A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm a 13 year old girl 14 in two weeks an I'm stuck in a situation because I met this boy on msn and he's really nice to me an everything. I've seen him before but the thing is he wants to have sex with me and I am fine with that but I'm still a virgin but want to loose my virginity with him. I told him that im not a virgin but when we do have sex can he tell if I have slept with anyone? He also said that he wants to have sex hardcore but the thing I want to know is will hurt my insides or make me bleed?? Also my friends said that I wont be able to walk properly afterwards and it changes the way I walk. Does it?please help me thanx xx
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msn, ready for sex, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): well bein honest i dont think age matters,i lost my v when i was 13 too and i dont regret it becuase i am still in love with the person i lost it to and were still together,as long as you know you want to do it and it feels right,but like bein honest if hes just boy of msn who uve seen once u will regret it becuase its ur virginity an people might call u a slag if you dont really know him,you should loose your v to the one you love and not someone you just thinks fit or whatever:) xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): im 13 and i say that if you wanna have sex then you should sit down with your parents and talk to them about this and if they say yes then go ahead theres nothin wrong with that but make sure thats its a guy thats you like and has knew for a while cause if you dont like him as much as he likes u or the other way around you will regret it and if your parents say no then no your not ready just have a talk with them and see what they say but use protetion and im also thirteen i think im to young i dont want kids and i dont want to have sex till im 28 and if i do before that time i will aslo regret it so its your choise do what you think is right and i hope thats its the rite descision to say no
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female
reader, realghettofabulous  +, writes (13 May 2009):
ok im 13 goin on 14 in a month. but as i read all of others people replys it seem as if it was tellin u what to do. im gonna be str8 up cuz im good at these kinda things and i know wat your talkin about except it not over da internet. ok let start off with this. i wouldnt trust the person over the internet cuz you dont know if he safe or not. i would probably do it with sum1 i know and sum1 i cared about. your virginity is like a gift. they have to earn that gift. im not tellin you wat to do. but if youthink about its much better if it was someone u knew and u were close to.
make the right decision
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reader, bubbly!  +, writes (4 August 2008):
HERE! plz see this! http://teenadvice.about.com/cs/sexuallyactive/ht/readyforsexht.htm i think this is more like the answer u need... =)
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reader, Angel (: +, writes (1 August 2008):
Im 14 and i have exactly the same problem , everyone thinks ive had sex about 6 times which just is not true , but when i eventually have sex im afraid it will hurt and the person will know im a virgin :( But Im glad i haven't had sex yet because i want to find the right person to do it with , make sure you love or your in love with this person , Because remember once your first time is gone , its gone forever and thats with you for the rest of your life and you dont want any regrets about it .
Good luck Hun :) xxxx
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female
reader, KK126 +, writes (24 June 2008):
im 14 and im wondering the same thing so im doing research i kno its hard but talk to ur parents meet this guy in person and talk to him abt it me and my bf are. Do as much research abt it as possible the desicion is up to u but b4 u make it research wat can go wrong make sure he is not just in it for sex. Im not telling u to wait till marrige cz i probably wont and thats hiporcritical these otha lil 13yr olds that are telling u not to dont kno the kind peer pressure we get abt sex so just research and when u can go into a store and perchace condoms and birthcontrol without being embarrassed ur ready
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): I was almost 13 when i had sex with my boyfriend and ill never regret it but like why didn't you use protection its like the most important thing in the world i would never wanna have kids now not till im like mid twenty's but i would tell my mum and dad if i did but i told mine and they sorta split up well good luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): don't have sex when your 13 trust me you'll regret it my friend thought she was ready and thought the guy was mr right she had the baby and mr right left her. she now completely regrets it and doesn't have a social life because she has to look after a 5 year old child. DON'T
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): Hun, Please dont be silly enough to have sex when your 13, ah come on think about it ...!, what are you gonna do when you become pregnant...?You could get all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases, ya know, or even get pregnant with HIV +!!!Please dont do it, now im 13 too and i havent even had a boyfriend let alone have sex so please dont do it...I hope u make the right descision sweetie xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): heya!
