A
female
age
36-40,
*upercnfsd
writes:Hi,I am in love with my best friend whom I have know for like over 4 years. We were attracted to each other 4 yrs ago but nothing ever happened. Then we started seeing other people. I broke up with my guy a year ago and he has been having issues with his girl friend for quite smetime... mainly revovling around me. I and him are extremely close and alwys have been. She used to crib too much abt our closeness and abt everything including his family. She has even created a lot of drama. But abt 6-7 months ago, we ended up getting into a physically intimate relationship with each other and he broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years. All of his family knows about them and there were suppose to get married but didn't cos he wasn't sure. After a couple of months he got back with her. I tried maintaining distance but then we started fooling around cos he broke up with her again !!! Now he tells me that he is getting back with her for the 2nd time and this time he wants to make it work. He wil spend as much time as he possibly can with her and make sure she is happy. He admitted that he is not in love with her anymore, and he has also told me that he wished we had fallen for each other 4 years ago wen both of were single. I still don't believe that things will work out between the 2 of them. And I think he is jst hiding it from me so that I dont get my hopes high. Knowing the kind of person he is, i know that he wil be with her and get married even if he is unhappy cos he wil not go against his parents. but what do i ? do i stop talking to him? shud i continue being his best friend and act like all of this doesnt affect me? cos honestly, i am completely broken and i want him back. Cos we get along so well and I knw we wil be happy together... pls help
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (8 March 2011):
Well, that's great. You did the right thing. Or at least the thing than will probably throw the best results out of this.
Now you have to focus on meeting new guys and, in the near future, start dating again. You will be able to find someone who will choose you over other things.
A
female
reader, supercnfsd +, writes (8 March 2011):
supercnfsd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyone.. thank you so much for replying and answering my question. I spoke to him 2 days ago and told him that I need some space and distance from him cos this is all too much to take in. He has already made his decision and I need to make mine as well. I asked him not to contact me or text me anymore. He had sent me a kiss and good morning text so I asked him not to do such things anymore. He is refraining from that now and I am trying my best to keep my emotions in check and not contact him. We meet everysingle day cos we work together so it gets really difficult but I am doing everything I can to keep myself from talking to him. It just seems like he is happy and content, which makes me realize that I did the right thing. Atleast now, i don't feel guilty any more and can breathe without having to think that I am bending my principles. Its sooo difficult and I just hope I get through this and find some one who truely appreciates having me in his life. I will keep yous guys posted though. Thank you so much once again. Your answers have given me immense strength.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (6 March 2011):
 ......"I knw we will be happy together..." Sorry, but the fact is you THINK you'll be happy together; you WANT to be happy together, but there's just one small problem.
He has made his choice - twice. I do realize that's not at all easy to accept, but you need to come to terms with it.
Let him go; he WAS your best friend, he cannot be that any longer......
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): It sounds like he is feeding you lines and you are eating them up and he knows precisely what you want to hear. A few years from now you will look back at this with more mature eyes and won't be blind to the wool he is pulling over your eyes.
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A
male
reader, Capri2 +, writes (6 March 2011):
Yet when everything else seems to be right. This guy is not ready to do what it takes to be happy, according to you. So, is he the right one anyway? I guess he isn't. For some reason he keeps trying over what seems to be a broken relationship. And he knows he could be with you. It doesn't matter if he's doing it for his parents sake. You should move on.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (6 March 2011):
 He doesn't have to go back to her, and yet he does. He must want to. I suspect that you are getting one side of the story - you recognize that he has an intimate relationship with her too, and just imagine what he says to her when they're in private.I'm sure he does wish that the timing was right for you guys, but it wasn't and he found someone else who he wants to make it work with. I think you should probably cut things off with him and leave him be, so that he has at least a chance of making it work with this girl without distraction. I think you should begin moving on and find someone available who can give you 100%. I don't think you should stay around pretending, you will only get more and more hurt and he will only have a more difficult time getting his relationship back to being solid.I'd move on. Sorry, sweet! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, TrustInYou +, writes (6 March 2011):
 Dear Supercnfsd, I've given a lot of thought to your story. I'd have to say that if I were in your position, I would let them get married. He may like you, but he wants to marry that other girl. Please, just don't interfere with their relationship. You haven't so far. Lets keep it that way. ~Tried to help, TrustInYou
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