A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Happy New Year by the way!So, when I have sex with my girlfriend, first I pleasure her for about 7 minutes until she finishes, then we have sex and I last for about 1 minute on a good night.Now, once I kept "doing it" for a while after I was "done", but she did'nt like it and said later "Girls do'nt like it when guys last long, they get sore and it hurts down there". Now this got me wondering; She is the only person I have ever slept with, so I have no personal expertise, but from what I hear all over the media, men are supposed to last long so I keep getting mixed signals!Now is it true what she says, or am I just doing it wrong? Or is it perhaps she who is different from others? Please help! I want to please her as good as I can and I would like our sex to last longer than 15 minutes!
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male
reader, foolishsage  +, writes (5 January 2011):
 My personal experience is that it varies from one individual to another. One woman that I had been with for a very long time would have difficulty past 20-30 min of traditional intercourse as well. She just went dry, but there are plenty of things that can be done if it's putting a strain on the relationship and you really want to go for marathons.
Stimulating other areas, take the time to play more with the breasts, the ears, the neck, deep kissing - teasing the clitoral area rather than the internal area - if that doesn't biologically get her aroused adequately to be able to/ want to keep going, it should at least do it emotionally and you can use a quality lube product from there or she could help you finish orally or any other number of different ways.
If sex is an important part of the relationship, then it needs to be satisfying for both if the relationship is going to work.
A
male
reader, CrazyCowboy +, writes (5 January 2011):
 PINKTOPAZ knows her stuff but it says that you are 16-17 so your girl is probably rather new to the sex seen as well. There are 3 things you must consider, First: that she's new to sex and isn't used to being poked with a penis. Second: she might just get uncomfortable after awhile, some girls just do. Third: You are blessed with the SUPERSTIFFY. In any case it sounds like everything is fine because you say you only last one minute and she says she dont want it any longer than that. Most men dream of such relationships!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): Well, we all have different preferences. If she's already come then it seems like she's satisfied with that!
I personally would be incredibly disappointed with 1 minute of sex. But if you can trust your girlfriend to be honest with you, then believe her!
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A
male
reader, GodJudgesAll +, writes (2 January 2011):
I think that the only reason she gets hurt it's probably because she get's dried down there. Do some foreplay and while doing intercourse try doing things that keep her wet. It could simply be talking into her ear and telling her how much you love being in her, you know things like that. Play with her and have fun doing it. You should talk to her though to improve experience.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): I noticed the same thing! The media tends to pay way too much attention to issues surrounding the penis. There used to be just PE for "premature ejaculation". Now there is ED for "erectile dysfunction"..which I can guess I can sympathize with. But I recently discovered there is now DE for men who feel they have a "delayed ejaculation" problem. I think it's a bit ridiculous.
There is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with your girlfriend either. She just happens to like oral sex exclusively. Some men are like that as well. What you may have is a compatibility issue.
I do prefer penetrative sex and I fully appreciate DE. If you use lubricant, she shouldn't get sore.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 Get some bubble gum and chew on it. Okay, now take three pieces and chew on it for 15 minutes. Still fun?
I am afraid that sex isn't about setting records. It is about having fun and doing ANYTHING for to long just ain't fun. Not all women are the same but porn style marathon banging isn't what the women I been with seemed to want.
Try focussing more on what you and she are feeling and less on the clock. Both of you will enjoy it more.
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 Look, i dont think i've really been useful, so i'm going to give you the oy right answer, and yes, it has been said before, but if I reiterate, it will increase the chances of you having a "oh, that makes sense" moment.
Your girlfriend is wrong in saying all girls don't like it when guys last long. That is a generalisation with no legitimate premesis.
What is true is that she doesn't like it, in which case, just make sex sessions with her shorter. Simple.
However, with future girlfriends, don't assume the same rule applies.
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A
female
reader, Fabulosa +, writes (2 January 2011):
 Girl CAN get sore! Every girl is different thought. It depends on how sencitive she is down there and how big you are.... but don't forget you can always have a round two.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 You're doing right by going in with your tongue first BUT 1 minute ISN'T much time. She's being nice. Have more sex more often and you'll get over the problem.
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A
female
reader, wordwhale +, writes (2 January 2011):
Don't listen to these people. I'm like your girlfriend. It really, really hurts if my fiance goes a long time. I get really irritated down there and am more likely to get a yeast infection or a urinary tract infection, which just starts a really bad cycle of painful sex. I can also orgasm really quickly, so maybe that's what's going with her. There are lots of women who don't like it when men last a long time. It's very frustrating because it hurts and takes the pleasure out of sex. Listen to your girlfriend. If she says it hurts, it hurts!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): Everyones different, but that's not the norm I wouldn't think.