ihave the same problem as you :(
canny scaryy isnt it :|
dunno what to do :|
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): man if ur gonna do it use all the protection u can get like birth control and condoms like u dont wana go down the worng path. like take the safe path, thats wat me and my gf did, like none of us is gonna make ur decion, ur gonna make it for ur self were just trying to guide you, and if u are gonna do it make sure u do it safe!!:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): hey sweetie. Im almost 14 to. Sex isnt all its cracked up to be. its nice and all but it changes who you are. im not one of those people who are saying i know everything and wait till your married. because its not easy to wait. im telling you this from personal expirence. my first time, was the worst thing i ever did. i didnt talk to the guy i was doing it with. i did it out of peer pressure. and now i regret it. but i had to move on. i waited and waited to get over him, and it was hard because he was my first. then i met a guy on myspace, kinda like u and msn. well i was friends with his sister so we met b4 and hung out. well we were going out for a month, before we actually sat down and talked about the consaquences of having sex. once we figured out what we would do if something went wrong we had sex. it was amazing. were still dating no. im not telling you to do it or not to do it. but make sure u talk about it, and you have a plan and a back up plan. make sure hes the rite one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): No!! dont do it!! im your age and i would ever do such i thing, being that young and with someone i met on msn! This boy is probably some pervert, and if you do meet him, take things slowly, and meet him with a trusted adult. As for the sex, you are not ready, and should wait untill you are at least 16, when your body has matured. Do not let any boy push you in to anything you dont want to do, and even if your friends say they have done it, they probably havent! and anyway, any sex before the age of 18 is probably crap anyway!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): No!! dont do it!! im your age and i would ever do such i thing, being that young and with someone i met on msn! This boy is probably some pervert, and if you do meet him, take things slowly, and meet him with a trusted adult. As for the sex, you are not ready, and should wait untill you are at least 16, when your body has matured. Do not let any boy push you in to anything you dont want to do, and even if your friends say they have done it, they probably havent! and anyway, any sex before the age of 18 is probably crap anyway!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): I only want to told you that it is your life if you get happy with sex than go ahead but it should be safe sure you will enjoy much.......
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007):
really. dont.
There are LOADS of risks.
if he loves you, he can wait.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): i don't think that you should do it if you are not ready for it. and if he loves you very much he can wait for you. but if he doesn't wait that is mean maybe he was ready to use. this is what i think
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): Girl, ignore everyone else and listen to me: Do whatever makes you feel good! Gratify your desires. Your life will go by so fast, and one day you will be old and wishing you had done so many other things. Give it up for the boy. I know he will be happy and so will you. It feels so good to be bad!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): don't do it ur still young and u dont no what this guy has and how long have u known him for? u met him over the net,lord knows how many girls he asked to do that with him please take my foolish advice and dont do it it is not worth it once u had sex u cant stop and yes he will be able to tell because u'll bleed and another thin i do biology at school and i was doin some research on the net and it says that ur insides r not ready to handle oral sex are any kind of sex dont mind u might fell ur mentally ready but physically ur not ur body has to no bloom ur hormones are now acting up.if you do it it can later affect u like say when u want 2 give birth to a child u'll have problems r a tissue can rip r something,but please dont do it wait till at least 15 r 16 then try it give ur body time to fell comfortable with new changes(periods,larger breast,and pubic hairs) and besides he mite proberly have aids if by the way u deside to do it ask him for and HIV test just incase and if he refuses thats all he wants from u sex
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): You're being used. You're just too young to see it.
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reader, nuttyp6 +, writes (2 September 2007):
You dont know this guy and you really arnt ready for this please dont do it. Its not worth it hes just using you x
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reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (2 September 2007):
 No, you are not ready for sex. Your body and organs are not properly developed yet. It could damage your insides. Also you shouldnt let a guy push you into sex, because thats basically all they want, most cases where there are young girls, that is all what their boyfriends want. They do act nice then they just ditch you afterwards. If he respected you he wouldnt ask you for sex yet, he would wait.
