A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi,i need help. my bf is jealous and controling. For over one year he is constantly finding my dating profiles and complains. He has given me an ultimatum,which i find petty. All i do is have sexy chats and send each other pics. I was going to meet a guy to have sex with so i finished with my bf. I decided to give him another chance and now he knows about the guy i was going to stop the night with. Its nothing to do with him. Shall i let him go? He`s good and i know i love him,but his controling attitude is stressing me out.
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female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (16 August 2008):
 Ha ha ha ha ha. You're funny lady.
Just remember about Karma. What goes around, comes around.
A
female
reader, Angle79  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 You'd better leave him alone for goodness sake! you are sick! Do you know this word "honesty"??? if you are a in relationship with someone, you should stay honest, if thing does work out, then leave. Don't hurt, Dont cheat! grow up lady!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Your a fuc*ing idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm sorry to be harsh, but GET A GRIP. over 30 and ur carrying on like this? ' i only have sexy chats and exchange pics' OH MY!!!! i dread to think anymore..
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A
female
reader, Sweet as Honey +, writes (5 August 2008):
 How selfish of you to even suggest that he's being petty. Give the guy a break and let him find someone he can trust. Poor bloke.
I guess you will have gathered by now from everyone's answers, that you shouldn't be with him anymore.
I honestly would have expected this 'carry on' to have been posted by a teenager, not a 30+ woman!
Do the right thing, and don't hurt him anymore, that's if you do have any feelings for him.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (5 August 2008):
 If this wasn't a wind up, i would say leave him and move on for his sake.
c xxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): I bet unhappiness isn't the only thing you'll be spreading around. Women like you give women in general a bad name.
You're having a laugh though, surely?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Yes i do think you should end it with him. Its wrong to have sexy chats and send pictures to random people online, while having a Boyfriend, let alone actually meet up with someone from them, and dump your bf. For a one night thing and then 'give him another chance' i dont know why you have a bf if your doing this to him but please end it with him so he can live his life without you!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): This is uncanny,i could believe its my own ex who has written this. Whoever you are. Yes let him go. Your problem will never go away otherwise.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): I don't think that there is anything wrong with a man or woman dating more than one person at a time. However, it is wrong if the people are not completely open and honest with what they are doing. My wife and I both dated 2 people at a time after each of our divorces. She did it about 2 years before she met me and I did it after I started dating her. The thing is that we both were honest with our partners and made sure that our main partner (her in my case) were comfortable with it.
The thing that is different here is that you have been dishonest with both guys. That is cheating and deserves an unhappy answer from your partner. Also, you think that you should be able to dump him if you have someone else on the hook and that he should just take ypu back after your done with screwing the other guy as if nothing had happened. It doesn't work that way most of the time. He is now trying to control you because he can't trust you. Not unusual at all.
I think it's time that the 2 of you break up and start new with other partners. It will be better for the both of you. The next time you want to be able to have a relationship with more than one person at a time, make sure that you find a person who is OK with that. They do exist. However, expect that he might want to do the same as you desire to do. That would only be fair.
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A
female
reader, tammye17 +, writes (5 August 2008):
 ur the wrong one here. if u really love someone and have a serious relationship u sholnt be chatting or planning to have sex with anyone else.its disrespecting ur partner. if u want to be a swinger then dont have relationships, sooner or later ur going to regret this when u loose that special someone, and down the road ur going to realize ur disrespecting urself. goodluck....hope u realize this
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A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (5 August 2008):
 If you're in a relationship with someone, you really shouldn't be having ANY sexy chats with ANYONE. Why do you think your boyfriend is controlling cuz he don't want you on dating sites? This just doesn't seem right. If he didn't want you to be on those and you respected him and loved him enough, you would just go with what he says. I think you should just end it with him and let him find someone that will respect him and care for him like he probably deserves.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 August 2008):
 "scabby feet"...hee hee
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Why is he still your boyfriend? Or for want of a better and more understanding answer from you, why are you two-timing him? Why are YOU stressing? Because he's complaining that you're looking to date? Checking out your dating profiles? Giving you an ultimatum? How can you find it petty of HIM??
Now normally I abhor controlling men, but in his case, he has every right to be the way he is.
You ask us if you should let him go, my answer is 'yes' you should.
Now be honest and say to yourself, "I can't really be in love with my boyfriend if I have profiles of myself plastered all over dating sites".
Here's that short poem of advice again, from me;
"It's good to be grown~up and wise,
And It's good to be honest and true,
But it's best to be off with the old love,
Before you start on with the new."
BigSis
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): You present as aged 30-35 (overage) and currently living in the UK. You break up with your very nice guy, because you think he's too controlling when he objects to you having sexy chats with other men. You dumped him because eventually you got interested in somebody else and wanted to have sex. I don't know what happened to this other guy, but obviously he had more respect for himself than your boyfriend seems to show, and he didn't touch you and contaminate himself. Because you felt lonely and bored, you decided to "forgive" your boyfriend and give him another chance.
Your boyfriend is good, you don't know the meaning of love. You madam, are a nasty peice of work, you get your kicks from hurting people and playing them for a fool. I know you won't leave your boyfriend, you need someone to worship your scabby feet. But don't worry, one day your boyfriend will see you for the bitch you are and dump you in the rubbish bin where all of the other trash live.
I hope your proud of yourself, and I hope your family and friends one day find out just what a nasty, abusive, cow you really are. Stay with your boyfriend, he knows your a sick FUCK by now, but leave the other guys alone please. A woman like you only spreads unhappiness through the world.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): you dont appear to have any respect for either your boyfriend or yourself, in a committed relationship you would not even contemplate carrying on filling in details on dating sights, your boyfriend is not controlling you he is simply asking for the respect he deserves, do him a favour and finish it for good this time he deserves better than you can offer him love, good luck with the dating im sure you will find a like minded individual looking for casual encounters also, or better still take time out on your own learn to love yourself and respect your body.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 How would you feel if he would be doing the same thing than you? Sexy chat online and stuff.
If you think it's ok that he does the same... Since he's not maybe you should find someone who would let you do it.
If you think that he shouldn't do it, maybe it's time for you to stop.
Not every body thinks the same way, doesn't mean that they're wrong.
Maybe he see it as a treat to your relationship. Maybe he loves you and doesn't want to loose you over someone you meant on the internet. Maybe he feel as if you're his little diamond and he doesn't want others to see it.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Maybe he is good, but he is not good for you and you are definitely not good for him either. I think he has every right to be upset about your online dating activities as lots of people would regard chatting up blokes online as cheating and it doesn't seem he signed up for an open relationship. Your email implies that you don't have much respect for him so what is the point of continuing? Maybe he is controlling because he is feeling deflated by the relationship. Move on, and take care with those online dates...lots of odd people hang out on those dating websites and chatrooms I suspect who cannot get relationships in the real world.
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