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How can I stop comparing other guys to him? I would still like to stay in touch because he means a lot to me...

Tagged as: Breaking up, Long distance, Love stories<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 September 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 September 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok then the situation is that in the last few months I have met up with my ex-boyfriend about 3 times to 'mess around' as such! This was something that he initiated but I happily and wanted to go along with it. It felt wierd because it felt so normal as if no time had passed since we split (which was 6 months ago). But we both know that we can't get back together because it just wouldn't work because he goes to Uni in Birmingham and I am going to uni in Exeter so we just wont see each other and he has never been the best at long distance communication.

The problem is how can I stop comparing other guys to him? I am just scared that I will never find someone else because I always compare them to him (even though he is definitely nit God's gift), there is something that just really attracts me to him. I know the first step is to stop seeing him to 'mess around' but I would still like to stay in touch because he means a lot to me (I lost my virginty to him) and I think about him the whole time. I have been with other people since him but only for fun nothing serious.

As I'm off to uni soon, I just want to find someone who will like me for me and respect me without comparing him to my ex and I don't know how to do this.

View related questions: get back together, long distance, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thankyou for your advice! You're right - the only way to get over him is to simply not see him, so I am going to try and do this. It shouldn't be too difficult now because he has gone away to uni and I am going to start so hopefully new beginnings are ahead! Thankyou for your help - I think deep down I knew this but just needed to be told in black and white!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007):

There are many men out there.. great ones. You clearly feel a stronger bond with this one because you lost your virginity to him, that takes a while to let go. However if you know your not going to get back together then why keep stringing each other along... Just move on and go find someone better, because trust me theres always someone better. Us girls tend to not realize this so much when were trying to let someone go that meant alot to us. I suggest you just stop seeing him and continue on with your life.. it will make it easier on you.

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