Why would you not want sex to last for ages? Crazy Hahah.
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A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 It doesnt matter what the media says.do whats best for your gf.as long as you get satisfied.goodluck
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A
male
reader, Zorro19 +, writes (2 January 2011):
It's different for all girls. Some dont like it long, or maybe your doing it rough; jackhammer is not the way to go. Find out what pleases her and do that. Personally, I havn't met a girl that would say that. Communicate with your girl and do what pleases her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): No, what she has said is not true of all girls.I would be exceedingly disappointed if foreplay (jointly dispensed) lasted less than 30 minutes. Then there is the next stage: Most times i would be disappointed if the penetrative sex lasted less than 20 minutes. And would always prefer longer. Just 20 minutes would be a 'quickie' in my book.Besides penerative sex I also love fellatio.Sometimes I slow it down as much as I can with fellatio as I don't want him to come too soon. Often when he thinks he is 'done' I will ask if I can kiss his member (i don't haveto ask, it's a courtesy, which he loves toagree to) - so I start kissing his member, all over, as a thank you for all the pleasure he has given me, and most times it ends in one more gentler session before we finally feel 'good'
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (2 January 2011):
Personally, I feel the same way. There is such a thing as lasting too long. Do women want it to be over with in 30 seconds? No! That's just as bad and probably worse. BUT the marathon guy that keeps going...and going...and going becomes boring and it does start to hurt and that's IF she still hasn't orgasmed after several minutes and knows she's probably not going to OR if she's already had an orgasm and just wants it to be over with. So you kind of have to find that happy medium where you're still stimulating her and trying to get her to orgasm and not just pounding the crap out of her for half an hour and hoping for the best.
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A
female
reader, Weird_Chick +, writes (2 January 2011):
 no, it doesnt get sore at all, specially not after only 15 minutes! maybe she is just telling you that cuz you have already satisfied her and shes not in that mood anymore, it always lasts more that that for me and my fiance, and the longer he goes the better it feels, it doesnt start to get sore, the only time it hurts some is when he first goes in cuz his dick is huge but other than that, no it doesnt. maybe try not making her cum, maybe just idk turn her on and then have sex with her, dont pleasure her first and see if that changes the situation any. hope this helps
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (2 January 2011):
The only thing that matters is what's good for her. Yes, girls can get sore if you go on too long. Do what's good for her, and enjoy.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 January 2011):
 Well if she's already orgasmed then I'd imagine it wouldn't feel great if you just kept going, especially if you'd already finished. If you're wearing a condom, semen can leak out the bottom if you keep going so it's dangerous. If she's on the pill or some other hormonal method, semen can feel very chafey/unpleasant. Different girls like different things, so whatever the media says isn't relevant. If she doesn't like you to keep going, try giving her an orgasm after you've had yours. Give her foreplay/touch each other for a long time before you try penetrative sex. Also take breaks during penetrative sex to do oral or anything with hands instead of racing to the finish.
You should talk to her about it and figure out what she likes/where she'd like to improve. We can't know for sure! Communication is the single most important aspect of having a good sex life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): Well...I am a bit older..in my 30's, but I appreciate a man who lasts longer than a minute! My husband lasts about 40 minutes on average.....I love it! Maybe the problem is two fold. First.....try making foreplay last longer. Hugging, kissing, touching, rubbing....dance with her, give her a massage, kiss her all over her body. Then start making love. Then stop....and pleasure her for awhile....but don't make her cum right away. then make love to her some more. GO SLOW SO YOU WON'T CUM and for heavens sake...wear a condom!!!!! Make sure she is wet enough....use lubercation...if she is dry she can get sore. Then make her cum and then you can cum too. Spend more time making it a love making session, not just sex. Another thing you can do is ask her what she wants you to do for her. What she would like....what she needs. Communication is key!
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888 +, writes (2 January 2011):
Really?!?
Can I be the first to tell you, if that's truly how she feels, your girlfriend is a keeper!
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A
female
reader, Krazybihh +, writes (2 January 2011):
My ex lasts for a really long time and that is what mainly ended our relationship. It's really not fun when a guy lasts to long. It does hurt after a while and it gets kinda old. Now some girls might not think that. Some might like when guys last longer than normal. I can say that all the girls I know would rather a guy last a couple mins then an hour.
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