A
male
age
41-50,
*revor
writes:If it is wrong to view women as sex objects then why is there things like pornography and prostitution? It’s seems kind off contradictory doesn’t it? I mean how are people suppose to learn that viewing women as sex objects is wrong when things like pornography and prostitution are still around?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007): Hi,
Yes it is wrong it is degrading to both men and women but as long as their are sickos out there purchasing it it will always be available this society is obsessed with sex it is becoming increasingly worrying the way some men and women are bought for sexual favours and the porn industry is just disgusting who buys this? I am married and would never allow anything like this in my home i have two sons and i am doing my best to bring them up to respect women any men who buys sex needs clinical physcological help it is wrong it is sick and it is degrading to women i feel we are becoming a nation with no moral values and marriage vows no longer exist in some marriages i have read things on this site about married men going to prostitutes men watching porn when the wife is in bed the list is endless what is wrong with these men why do they feel the need to go lust after other women when they have a wife at home? same thing applies to some women who cheat on their husbands he may be the sole provider in that family so why does his wife disrespect that i feel this is all getting out of hand the porn the sex industry which i read in the papers are using children at age 14!!! that is sick what sick person uses a child for sexual gratification we all have to get back to being decent living morally honest people i would hate for any of my two boys to ever disrespect any women i wish all these men and women who are abusing people could see the untold damage they are causing up and down the country to prostitutes servicing married men lying there with the ring still on the finger yes i hear you all saying well no one twisted his arm but they obviously have no heart or morals they become like robots next next!! what a way to live your life shocking i could highlight so many other things the amount of wives girlfriends husbands who have had their live ruined by these people yes it takes to tango but they would not be using these sevices if they were'nt available and they are all too ready available the sooner this goverment clamp down on all these services the better and for every person caught using them fine them heavily and report them to their work after all we all want to know when phaedophiles are near us same applies to people using prostitutes they are abusing women maybe even children so i feel the same law should apply here maybe that would stop them in their tracks anyhow i could go on and on my answer to you is if you feel the need to use these things think before you do as starting with porn leads to other sex crimes believe you me i know i work with addicts with sexual problems and this is a trigger factor so be very careful hope this helps.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): If its wrong to be a pedophile than why is there child pornography?
If its wrong to drive while intoxicated then why do they serve liquor in restaurants?
You are correct, you have no responsibility for yourself. Its society's fault.
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A
male
reader, The Fonz +, writes (16 February 2007):
 The attraction of porn for women is teh fact that money can be made so easily. It's like when women go to LA in search of becoming an actress. The female porn star can make more money than most of the Hollywood icons. When you think about it, porn rakes in more money than Hollywood blockbusters do.
People in the porn industry understand the male desire and play on it accordingly. Just as drug dealers do.
Morally right, not a chance. Profitable, more than you can imagine.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): Great reply Eddie, you raise a very valid point. I think also, it depends on the motive behind the act of the person. If you accept a more liberal approach then you would maybe accept that there are women who choose to use their body for what they see as their gain - so they are not acting in a derogatory way but rather simply marketing and selling themselves - they are the ones that win. I suppose the same is the same for male escorts / models / porn stars. Have they made themselves nothing more than sex objects too or are they merely taking advantage of a market?
Going back to the motive behind the behaviour, I have quite a long-term friend who is a stripper and model who works at a respectable club called spearmint rhino. She however became addicted to cocaine about 5 years ago which led to her performing sex acts on various dealers and men who paid her as she was hooked and became in debt. She was very proud of the former work but disgusted and ashamed of herself for the later. So perhaps if a women makes a decision out of free choice and not out of desperation she is respectable and is not degrading women.
Another view though is that women who are involved in these markets do so out of desperation or because of problem childhoods. I guess it could be argued that no women who had freedom, choice and self-respect would want to use her body as a means for financial or self-confidence benefit.
To answer the question more directly, perhaps it is the women themselves who are involved in prostitution and pornography who see themselves as the objects? Their actions certainly encourage the idea that women are sexual objects. Men will always desire women, and there will always be women who wish to satisfy that desire; it is not how things should be, but look at any social system that collapses; rape and sexual abuse is one of the first things that comes from the collapse of law and order.
