A
female
age
26-29,
*anana
writes:ok im 13 and i wanna hav sex i already told ma mom to put me on the pill. she already made the appointment. i wanna have a baby wat do i do. i raised ma little brother all by myself and i loved it i want to do it again but with ma own baby.
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male
reader, harleybear +, writes (6 July 2010):
Um, in my opinion, it's not a good idea to have a baby - at least at a younger age (say, 18 or younger). They are expensive, along with the fact that whoever you have the baby with will carry themselves with the child. What I mean, is the behavior and attitude (genes/traits) will be with the child. So, if you have sex with someone that has bad characteristics, your child will have that, too. Do you want that? You must not rush into it. I'm 25 and I don't have a kid. I'm planning to find someone special and if things go well, then great. I wouldn't mind having a kid, but I want to have one with a woman that is a great person, so that we both can make "great" kids!!! Hopefully this makes sense.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): All opinions aside let me tell you about having babies when your young, the facts:
-premature baby
-the baby's father usually doesn't stay
-living in poverty for years
-an unfinished education
I can not say what you should do but now I will give you my opinion. I had a baby at 16 and it was so hard for me, I wanted it as well. I struggled to finish school, I put my parents in debt. The father of my child ran off and got another girl pregnant. Not to mention how much I have changed from 16 to now. I love being a mother but I can't go out with my fiends hardly ever. Your life will evolve around your baby. I have no job because I can not afford childcare and I live off government still. I know you "want" a baby but there is so much more to raising a child than just taking care of one like a sitter. It's so expensive and a baby demands attention all the time. Don't you want your child to have everything it deserves? Please wait, I wish I would have, and although I love my little girl I wish I would have waited to find the right guy and finish college. Only you can choose but think about all the baggage that comes with raising a child. Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, kody08 +, writes (14 October 2008):
Wow Darlin,
Im not telling you that this is not what you want but what i am telling you is that i am young also i got pregnant at 17 and am 9 months pregnant right now and it is a huge responsability, your education and a successful job need to come before children if you want the best for yourself and for the baby, trust me i have always wanted a baby every since the word sex was ever really entered in my head but i knew that i had to atleast wait long enough to know that i could financially support myself and the child. Being all you can be is the most wonderful thing you can do for yourself and for you kids in the future, so im just saying that no matter how bad you want a baby you need to do some futher things in your life to make sure that the rest of yours and your childs is the best it can be
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A
female
reader, leanne _a  +, writes (5 October 2008):
 Hiya hun i remember being your age and i wanted a baby am pregnant now but i tell you one thing darling theres nothing better than being able to go out and spend a lot of money on baby clothes theres nothing better than picking a pram and thinking al get that to go and the cot and everything eles With you being so young it would be hard you get more joy out of being able to spend the money which i def did not have at your age now and think i can give my baby the best which it deserves and you need to think about you !! ur still young age does not mean much these days but when you have a little baby and your so skint you or your baby would have to go without Trust me am still really young and am not rich but i look back and think thank god i did not have a kid i would not have been able to buy it nothing whhich i have got for this baby now and it makes it all better when you have that special person to share it with !
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A
female
reader, anon642 +, writes (5 October 2008):
 Okay first of all i think the only reason your mum has agreed to make you an appointment at the doctors to go on the pill is to basically respect your wishes that you actually told her you were ready for sex as many girls just go out and have sex without their parents knowing.
However..this does not mean she agrees with you, she is your mum and only trying to support your feelings.
I am 18, live with my parents, yes i have a job BUT the thought of me having a child right now absolutely scares the hell out of me, noo way am i ready for a baby!
I have a sister who is 13 and the thought of her telling me/my mum that she is ready for sex and wants a baby actually sends chills down my back.
Like many others have already said, just because you brought your brother up does not mean you are ready for the commitment and work of having your own baby.
In today's world, if you had a baby at 13, you face the following MAJOR problems..
1) No money of your own, therefore you will be getting benefits from other people who actually go to work everyday.
2) No house of your own, therefore your basically using your mothers resources that shes currently providing you, as in food, shelter, electricity, heating, clothes etc etc.
3) A father to help you support the baby? If you can find a fellow 13/14 year old boy who is also willing to give up their childhood to give you 24/7 support for the rest of their life with bringing up another human being, then i am amazed.
4) Your own body. You are still developing, and will be for another 5 years, heck im 18 and my body is still slightly changing. If you have a baby now, you will be putting your body under extreme, horrific pressure that its just not ready for yet.
And talking of you developing, im afraid, like many others have said, your hormones are currently racing around your body.
5) Back to the job topic. When you decide to get yourself a job in a few years time to finally support yourself and the baby, you will find this difficult because hardly any employer will want to hire you because you will have had no education and therefore no experience. (like i said you cannot physically do that yourself right now, you'll be using all your mothers money and resources)
Im sorry to be a pain and a nag and a put down like everybody else but you honestly cannot physically and mentally have a baby right now.
Can i ask how old your brother is?
And also, please, read all these comments in great detail and re-think this decision!
All the best.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (5 October 2008):
 Ive got 2 you can have, theres no bids on eBay yet! lol actually they are teens but nearly as much work!
