A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem with my boyfriend. He always asks me to have sex with him. but i really don't want to. I'm only 13 and I want to keep my virginity for a while. I've told him no so many times and I keep telling him no. It's so annoying. What should I do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): If he isnt willing to wait then trust me, hes not worth one bit of your time. End it now before you get in too deep, you should never have to feel pressured into sex and if he cant respect your wishes then hes not worth it. Just think if you give him what he wants, whats he going to do now hes got what he wanted from you. Trust your own instinct, your ten times better than he is.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): Tell him that the next time he asks, you'll ask your mother for permission and if she says yes then you'll do it with him.
I mean seriously does he love you, or is this just a sex thing for him. Any guy that keeps bothering you for sex is a waste of time and should be dumped.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): look don't do it, tell him that if he really cares about u, he will respect the fact that u r not ready.
If he can't w8 4 u then just dump him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): say no, ur only 13 grl, it will hurt trust me.
I lost my virginity at 15 wen i wasn't ready, boy was that a mistake. It hurt like hell and if ur younger than that can u imagin the pain 4 u?
OUCH!
...............................
A
female
reader, iGirly +, writes (17 June 2008):
 Think about it, in the long run you might not even be together. Then losing it to him would be a waste.
If he cares about you and your beliefs he will wait!
...............................
A
female
reader, Seven +, writes (15 June 2008):
if he loves you he'll wait for u.....if not move on...dont let him force u doing nothin you dont wanna
...............................
A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (6 June 2008):
 a boy at that age only wants to have sex with you so he can go brag to all his friends and then he will likely leave you. you need to tell him that you want to wait until your at least 17 and that if he cant wait that long then he should just leave. plus if you guys do work out until your 17 then theres a good chances that its a good relationship.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): I suggest you leave his sorry ass, as he isn't showing you love OR respect by pressuring you. Really, well done for keeping to your decision! Don't give in girl! Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Hi - I agree with the other aunts - don;t give in to his pressuring. If I were you - I would talk with him about respecting your decision, but I would be a bit tougher...I would tell him you have been clear about your wishes and that he needs to stop trying to manipulate you into changing your mind. Tell him you will let HIM know IF the situation changes.
Then, tell him you care for him, but that if he continues to bring up sex you will not spend time with him...of course, you have to be willing to follow through with any 'consequences' you state...but if you do follow through he will soon get the picture.
Eg: You're at your BF's house, he starts to get a bit touchy feely and asks if you want to keep going...you get up and firmly (but nicely) tell him "I've told you I am not ready to be in a sexual relationship, I also told you that I wouldn't stay around you if you were pressuring me, so I'm going to go home now, I'll talk to you tomorrow."...then you need to leave.
Basically you are trying to 'train him' into not bringing it up/pressuring you...
Now - if you worry that doing this will mean he won;t want to be your BF....then, maybe he is not the right guy for you! If he is only in it for what he can 'get' from you...then he's not worth it.
Finally, good on you for being strong and respecting yourself and your own wishes...it certainly isn;t easy these days!! I think you will be so glad of your decision one day when you do find yourself in a position/with the person you are ready to have sex with!! You go girl!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): There are many reasons to wait, not to mention that your so called boyfriend is pressuring to have sex....this means he is after one thing....sex....he doesn't know the meaning of love, you won't be able to handle the emotions that come up after having sex and neither will he...it won't be pretty.
But more than that there is a very important medical reason for not having sex at the age of 13.
Due to your sheer youth, if you have sex with even just one male, you are highly likely to contract the HPV virus that leads to cervical cancer a potentially deadly disease if not one that will end your chances to conceive a child.
It doesn't happen because you have multiple sex partners, it happens because of your young age, is exacerbated
by poor hygene practiced by young men, and is due to your lack of development in your reproductive organs....if you want to learn more about it then simply google risk factors cervical cancer to read how young girls are at a high risk if they are sexually active.
Now is pleasing a boy worth dying for? I think not.
...............................
A
male
reader, daydremer +, writes (4 June 2008):
 End your realationship with that pervert he obviously doesnt love you. All he wants is sex no love or anything end it. Keep your virginity until you are with someone who will love you and isnt a pervert.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aeval +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Do not under any circumstance give into this boy, If he loved you he would wait. You are doing the right thing, sex is a really really big step and you need to be sure that you are 100% ready for it and the responsiblity that comes with it...(What would you do if you fell pregnant?, would he stick around at age 13?
Tell him how you feel that your not ready and if he keeps pushing you then you will leave him.
Good luck darling
...............................
A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Good on you for sticking to your guns! Nice to see there's still some young girls out there who are sensible. =)
If you have constantly told him no and he keeps pushing, then perhaps he is not the lad for you.
Have a talk to him about why he is not respecting your decision and why he's so desperate for sex - and don't be fooled if he pulls the old 'if you loved me you'd have sex with me'. If he loved you, he'd be willing to wait.
Good luck!
...............................
|
