A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i live together, been together three years. in this time ive dealt with his lack of honesty, his flirting, lying about his whereabouts, and one birthday and this valentines he made no effort to express anything towards me not even a text, but he had time to wish a female friend happy birthday on fb. i feel like he's not acknowledging me and taking me for granted. we dont talk much beyond how was work, no plans for the future, when we go out its to grab some food but he doesnt show any enthusiasm for trying to bring any romance or show any real interest in us growing together. i told him i feel hes growing apart from me but he jokes around when it comes to serious talks. i own my feelings and i am tired of being the only one to leave love notes, try to plan dates alone, try to get to know his private life, try to spend quality time together, tired of trying to get him to stop hurting himself with negative choices, tired of being and feeling so alone despite his physical presence. i need more than i love you, i need to see it, i need to hear the truth, i shouldn't be the only one hoping this grows into more, i shouldn't have to beg for him to live a straightlife and save for his goals. we do everything seperately. he runs to his family all the time, he doesnt make effort for us like that. he doesnt offer to help financially here, he shows only interest in video games, sports, facebook, and his text messages. sometimes i get a glimmer of hope, but then im talking to myself. i miss when i knew everything, or at least was one of the first he came to. i miss when he wanted to just go driving with me, hes always been self centered but now its like im just a place to live. am i losing my faith in love?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 March 2011):
 Yes it does sound like you are losing all faith in this relationship, and who can blame you? A relationship takes two people in order for it to work out, and he is not showing like he wants things to work out. He avoids serious conversations so that he doesnt need to hear about it and he doesnt do anything romantic. Its as if there has been a huge breakdown in communication and he doesnt take the time to ask you how you are feeling or what you want. Its like you are more room mates than partners. I think you know the answer though. You are not happy so why keep torchering yourself? He is not going to change unless he realises what he has. I think the best thing to do is tell him exactly how you feel and tell him that you need a break to see how things go. Leave for a month and see how he copes being on his own. Hopefully he will realise what a fool he has been and work hard on getting you back. Goodluck Sweetie.
A
female
reader, zfteen  +, writes (6 March 2011):
do more exciting things .. be more lively and let him feel you're always there and just change !!and you'll find a huge diffrence but if he didn't change then talk to him tell him how you feelask him if he still loves you as before i'm sorry but i have to say that if you're the one paying for the apartment or paying for food or anything i guess you're beening cheated that's IF and if you don't he might feels bored i'm not saying you're boring but i mean that it could be his personality the one gets bored fast ,, or anything if i were you i would just tell him frankly how i feeland i would give him 2 choices "either he changes or we break up "but first of all YOU MUST CHANGE FIRST
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A
female
reader, Aunty Honest  +, writes (6 March 2011):
 No, I don't think you're losing your faith in love-I think you're (quite rightly) losing your faith in him! Painful as it is, it sounds like you're not going to get what you need from this man. That doesn't make you bad or selfish or cynical about love, you have to take care of yourself-because he isn't. I think you need to break away from this before it ruins your life and your self-asteem. It sounds like you're a great girlfriend who someone out there might really appreciate! If leaving him just doesn't feel like an option-try at least staying somewhere else for a while. Going to stay with a friend. Left to his own devices he might realise what he's missing, if he doesn't then better to find out now. When relationships go wrong-we often feel like romance is dead and lose our faith in love. But just imagine for a minute that you've just started seeing someone. They're interested in you, and they're taking you out, spoiling you a bit, you think you'd be cynical? Or do you think you'd love it? I think it'd be exactly what you need!. Hope that helps and things get better soon.
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