If you have raised your bro, you must remember how much work that was! I know at 13 you're not a child anymore but you're not an adult either. Babies should be bought up by adults sweetheart. Thats just the way it is, besides, you're breaking the law having sex in the first place, and the guy could get in trouble! If you're willing to take that risk on someones life, I dont believe you're ready to be a mum. And who is going to pay for this baby? You haven't got a home of your own yet either.
Have a ball first, you have loads of clubbing nights ahead of you yet. No having to organise sitters.
Then when you're 16, and can support it, no one can comment can they.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, teen000 +, writes (5 October 2008):
 Live ur life girl first! There is so much you have yet to dicover in this beautifull crazy disastrous life! 3 tc
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (5 October 2008):
 If you Really want a baby keep taking the pill. It'll help..Meantime why go through 9 months of hell? Why not adobpt one? There's plenty of unwanted kids in the world as it is. Seriously though... what have you done with your life? You've not even hit puberty yet.Try living a little before having a baby.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (5 October 2008):
 Heya sweet,
The good thing about looking after a younger brother or sister is that you can give them back to your mum once they get a bit annoying!
Having your own baby means a lot, and I mean A LOT of hard work. Waking up all night to feed the baby/change it/ cuddling till it goes back to sleep, full time looking after it, not being able to go out with friends. You will become a very lonely girl if you have a baby now. I'm sure your mother would hit the roof if you got pregnant now, wouldn't she?
A baby means full time for at least 4 years before you can send them off to school. And even then, you're looking after that child for the next 14 years! Can you imagine?
A baby should be a symbol of love from you and a loved one and having them support you. Getting pregnant so young without a father figure in it's life is the wrong way to go about it. You've probably seen girls writing on here who are your age who have had a child and they say that they're not going to say that they don't love their baby, but that they wish they'd waited longer before having a child and that they have a very difficult time looking after it alone. They can't go out and spend time with friends anymore, they have a baby to look after.
Hold on a bit longer, hun.
Think carefully about this, won't you?
Take care xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): And I don't know why I posted twice. This happens sometimes...sorry. But, listen to all the others. They have good advice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): Oh, honey, you are waaaay to young to think about having a baby of your own. You would just be asking your mom to raise another baby...for you. This is a little foolish, isn't it? You need to think about the rest of your life and what you want to do with it. Get your education first, then think about where you want to go with your life. You will think differently when you are older. I assure you, you will. Think carefully, hon. Tom
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): At 13 your hormones are racing. Your body says "sex" but your mind and heart questions it rightly. Although you did not admit to having doubts, your 13 and I doubt you have everything sorted out since most adults don't. As an adult, you will learn not to give into every urge your body has. It is called being mature.
Raising a child is much different from taking care of your little brother. It is much more than changing diapers and fixing meals. Having a child means taking full responsibility of someone's life. That responsibility means that you are responsible for the development of the person they become and who they will be. A baby is not an accessory or a puppy. It is a total life commitment and certainly one that you can't fulfill at your age.
Think of it this way...If you had a child as young as you are, what could you teach them having so few life experiences of your own? How could you encourage them without having experience of venturing out on your own? What tools could you give him/her to become strong as an adult? How could you provide for them financially having no education or profession? What if they had special needs, how could you compensate for that factor and help them?
If you want to have sex, be smart, use protection even if you are on the pill. The pill doesn't protect against STDs. Got it?!
But wait on having kids....Wait until you have completed your education and had time to find out who you are and what you want out of life. There are so many opportunities in the world, so many things to see, so many options for someone your age....Don't give it up. This right now is your opportunity to be a kid. Take it. And maybe in about 10 or so years, if you are in a comfortable spot in life and have accomplished what you wanted to as a independent person, explore the subject of having a child again.
For now...proceed life with a little more caution.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): Oh, honey, you are waaaay to young to think about having a baby of your own. You would just be asking your mom to raise another baby...for you. This is a little foolish, isn't it? You need to think about the rest of your life and what you want to do with it. Get your education first, then think about where you want to go with your life. You will think differently when you are older. I assure you, you will. Think carefully, hon. Tom
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A
male
reader, Burns231 +, writes (5 October 2008):
I personally would say wait till your done with school and then do that. Your too young for that right now at age 13 and still in school. I know a few mothers who are still in high school and they wish they could wait till later in life to be a mother. Get priorities straight and then decide if your ready for that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): You are way too young to be having a baby or sex. And your mom is actually encouraging you to get on the pill. Do you have a job? who will take care of this baby as far as getting clothes, food etc.? What about school? And who is the father going to be? another 13 year old that does not have a job either?That probably will tell you he will be there for you and the baby then bail out? You are toooooooo young. And if you do end up having a baby, you will regret it in the long run and wish you waited. There is more about having a baby then the baby shower, and them being so cute and little. They are humans and will get older. YOu have so much time to have a baby, whats the rush? I honestly, like anyone else on here will tell you, think you should wait. Your a baby yourself.And if you are hanging around people that may be pressuring you into this, it's time to find some new friends...
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A
female
reader, 13AF +, writes (5 October 2008):
I hate to be this blunt but, honey, you're too young! Learn, live, love. As you grow older and gain life experience it will make you that much better of a mother. When the time is right in your life and you can support a baby, be in a committed relationship and talk it over with your significant other. Don't jump to rash conclusions.
Love and Luck!
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