A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok,if this helps,we're both 23 and he's a uni student.I'm not sure it will but hey...Anyway,my question is if a guy is using you would he actually add you on facebook-I mean,what if his other girls are on his facebok too and I contacted one of them?He's not stupid,but mabey he just thinks I wouldn't dare contact girls from his facebook?Anyway,is this an indicater that I'm the only one or is it common for guys that are using girls to still add them on facebook?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011): Hi-I am the op-yes I think he's using me but the fact that he added me on facebook makes me think that mabey he's not because,if he has other girls,I could contact them through facebook and tell them we're seeing each other,-would he really be careless enough to put casual flings on facebook so his girlfriend/girlfriends can see that he knows them-do you get what I mean?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): He could be, there is no way for us to know, but if you're suspicious just avoid the whole thing. Facebook is a good way to ruin a relationship so I would stay away from it unless you use it to network in other ways. Don't use it as a social network or a way of communicating things about your social life.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 March 2011):
 It's not an indicator of either. He could be using you, then again he could be sincere about you... adding you to facebook doesn't bear any significance. If you have doubts about him I don't think you should be with him in either case. Why enter a relationship with someone you are this suspicious of?
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A
female
reader, auntyR +, writes (6 March 2011):
from experience facebook does nothing but cause problems. However just because he has added you on facebook does not mean that you are the only girl he may be seeing. The only way to make what you official is to actually talk about what you want, if he is not keen then don't waste your time trying. Whatever you do, don't use facebook as an indicator about where your love life stands.
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A
male
reader, sevenseals  +, writes (6 March 2011):
 Often, Facebook entails a bevy of meaningless actions as well as those that have all sorts of underlying subtexts. Then, there are those that are meant to directly mean something.In short, it's hard to tell. Just like how someone is your "In Real Life" friend, and yet deletes you from Facebook. "I thought we were friends?!" Well, you are, just no longer on Facebook. Why? Who knows but that person, and more than likely, they won't really tell you.If you're in, what you perceive to be, a serious relationship (or even one that you think is heading there), then you need to just talk to him. Leave Facebook out of it because it's just trivial and, ultimately, might lead you down a paranoid road as it has for so many people (including myself).It also depends on what you mean by "Just using you," because sometimes what you see as a serious relationship to the other person might just be a casual hook-up. It's a miscommunication that often ends in distressing results. He might very well be friends with a lot of girls that he's been with or is currently seeing, but you won't know unless you talk to him, yourself.And try to restrain yourselves from enacting some sort of public, relationship quarrel over Facebook. It's just a lame thing, is all.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (6 March 2011):
Do you have any other indicators of you being used? In my experience, everyone adds everyone on Facebook these days, so I don't think that portion was really of concern to him. However, if you're feeling that you're being used from some of his other actions, then I suggest finding out what his actual intentions are before you let him get any closer.
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A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (6 March 2011):
 Using you in what sense? If he's just using you for sex, then why would he care if you contacted other girls on his Facebook? Unless he's having sex with them as well? Then maybe he still wouldn't care because he never said you both were exclusive.Or did you mean cheating?
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A
male
reader, Jjang19  +, writes (6 March 2011):
Are you telling us that this guy is using you or asking us?
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