Think and dont do anything you will regret.
Take care xxxxxxx
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reader, Loah +, writes (2 September 2007):
 Excuse me for being blunt here, but it seems that (after reading your post) you are by no means ready to have sex. It seems as though you are only considering losing your virginity solely to please this guy. Not only is sex illegal at your age, but it also means that you have to take on a whole new realm of responsibility. Meaning that if the unthinkable were to happen (pregnancy,std's,etc.) you would be mature enough to effectively deal with it. Personally I think you should establish a proper, maybe even a long term realtionship together before acting on your feelings. You haven't even told him the truth about you being a virgin yet (not a good move on your part). Think long and hard about this, your only 13 for god's sake!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): If you cannot spell the word "lose" correctly, you are too young for sex.
I recommend Scarleteen as a source of reliable information.
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female
reader, lah mouw +, writes (2 September 2007):
 Well although the legal age to have sex is 16. In my opinion I don't find there's any certain age you have to be to be ready for sex. It's all on you. You have to be the judge of that with the way you feel and your knowledge. For some people it does hurt the first time, and there is a thing called a hymen which breaks when the girl is penetrated by the penis which causes you to bleed. Try and think over your choices before you take action. Be caustious. Because you are young make sure a condom is present. Be careful.
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reader, Dr. John +, writes (2 September 2007):
 Not only is sex at your age illegal but you are too young to start down that road in any case.
A sexual relationship should never ever happen until you are ready to take on a whole host of responsiblilities that comes with it.
You have lots of time to get into that stuff later.
Believe me, I have seen many travel that road before they are ready only to find that they really should have waited.
Be a kid while you are still a kid. You will be glad you did. Doc.
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reader, penta +, writes (2 September 2007):
 If you're not very careful, your first time will hurt. You need to make sure he goes especially slowly, lots of forplay, maybe some lube, and don't just ram it home. If not, your first experience is going to be painful and bloody.
It won't permanently change the way you walk, regardless, but if it hurts you will walk funny until it stops hurting.
Please reconsider having sex this early. Not only is it illegal, but your body and your emotions are not ready. And if there are any consequences (pregnancy, STDs) you're not ready to handle those either.
Your first time should be special. It should be with someone you've dated for a very long time so that you know he will stick around after he gets your virginity. And it certainly shouldn't be with someone you couldn't tell the truth to. If you have to lie to him about your status (that you're a virgin) then this isn't a good enough relationship to loose it too.
Take care of yourself hon.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): The fact that you are asking these questions proves that you are too young and uneducated about sex, love, protection, STD's, AND your own body. Wait it out until you take a real sex education course or can talk about it with a trusted adult. Giggling 13 year old girls in the bathroom aren't reliable sources of information. Trust me, I was one once.
Are you embarassed to ask your mom or dad about it? If so, I'd wait until you can at least have an adult conversation about it with your parents (who will most likely be paying for your birth control prescription). And by "adult" I mean mature. Don't just storm in and say "Mom! I'm gonna have sex OKAYYY?! DEAL WITH IT, GOD!" and then run away and slam your bedroom door. At 13? hell, you're still a kid.
Most of my friends lost their virginities between the ages of 17 - 19. They were educated about their bodies and the risks (emotional AND physical), and open with their parents about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): Ahhh, Jr. High... DON'T DO IT!! DO NOT DO IT! I know you don't want to hear that you are too young, so think of it as you have not experienced enough in life yet. At your age girls are VERY sensitive and often think that these sorts of issues are important. I remember thinking I was in "love" with my 7th grade boyfriend. Ha! I know how you feel, because it was such a hyper-sensitive and awkward time in my life. Trust me, by the time you hit 18 you will be laughing at this. And I mean that in a light hearted way. You will change and mature. Having sex does not make you mature.
