A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend are soo in love, we've been together for almost a year [11 months and 22 days]And we've discussed having sex for the past few months, i am not pressured at all and we're very matture about the subject. We've discussed contrception and everything else that comes with it. But im not sure whether to do it when im 16 or until im married. I know im ready for it even now and we're willing to face the responcibilities that come of it too. But being a stong Catholic/Christian person, i need to know what it right not just in general, but for me and my boyfriend, if i could i'd express my love to him now, but 14 [15 in 12 days] is a bit young to lose my virginity, is it not? and also im afriad what people will think. But then again, i love him. I'm so confused please help. xxx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): i dont think that if u love him u need to have sex. sex is a physical method of expressing love but i thimk its way too early to think about sex.sure, if u really want to convey yourlove then u can do with some kissing.but u should not measure ur love with sex. there are many stories about people and their love without lust.go through them
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2008): Hi,If you love him go for it but do remember it is illegal and there will be consequences and once you have gone so far there is no going back to a kiss and a cuddle! If you are considering sex now there is probably no way you will wait untill you're married so just be sure he is the right person that will stick by you if anything does go wrong. Try to gradually come to sex rather than just throwing yourself in at the deep end. But most importantly have fun, whichever desicion you make it will be the right one for you so just follow your heart. xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): hi there,
i think what u are feeling is not love,its just ur hormonal growth. i also think u are too young and still a baby to mummy. why dont you concentrate on ur education and be what u wanna be in the near by future. the virginity is not going to be taken away from you. you have it and so its your pride,so why dont u keep it until u are married.the future is yours and youve got a choice to make so wise up.
BLIZZARD xxxxx take care.
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A
male
reader, tarisu  +, writes (27 October 2007):
hey that is one of the greatest challenge. it would be better if you hold on and be patient keeping your virginity until after marriage when you will really feel the true and deepest meaning of sex with your forever partner then losing your virginity now and might regret if your not careful.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (23 September 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
I think if you are a strong Catholic and you feel really strongly about this subject, I think by waiting for marriage (if not 16), you'll feel better about yourself when you're older and reflecting on your past decisions.
There are so many ways to express your love to each other. Personally, I think real love can survive and be fun and energetic both without sex. You don't need to be getting busy in the bedroom to feel love as strong as couples who are.
I think it's great that both of you are being so mature about the subject, and I hope your boyfriend isn't pressuring you (it doesn't sound like he is). Make your love strong emotionally and enjoy kissing and exploring each other... the anticipation makes sex even better (and more special) when you finally have it!
Wait because it's important to you and your beliefs.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, On Cloud9 +, writes (23 September 2007):
 I tend to think that if you are confused about this and you need to ask people's advice, then you should really listen to what your heart is telling you. You are not really ready, by that I mean you are not ready to make that decision yet.
You say that you either want to wait until you are 16 or married, well if you lose it now you will never get that choice back, so I would suggest that you give yourself a break and wait until you are 16 then talk about it again.
Atleast if you decide to wait, it takes the pressure off and you can both continue just enjoying each others company.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (23 September 2007):
 Once lost is lost. Wait at least until you're 16 then discuss it again. At that time you may still decide to wait, but at least you'll still have it for the discussion.
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A
female
reader, broken babe +, writes (22 September 2007):
 omg my boyfriend and i at 9 months in our relationship and both 14 had sex people will do what they want you cant just say your to young because that doesnt work anymore i know a 12 year old whos having sex and im sad for that but 14 is young to i admit but in my case it worked out fine we enjoyed it we used protection and were still strong as ever but know we have a connecetion of soul and body but what my point is yes its good to wait but if you think your truly ready if your considering it against your religion then dont its a matter of downright do you want to?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): Im the girl who wrote this, my boyfriend is 17
and just to make it clear he doesn't pressure me at all, he leaves it all up to me. && Thanks for the advice, i decided to wait. =)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): hi
a few things, firstly, religion dictates no sex before marriage (yes I go to church), secondly you are under the legal age of consent so if you do it theres all the legal baggage that goes with that, third cervical cancer: the risk of getting this disease is higher if you have sex at a young age. I hate to pry but what about all the protection/contraception issues? And you would need somewhere safe which would mean yours or his home and I can bet your parents would not like that! I say do not do it. Wait till you are 16 and see if you still feel the same. Maybe even wait till you are married, then it will be so much more special. Trust me it will be worth the wait. If it does not feel right now or you are unsure then its not right. You will know when its right, and yes, It used to do my head in when my parents would tell me this but its so true, be patient, theres no hurry when its right you will know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): Oook...well I'm a Atheist...But hey, it's your life I guess.
You say you're a Catholic. Don't catholics disagree with contreception? You say your are also a Christian? I don't know how that's meant to work, but whatever way, Christians normally don't have sex until marrage.
With a normal person, I would suggest just wait till your 16 and then use a condom.
