A
female
age
30-35,
*akel
writes:Im sleeping with a married man and Im 14 years old. Ive fallen in love with him but recently he's been really really close to his wife in front of me and i just feel jealous and guilty. help?? what should i do??
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female
reader, LaydeeOfSorrows  +, writes (9 August 2008):
 I don't understand why everyone is blaming the girl.
She is 14!!!
The married man/PEDOPHILE, probably coheresed and seduced her into it...it's called rape.
I think some of the aunts/uncles need to think about what their saying!!
This girl, the victim asked for help, not criticizm!!
I'm so sorry this happened to you, you need to contact the authority.
Even if you love him etc..He is a pedophile, and deserves to go to jail.
Good luck!
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): omg..these ppl are horrible!
you are the victim here...lay off her you scorned women.
i agree with all the ppl that said get help..tell a teacher or family member that isnt going to judge you like these supposedly adults have.
shame on all of you.
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A
female
reader, desperate_angel  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 hello sweety, your so young for this kind of relationship. well ive been in that situation recently and its true that was painful. If you know from the start that he's married and you also know his wife, then dont waste your time on him. mostly married man always come back to their legal wife especially if they have kids already (remember that). your still young and will find somebody else more deserving for your love.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Thanks Ms anonymous, and yes your perfectly right, I have been rude and I have been offensive, and I did forget that this young girl is the victim here. She has been horribly abused by a nasty, sick old man.
Hi babes, so much anger from so many people. I know you didn't expect all this anger to come at you. Most of us are adults, and we are very, very scared for you, thats why we keep shouting and telling you off. This guy your having sex with is sick, he's a pervert, he's dirty, somebody needs to be told. Adults who have sex with children have something wrong with them, they need to be reported because they like to hurt and abuse little girls. We don't want this for you, it's not fair. You should be playing with your friends, you should be laughing and hanging out with boys your own age. You should have a boyfriend that you can show off. You should be very special to a nice young guy, who makes you feel special and who treats you with kindness, love and respect. This thing he's doing to you, is so very, very wrong. If your mother knew, it would break her heart to know that somebody has treated her daughter this way. Your family would kill him, even the neighbours would spit in his face.
You need to tell somebody what has happened. You need to find an adult you trust. Ms anonymous probably has children, her heart is breaking and she is sad that we got so angry with you. She is very right, you need to tell somebody about this man. He's probably done this to other girls, and when he's finnished with you he will do this to somebody else. You need to stop this man, you need to make sure he gets punished. It's his fault why we got angry, we couldn't shout at him so we shouted at you, and for that I'm very, very sorry.
Tell your teacher, tell an aunt, tell a next door neighbour, tell a girlfriend who is sensible, tell a priest, or tell your older sister. You need to find an adult or a sensible person to help you out. We are so scared that you will get very, very hurt. Your already crying because he makes sure you see him with his wife. He's playing games, he had sex with you, and now he makes sure he sees your pain, by showing off in front of his wife. What kind of sick man is he, why dose he want to may a young girl cry.
People may get angry, but they won't say anything more than I have already said. It hurts when people are rude, but this thing with this man, he's wife, the hidden sex, surely this must hurt even more.
Anyway, here is a number for you to call. Dear cupid is not the place for you to get help with your problem. These people are nice, they won't shout, they won't tell you off, they will understand. They will explain everything and give you tons of advice and support.
Childline is a UK charity that can provide support on the telephone for all kinds of problems that children and teenagers face, so please give them a call. ChildLine on 0800 1111. www.childline.org.uk
Please babes,contact childline and tell them what you told us. You need some help, the things this man does to you is very, very wrong. Call these people today, they are much nicer than we have been. Things could go very badly wrong and you will get very hurt, and find yourself in a whole pile of trouble. Call childline and see what they can do to help you. Please stay away from this man. He is no good. Big hugs, and blessings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): stop having contact with this guy! he is using you and believe it or not, this is actually rape. You are too young to give concent to sex with an adult man. please ignore all these hateful answers from some of the previous posters. You need to get yourself out of this situation and tell a teacher, parent or adult you trust!
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (5 August 2008):
 You'll get no sympathy from me either
You wanted to act big and now you know
Stop being a stupid kid and grow up, knock of the games
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): please don't listen to the nasty posts on here, they are being rude and I think they forgot that you are only 14.
What you need to do is tell an adult what is going on. Have no contact with this man. Ever! Tell a parent, a teacher, any one who can help you. What he is doing is wrong and even if you stop having sex with him, he may do this to some other underage girl.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): You present as aged 14 (underage) and currently living in the UK. You decided to sleep with a man, even though you know it's illegal. You decided to take of your clothes and have sex with him, even though he is married to a woman who loves him very much. Now you feel guilty and jealous, well good for you. Who cares about how you feel. You don't care about his wife, so why should anybody care about you and your feelings. You wanted to have sex and you did. You think that this man cares about you, of course he dosen't you stupid girl. He married his wife, she gets his kisses, she gets to hold him at night. Your the dirty secret in the background. Nobody knows about you. He can't hold your hand, he can't take you out, you can't tell anybody your having sex. He's not your boyfriend, he's not your friend. Your just the little stupid schoolgirl he has sex with before he goes home to his wife.
You think your mature enough to have sex. No your not, because if you were you wouldn't be having sex with a married man. I feel very sorry for you. It must hurt having somebody use you as a sex toy. Stop having sex with this man, he has no respect for you, he's using your body for sex. When he leaves you, I bet he dosen't think about you at all. It's his wife he loves, it's his wife that he cares about and loves. You should stop having sex with anybody, your too young, you don't even know when your being used and abused by a man who is a pervert who likes having sex with little girls.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (5 August 2008):
 At 14 you might think it is terribly mature to have had any relationship with an older man but when you are older you will understand this situation for what it is...terribly, terribly sad. Even if you were older I would tell you to run away from him because he is a cheat, he cheats on his wife, he would cheat on you if you were married to him. However, this situation is more sinister because this man is a child protection risk. I understand that you don't wish to be called a child, but from a legal perspective that is what you are. If this man sleeps with you, he is willing to have sex with other adolescents. I feel sorry for his wife as it is a lot to cope with. My advice to you would be to tell someone you are close to - a teacher, older sibling. I suspect your own family life isnt the best in the world, because if it were then you would have the self esteem not to be sleeping with older, married men who offer you nothing emotionally? You need to show personal strength of character well beyond your years here and walk away from being abused - it is child abuse. You need to tell someone in authority to stop him exploiting other young women.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Sorry no sympathy from me either. You are making a fool of yourself and he is a cheater! Have you even considered how his wife would feel if she found out? He is not really interested in you, he's just getting free sex!
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 i agree with eyeswideopen. grow up and cop on. how the hell do you think she would feel if she knew her husband was committing statutory rape? you need to get some sense and stop this stupid behaviour. you are not the only one to get hurt here. and my guess is her feelings are alot stronger and run deeper than the 14 year old who is sleeping with her husband. stop feeling sorry for yourself. this man should be put behind bars.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): How old is this man?!What he's doing with you is against the law - theres another two years until your even legal to have sex! You need to end it here!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): What you should do is learn from this mistake. Underage sex is bad enough - sorry to moralise - but with a MARRIED MAN? You really are asking for - and getting - enormous heartache. End it immediately for the longer you leave it, the more and bigger trouble you will land yourself in.Take care.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Knock off this nonsense and grow up, that's what you should do.
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