You'll be able to walk fine, in general a vagina does not affect your legs, though you could be sore. And there is a part of your body called a hymen that could tear during sex causing you to bleed. Oh by the way, it's going to HURT the first time, it will not be what you expect.
My advice (for your safety and to avoid being called a whore) is to wait until you are in a relationship with somebody you love and trust.
Oh. Protection.
But if I saw my 13 year old buying condoms I would smack her upside the head and throw her ass in bording school. Your parents raised you better than that young lady. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): hun you should tottaly wait until you are older and more mature before you go and have sex espcailly at your age you are to young for one and you know about aids and having sex this young will ruin your life forever just a warning waiting til your older and in love is the smart way to go trust me i am 15 and still a virgin okay xoxo christmas bye good luck and listen to my advice okay bye take care
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): Dear, please don't. I'm 21, and I remember wanting to lose my virginity when I was 13 too. I've been there. I thought I would be ahead of the curve, more mature. Later, I lost mine when I was 16 to a boy I was in a relationship with, and you know what? I wish I hadn't. I didn't love him, and I gave up something very precious to somebody I could give a care less about.
Plus take in mind that losing your virginity SEEMS cool and rebellious when you are 13, but later on when you're older people will start saying things like "Oh God there's ________, she screwed some guy from the internet when she was 13. What a slut!" You will be judged by your peers and possibly even treated like a piece of meat.
You wouldn't want your parents to be disapointed either. And trust me, you are still so young. You are still their little girl. They will be shocked and your relationship with them could change dramatically.
My best advice is to wait until you are older (if you have to ASK if you are ready, you are NOT ready, please just take my word for it) and in love and in a monogamous relationship.
I know at your age you feel like you wont regret it, but theres a pretty good chance that one day you will wish you gave yourself to somebody you love. REALLY, TRULY, LOVE.
Anyway, 13/14 year old boys are chronic liars. He'll tell his friends, it will get around. I highly doubt that a young boy looking for sex on the internet has had sex before.
When you ARE ready, I urge you to use birth control pills AND condoms. STD's are much more common than you think, and teenage pregnancy and/or abortion doesn't sound like too much fun.
P.S. My best friend is a beautiful 21 year old girl who is a virgin, and she is highly respected (not to mention sought-after). Being a virgin is in most cases seen as a sign of morals, standards, and purity. No self respecting man wants a young lady who lost it when she was 13 to a boy on the internet. (I'm not lecturing you, I'm just telling you woman to woman, that it IS in your best interest to wait. Guys respect girls they can bring home to mom. Guys don't respect a girl who just gives it up. You are worth so much more!)
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reader, cocobomb +, writes (2 September 2007):
i wouldnt do it if i were a girl.
but its your body do hat you want.
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reader, lostnhelpless +, writes (2 September 2007):
Honestly Hun for 13 its a bit young to be thinking about losing it to this guy.... the thing with guys is that they will use you and you need to be sure that he wont...have you talked this through with a adult your only just a teenager plus your not legaly aloud to have sex for another 3 years... as for your frids tellin you about the walking i didnt notice a differance....yes you do bleed your first time and yes it hurts but please be carefull mske sure you use contraception...go to your doctors aswell
well i hope this helps
yours
x x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): hi i have the same situationi meet this boy over msn buit he is 16 and he wants to have sex to but my answer to u would be tell the truth he might still want to have sexwith you
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007): my dear..
you shouldnt rush into sex..you are still very young and you stike me as someone wh isnt ready at all.
you havent said for how long have u known this person. if he is rushing you into sex he doenst love u. if he does he will wait for as long as it takes.
please do not do something you will regret later in life and even after all this you are going to get in bed with him at least make sure you protect yourself.
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reader, L0V3LiiK3W0AH +, writes (1 September 2007):
 hey, i can probably answer this question best cause i'm actually also turningg 14 in a few weeks also and i've been in your same position also.
First off all NEVER be in a rush to lose your virginity. It's a beautiful thing to have, no lie. && Truth is you end up regretting it with time if you just give it away like that. Make sure your absolutely positive you want this and make sure you feel comfortable with the person your giving it too.