But...if you really want to be in this religion of yours...then don't have sex with him until you marry him and don't use a condom. Hmm.
Up to you, sweety.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): I hope your not at my church! Your too young to be having sex. How old is your b/f? If you can't wait till your married, which lots of Christain people do then you can at least wait till your 16.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): If I had a daughter I'd be horrifed if she had sex at 15, even more so if she JUST turned 15. Your situation made worse by the fact your such a strong christain. Is your b/f older than you? I don't understand why you both can't wait till your 16. When your older you will look back and regret it, your realise you were too young. But it's up to YOU, I'm quite shocked this question being asked by an church going girl like you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): The boy won't get in trouble unless he is over the age of consent & she is not..I say do whatever you want & don't let your religion make you feel bad. It is a bit unrealistic to wait to have sex until marriage. I am 26 & just got marrried & my husband is 32 & it's his 1st marriage as well. The worst thing to do would be to get married young just to feel like it's o.k. to have sex. You need to date around to find the guy who is right for you to marry, only after being together a few years at least before making that decision. I had a lot of boyfriends who I thought I was going to marry some day, about 5 guys..so don't make that decision based on religion.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): If you have to ask about it, you're not ready - plus you're under the minimum legal age.
There are many other ways of showing your love for someone other than offering them your body. Your hormones are probably playing hell with your emotions at this time of your life. The only advice I could offer is "Don't do it." It will be that much more special when you're in a proper serious adult relationship. I doubt if it will be with the same chap you think you're in love with now.
There's a greatly increased risk of you developing cervical cancer in later life by engaging in sexual activity at your age.
If you doubt me, ask your mother or priest what she / he thinks about it.
Phil
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A
female
reader, L.O.S.E.R.  +, writes (22 September 2007):
 Well are you SURE you're ready?If you are,you know what you want,it's your life and you don't care about anything else...but you do.I think it's important not to care about what others think cause it can stop you from doing some things that might be so good for you but yet again virginity is a big deal if you're a Catholic I guess.Personally I'm not religious at all but I firmly believe that 14,15 and sometimes even over 16 IS too young to get sexually involved.Maybe time changes and maybe I'm conservative about it but hey,you're just a kid.Sorry to put it that way,I don't mean to offend you,not a bit,but I changed my opinions so many times since I was 14-now I'm 19 and I'm still learning.I can't believe it's possible to be mature enough in that age.By the way,you haven't write us how old is your bf but however,from all I already wrote so far you can tell what my advice is to.Wait till you're older and then when you REALLY get mature enough do things you want,not what people around you think that you should.And enjoy it being a minor,it'll pass so fast and it's actually a great period of your life if you have no major problems in it;)xXx
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (22 September 2007):
If you commit to a sexual relationship before the age of 16 you are breaking the law. It is considered rape - even if you instigate it and want to do it. If you practice intercourse he could end up in a lot of trouble including a criminal record if your parents decide to press charges especially if he is over 16. The consent law does only refer to intercourse though where a boy and a girl are concerned.
At 16 you are free to advance to a full sexual relationship if that is what you both desire.
As for your religion - you need to be in control of your own destiny and need to decide for yourself, NOT have that decision made for you by an outside body.
Only YOU know how you feel once you have got to 16 and NOBODY has the right to tell you how to behave intimately towards your boyfriend. It is your body and your choice once you are 16 and nobody or no establishment out there has the right to make these kind of decisions for you.
We are lucky enough to live in a country where we have very good rights and priviliges and they are in place for your and everyones benefit.
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A
female
reader, rose the relationship solver +, writes (22 September 2007):
 sex is not the answer to your relationship, you are 14/15. yas you may take precautions but you may still get pregnant or sti's. There are many other ways of showing your love to him. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): im 14 this year.
and im with my boyfriend for 10 months.
and we're not considering sex yet.
we've seen each other nude.
and hugged and kissed nude.
but not sex.
i was not ready.
and still am not.
he knows and thankfully is able to understand that.
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A
female
reader, rose the relationship solver +, writes (22 September 2007):
yes you are absolutly correct, 14/15 is the wrong age to have sex. There are many other ways of showing your love to him but sexual thing is not one of them. try and find somthing none sexual good luck
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A
female
reader, carchick +, writes (22 September 2007):
 hi i think if u tthink ur ready u should have sex but if u dont want to have sex u dnt have to its up to u xx
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A
female
reader, Emaz help +, writes (22 September 2007):
 If he loved as it sounds like he does as he is not presuring you then he would wait. Yes 14/15 is young, too young. Im nearly 16 and refuse to have sex until im in a stable relationship and im 16, because what's the point? Theres no rush at all, waiting will just make it more special. As a Christion, do what you believe in, but no one can tell you what to do. Im glad you are thinking sensiably but expressing your love shouldn't mean that you have to have sex with him!
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