I think though in an ideal world, men would be better at controlling their sexual desire and women would have more self-respect for their bodies.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 I don't think it a great way to make a living and it probably has long term consequences for "most" people. I also agree with Martini though. There are many types of people who do things for different reasons. I don't think it's common for most women to desire to be in porn but for some it is. It's not a moral dilema for them. I wouldn't want my wife/daughter/sister to do it but that's my mind set.
Is it more honourable to pay someone minumum wage to flip burgers or scrub toilets. Who's being taken advantage of in that scenario? Some people might say it's more honourable and by the general views of our society, that's true.
For the most part though, some people make bad choices in life and end up in a position they regret. Porn might be one. Flipping burgers might be another.
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A
female
reader, stacey.m06 +, writes (16 February 2007):
wow this is a really hard question to answer! no one truly knows why women become prostitutes or porn stars. but the main evidence is money. some people would do anything for money. and although men see these people as sex objects, they need to remember that not every one is like this and you cant judge all women for this. its like accusing all men of being a peodofile. not everyone falls under the same catagory
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A
male
reader, kakaman  +, writes (16 February 2007):
I read a great book on this exact question called Pornography:The Other Side by FM Christensen. It brought up a lot of counter arguments to the idea that pornography is evil. It starts at human desire, the differences between female and male desire and then goes into how we view sexuality. I would really recommend this book if these types of questions plague your mind.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): no its not ok for anyone to be treat anyone as a sex object, not men, women, children,animals, nothing.why not take this story in consideration, a young girl was brought up by her dad, who locked her in the basement all her life and made her do porno until she was 18 and she then fell pregnant, she ended up running away, she gets out but has no job, a baby and no family, no money, she has no self respect and all she knows is how to be a sex slave, of course she becomes a prostitute, because she does not know any better,she is trying to feed her child and give them a roof above there head. how many people these days are going to give a women a job who has no home, no skills and probably no people skills and has a baby?... not many. I can also tell you that women don't do pornos because they want the attention they do it because they need money, don't have a choice and are sex slaves or have been sexually abused as a child, or are or have been in abusive relationships. If people did not look at porn or have sex with prostitutes then the industry would not be so worth wild, but because of the disrespectful people out there that think its all ok and normal, well its those people who just add to the problem, if you look at porn, then its your fault,not that the poor person probably being raped. Porn is an addictive thing, just like junk food, smoking etc.... if it gets used enough and there is a big enough demand for it then of the industry will grow because of the money involved, people don't care about feelings or other people, they just care about the money. People who look at porn also don't give a crap about other people, because if they did they would not get off to strangers, and maybe think for a second about who it is that there looking at,you don't know who they are, how old they are or if they are consenting to what you see in the pictures. And also take in consideration of the people they are hurting, (family, wives,husbands, children etc...)
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (15 February 2007):
 I loved Martini's take on pornography. I love it. It's true, not all porn is degrading to women. Yes, there's some that is. There's also some that's all about women bossing men around and treating them like objects. Some is just so we (the public) can watch two people having sex, which is hot. Let's face it.
But I wanted to write about prostitution. It's an unfortunate career for some women to have, yes. CD was right, it is one of the most ancient occupations in the world. Why is it so popular? Because in some places, it's a legal way for men to have sex when they're not getting their rocks off anywhere else. I worry about men who want to be having sex and can't get it validly (getting a girlfriend, etc.). Could that result in the raping of women? Getting it the only way they can? I wonder about that.
Porn, I know lots of girls who do porn (I work with a lot of strippers and porn stars), and I don't know one who has been forced into porn. I understand that some people are forced into it, and that's a sad situation. But a lot of girls (and guys) love the industry. They love using their sexual power, they love the art of making love and doing it right. Some are exhibitionists and enjoy being watched.