I'm not going to tell you not to fo it or go for it or anything like that. Just make sure you want this.
Also, seeing how its your first time don't have it hardcore just yet cause it'll hurt you seeing how your not used to it. You probably will bleed seeing how its your first time and you'll just feel a little off when your walkingg but it won't stay that way forever.
Kay, well i hope i helped in someway.
take care
xxx
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reader, Emzy1591 +, writes (1 September 2007):
 HeyOk firstly-DON'T EVEN CONSIDER HAVING SEX! Your 3 years under the legal age and no matter how mature you think you are, its a stupid idea. Your body is not physically ready and neither are you mentally. Secondly, this boy shouldn't even be thinking about having sex with an underage girl. It could get him a prison sentence as sex with an underage girl is considered as rape. Thirdly, you should lose your virginity to somebody you love and trust when you are legally old enough and mentally and physically ready. Fourthly, It can hurt when you first have sex and having sex will NOT change the way you walk. This shows how immature and unaware you are about sex. Another reason not to do it. I'm 15, two years older then you and even though I am quite mature I wouldn't even consider having sex yet and am still a virgin.Please, if you want to be friends with this boy or even pursue a relationship with him then do so, just promise me you will not have sex with him. It's not all its cracked up to be and you as well as guys will respect you more for keeping hold of your virginity. Don't get a reputation for being "easy".Hope I've helpedLet me know how you get onEmzxxxx
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reader, lovehate +, writes (1 September 2007):
 hey hunni i am nearly 15 and had sex 1 month ago for the first time. Yes you will bleed-depending on how deep he will penetrate or "gos" depends on how much you bleed. If he thinks it isnt your first time he will be rougher. Some of my friends have found it hard to walk the next day but only for a day or two and it doesnt change it forever. My advice is wear a condom and tell him not to be rough.
How old is he? 13 too?
13 is young but i know people who have done it at that age and havnt been "scarred". If you are 100% positive you are ready then all i can say is use protection. I am around your age and am not going to tell you not to do it if you are ready, there is no point because you will go and do it anyway sooner rather than later.
I hope you havnt ever met him in person and have just spoken to him on MSN...if this is the case. Do not even meet him!!
I hope i helped, please mesage me to let me know how things go...xxx
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reader, Clivey123 +, writes (1 September 2007):
Hey hun,I really wouldn't have sex with this guy atm, I know you feel you are ready, and have probably heard this all before. But seriously you will regret it later on in life. You are still young and shouldn't have to worry about all the problems sex could bring up.Just get to know this guy a bit more, become closer as friends and enjoy life as a 13/14yr old girl, there will be plenty of time for sex later on in life, don't rush though growing up, you'll regret it later. :)Hope This All Helped xx
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reader, tinkerbell01 +, writes (1 September 2007):
 I lost my V way too early to someone who I thought I wanted to lose it too, it was dreadful and no it didn't make me walk funny nor did it make me bleed,(but it can the first time) each person is different. I thought I was great at the time oh I've lost my virginity, I'm big and clever but from life experiences and personal opinion.. sex is sex you only truly lose your virginity when you make love to someone your in love with.. PLEASE don't make the same mistake I did.. wait until you meet the man of your dreams and if that doesn't happen till years to come then so be it...PLEASE WAIT.
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reader, saiyuri +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Girl, your virginity is your pride. My answer to you is to lose it with that special guy who will be there for you when you need him. I lost mine to the guy I am dating and he's everything to me! He was there when I cried and hurt myself. Does that guy want to be there for you like that? What happens if you became pregnant? Will he be there for you? All I'm saying is make sure he's the one for you and only you. Trust is the best! OXOXOXOXSai!
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reader, HeartbrokenHere +, writes (1 September 2007):
n dont have sex with him,
if hes older than 16 he could get arrested for rape etc. even if hes young like you, just dont do it! honestly you could catch a STi or fall pregnant just dont do it.
message me if u want to talk xx
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