A
female
age
36-40,
*upidLover
writes:Hi all,I'm going to make this a brief question,but I really hope you guys can give me some helpful advice.My ex and I broke up last friday night after a bad argument and he sorta lives about an hour away from town. I'm so angry inside because I sacrificed a lot with having to deal with him living in another town,and his over obsessive controlling mother. We've been together with a few on and offs since 2009. In my heart I believe that we fit so well together,but I guess external factors just really affected us. A part of me really want to take revenge on him for making me feel this way. Help!
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 Thank you for the follow up!
A
female
reader, CupidLover +, writes (27 April 2011):
CupidLover is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all for your advice, its been two and a half months now, and I feel more confident and ive had more time to work out and focus on my studies,and ill be graduating in june.
It turns out,the reason why there was so much tension between us is because the tension was coming from him. We spoke and it turns out his parents are having a divorce and he was sorry he never opened up to me (which was cause for the arguments and tension between us) about it, but i told him i still loved him and he told me he did aswell and that we still cared for each other and would be there for each other, and then parted our ways..as Eilish said: if its meant to be,it'll get sorted out on its own,and thats all im leaving it up to,im not counting on it,but my life goes on :) thanks yall!
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A
female
reader, RealGirlNextDoor  +, writes (17 February 2011):
Revenge will not get you anywhere, actually it's the total opposite. Revenge is like eating a tub of ice-cream when you're upset, sure it makes you feel good whilst you're eating it but afterwards it'll just make you feel shit and guilty. Also, what you've put into a relashionship is your choice, no-one is obligated to put a certain ammount in, or to make certain choices and sacrifices. I for one have felt the same way as you do now, I was in the same sor of situation but you know, I just had to learn to not look back on what you've put into the relashonship and regret it, but to feel good about the hard work you put in.
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A
female
reader, Eilish  +, writes (17 February 2011):
 Two wrongs don't make a right. Getting revenge will only make it worse. Let it go, if you two are meant to be together things will sort itself out. But revenge is out of the question, if you care that much about him it's not right making him hate you, you'll get nowhere and might lose him for good. xxx
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A
female
reader, altered +, writes (17 February 2011):
Dirtball's advice is spot on. But if you are still determined to hold on to it, please read belowsuppose this:"We've been together with a few on and offs since 2009"led to you two being "on" yet again in the near future?If you do something drastic such as seeking revenge, then you will never have the chance to know if this:"In my heart I believe that we fit so well together"will ever come to pass.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): hi, i understand that your angry, but you shouldnt take it out on him, it takes two to make a relationship and at the end of the day, trying to "get your own back" will not resolve the situation. it is hard to get over a break up straight away, but if you have broken up, dont let him now that it has hurt you, try your best to get over him and move on, go out with your friends or go away for a few days, try to clear your mind of him, this will be a sortof revenge, because i am sure he will be thinking about you even more if you act as if you dont care about him, this will irritate him..i think! i know a break up is hard, but there is plenty more fish in the sea!
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A
female
reader, Betherly +, writes (17 February 2011):
It seems that you still have feelings for him, to be honest taking revenge will make you feel better internaly but not help the relationship. If you really do like him tell him how you feel and get back together but if you did fit well together you wouldn't be always argueng and you wouldn't have broken up..on the other hand i think you should just move on. Pull your socks up and forget about him, punch a pillow, or burn all your photos together as revenge, start a new life and leave the bad memories behind you.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (17 February 2011):
What would revenge accomplish? It might make you feel better temporarilly, but in the long run you'll feel worse, and be a worse person for it.
You may feel like you fit, but if you really fit, you wouldn't be broken up. That's the truth. Time to mourn the dead relationship and move on.
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