A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:Please help me everyone. I'm so upset.Since mine and my girlfriends break up almost 3 weeks ago, I find that I'm waking up in the morning miserable, and I don't know how to help it.This is starting to seem like depression, but I don't want to go as far as to call it that. I'm not miserable all the time, but I used to love waking up safe in the knowledge that the girl I loved was atleast in my heart despite the long distance, but now I have to wake up knowing that she isn't and it instantly makes me sad.It feels terrible, please help!
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 I went through a devastating breakup at about your age, and those mornings felt as bad as you described. But I made a mistake that prolonged the grieving process - I isolated myself and started to turn away from my support system. Big mistake!
You sound like the type of person who could cultivate a support system. If you have one now, lean on it. If you don't, keep coming here until you have created one in the real world.
Take it one day at a time. Good luck and take care.
A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (15 July 2007):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the question A whole hearted thank-you to everyone who has attempted to help me through this tough time.
In direction to the poster "Jonty", I sent you a message. Check your inbox.
In direction to "kristinakutie", just a thank-you for your advice (both times, lol). I see that you really tried to get the point across that it may take me sometime. It's a sad truth, but one I have to accept. I will definately try to take your advice on board. Also, thank-you for calling me sweet. lol. Sometimes I think, for a bloke, I'm too sweet for my own good.
To "O Connor", me and my girlfriend had coped with the long distance relationship for just over 2 years, meeting up 13 times within 22 months. So, this isn't just some little thing that didn't last long, we put shame to those who doubted us to begin with, unfortunately in the long run, the doubters were right about us lasting.
For "LynstHolin", The sadness only lasts from when I wake up, usually through to about the end of the morning. And even from there, it is always running over in the back of my mind. I shouldn't expect it will ever get to the point where I hurt myself, because I'm just not that way inclined, but I thank-you for your concern.
For the anonymous poster, I would just like to thank for him suggestions, the gym does sound like a decent thing to focus on. It will certainly only lead to good things from a personal perspective!
I think that's everyone accounted for. Anymore people out there that can lend their opinion will also be greatly appreciated.
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A
female
reader, kristinakutie  +, writes (15 July 2007):
 well, i think that i already answered this, but its not showing so i'm going to answer it again.. i just want to say that i know exactly what you are going thru.. you seem like an incredibley sweet guy.. and you seem to be sensitive too.. and thats nice.. but i honestly dont know how to make you feel better, other than maybe you need to just jump up in the mornings and keep yourself busy, from the second you wake up to the second you are ready for bed.. i also just got out of a lond distance relationship, and i turely realize now how much i love him.. and i miss him like crazy, but you just cant help how your heart feels.. or how their heart feels.. all i can say to you is that there really isnt anything that anyone can do to help you and make you feel better.. maybe you could just try talking to someone.. or maybe even try talking to her.. and tell her how you feel, and maybe you 2 could work something out.. well, good luck.. and i hope i helped you out a bit..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): Hey mate, my girlfriend left me last week after a 13 month relationship. Ive been waking up early everyday and feeling very low indeed and im not eating, your not alone! a few things have helped me recently. I have been going to the gym a few times a week which helps relieve the tension and stress, ive spoken to friends and family and heard the things i never used to see in my relationship. If you continue to feel low seek a counsellor, after only two sessions in a previous relationship i found a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there mate....you will look back one day and ask yourself why you felt the way you do now.
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A
female
reader, LynstHolin +, writes (15 July 2007):
The loss of a relationship can feel like a death--you may just be grieving. 3 weeks isn't excessive.
Is the sadness just when you get up, or all day long? If it's just the morning, I wouldn't be too concerned. It hurts, but you'll heal. If it's all day long, it's possible you could be going into a depression. Engage in some sort of physical exertion--dance, run, whatever, just tire yourself out and get sweaty. That may help. (Really!)
If the sadness is interefering with living your life, or (heaven forbid) is leading to thoughts of hurting yourself, get medical help *immediately*. If it lasts say, 4 or 5 months, get medical help.
Just remember, it's normal to feel sad over a loss. People these days are too quick to tell others to just 'get over it'.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (15 July 2007):
 i dont think that you should worry about depression. you both broke up only 3 weeks ago and the wounds are still open. wat your going through is completely understandable and it will take time for you to get over her. how long were you seeing eachother for? why not try to take up an activity in the morning or for the day or organise to do things with friends so that you can wake up feeling a bit excited that you have something to do? it might help! but as i said it will just take time, but i promise you you will be ok, its something that everyone has to go through at some stage so your not alone in this! if you wanna talk more about this email me and id love to just talk to you if that would help! good luck babe xxx
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A
female
reader, kristinakutie +, writes (15 July 2007):
awhh you are probably one of the sweetest guys.. sorry had to get that out.. now for the answer.. ok i know that its hard to let go of someone that you love, and i know that feeling about getting up in the morning and knowing that you have some one to love... and i also know that feeling about waking up and realizing they are gone.. well the truth is, there isnt anything anyone can do to help you get rid of this feeling.. i just got out of along distance relationship to, and he was the 1st guy i had opened up to since the first guy i fell in love with... and it totally sucked that he did that, but you cant help how your heart feels... or how their's feels.. there is nothing you can do except, learn to except the fact that she is gone.. it mite be awhile, but it'll happen.. try to keep yourself busy, and when you wake up in the morning, sont give yourself time to think about her, just go like jump rite into the shower, and go down and be with your family.. something.. it'll help.. trust me.. it mite now rite away, but it will, evantually.. i think.. but just another fair warning, this could take you awhile... it happens to the best of us.. good luck and i hope that, that kind of helps you.. =]
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A
male
reader, Jonty +, writes (15 July 2007):
 I feel for you mate, we have all been there and it hurts so bad. But it just takes time for you to get over it and you will eventually meet somebody else who you can have a long lasting relationship with, who loves you just as much as you love them.
Don't beat yourself up over it not working, I think a lot of relationships that start with both partners so young, tend to not go the distance.
To help with you waking up depressed each morning, try to keep yourself occupied and not dwell on the break up. Have faith that things will work out for the best. You have your whole life ahead of you and you have much to look forward to.
Head up and smile, I dont want to sound patronising. I have recently split up with my girlfriend, who I was dating for 3 and a half years and the advice I have given you is the way in which I deal with it.
I hope this helps, feel free to come back to me if you have any more concerns.
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