A lot of women feel powerful and liberated by doing things like pornography. Do you know how many men bow DOWN to porn stars? They idolize them, love them, would do anything for them. Men become slaves to us women. To tell the truth, sometimes I think the sex industry degrades men more than women.
The sex industry is still around because men (and women) love sex. Sex will never stop being the highest feeling of bliss we humans can achieve. What is better than an orgasm? What feels better than that? Few things. Sex won't change by much for years and years and years. Women will always be beautiful, and men will always chase after them in attempts to have sex with them.
Sex is something most people crave. It's a natural craving. Prostitution is taking advantage of that craving, yes. Pornography can gratify us as well. Men and women both.
Don't think I'm saying that prostitution is hunky dory. And pornography isn't either. I think that people who are forced into the career be it driven by financial needs, drugs, abuse, weakness are a very sad bunch and I feel for them. And some porn is degrading. Lots of it is.
Women and men, some of them just love sex and that can NOT be accused of being a bad thing.
I think that sex education needs to be improved on so understanding about sex and even the industry can be better understood. The more we know, the less we can assume things about women - them being sex objects. Some people love sex and they can't be condemned.
I'm just rambling. I don't know....
Some pornography and prostitution IS harsh and only giving society a rotten view of women. But I don't believe that all pornography and prostitution should be ruled out all together. The sex drive is a powerful thing, and should we cancel out the sex industry all together, you're going to have a lot of people with a lot of bottled up sexual needs.
I can't say this the way I'd like to. I'm going to cut it out now.
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): IMO obviously, it isn't wrong to see women as sex objects. Just as it isn't wrong to see men as sex objects. You have to consider the subject in context. You can't just round every single woman or man up into one category and say they are this or that. It's not accurate.
It's like asking "Is the usage of marijuana wrong?" People with a narrowmind will answer yes it is wrong, but why is it wrong? Their most common answer is a bunch of dope heads running around and doing stupid things. Well, considering that of the dozens and dozens of people that I know that use Pot aren't dopeheads that run around doing silly things, I would say that statement is mostly false.
It's also like asking "Is the usage of alcohol wrong?" People with a narrowmind will answer yes it is wrong because they think that people who drink will get drunk eventually, cause deaths from driving, or do stupid silly things, etc. However, I am a social drinker, and I know a lot of social drinkers. Sure there are teenagers and many college students who drink to get drunk and then use the drunk factor as an excuse for their cheating habits, but I, as well as many others do not do that. Key phrase: "drink responsibly".
Like back on pornography, you can't round every single person up that look at porn as being bad men, and you can't round up every single woman in porn as abused women. For conservative people, they will tell you that porn is bad, is objectifies women as sex toys, it is used to please men. No, no it isn't. The women in porn they think about are those with huge titties, prances around like ditzy unintelligent bimbos. However, if they actually did a tiny bit research, they will know that the porn industry isn't just made up for those big busted blond bimbos. It's made up of a HUGE variety of people - every where from tasteful modelling like MET, Playboy, and Penthouse to smut like Hustler, Cheri, BangBros, etc.
As said, you have to look at the different aspects of porn. You can't just say all porn is that, just like you can't say all drinkers and all pot users are this and that.
Pornography for the bulk of today is by choice. There are the few unfortunate that are forced into doing porn due to low-self esteem, possibly abusive relationships, and such, but that is apparent in ALL aspects of life. Alcohol abuse, sexual abuse, controlled abuse, kidnapping and homosexual abuse, torture in various aspects of scoiety, gang abuse, drug abuse.
With that said, if narrowminded people round everyone up of one aspect into one category, then that means EVERYONE who drinks, smokes, uses Pot, loves sex, watches porn, in the crime syndicate, etc, etc, etc, are all bad people. Hell, if that was the case, I rather be a 'bad' person, then a delusionally (sp?) 'good' person. 8]
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (15 February 2007):
 Prostitution is the most ancient occupation in the world. It's not going to die out any time soon. Lots of things are wrong yet they still happen. There are old men raping little kids and young people killing the elderly to rob their pernsion. Not of this stuff is right. We know it's morally wrong but it still happens....
CD
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