A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles. Okay i've been here before, asking a few questions, and i got wonderful and useful feedback. So now i'm back...same guy...different situation. Okay, so today, i wanted to take him, well the both of us to the clinic because something unusual with his private area was popping up. Remind you, i always shave my pubic hairs and this never happen with him before. Okay so we had sex a few days ago and there was like a welp on his thingy and a lil bump. He said it's from my pubic hairs but that never popped up before. So i took us to the clinic, without him knowing, so when we go there he gets mad and jumps out the car saying i'm crazy and he don't ever wanna be with me anymore...blazae blazae. Remind you, this is the same guy that cheated on me 5 times, disrespects me, lies to me constantly and we be fighting. Also, i took him back recently after being told that he was at the fair with another female but he breaks up with me all because i took him to the clinic and i also heard he was having sex with other females so i wanted to know. No i don't trust him at all but i still manage to be with him because of love and i feel like i can't find anybody better so i'm use to the less things. So, am i wrong for taking both of us to the clinic, with him not knowing, unexpectedly? I feel so stupid now because i went over his house trying to talk to him about it again and he was like he don't wanna talk to me and he don't care and he need some time to think about this. LIke i just don't understand. After all the bs he put me thru and all the times he cheated and disrespects me and lies to me, i get thrown out like this. I feel like i'm wrong but then again i have every right tho...right? It's so hard because he makes it seems so obvious that he has been doing something with someone else. Please help me!
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cheated on me, pubic hair Reply to this Question
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male
reader, unclezak  +, writes (27 October 2011):
Get off here and go break the hell up with him.
A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (27 October 2011):
 I am sorry to be a little harsh but the problem here is not the guy....ITS YOU. The reason I say this is that you know that he cheats, disrespects you, lies to you and its you running to HIS house to ask him to forgive you for taking him to a doctor???? Honey...whats up with that?
Also it seems to me that you don't think this guy is really smart... coz why would you drive to a clinic and expect him to just say...Yeah ok..lets go check the knob on my privates?? This relationship seems to be past its sell-by date. Its best left alone hun... start afresh with someone else... and for your health ... YOu should get check out to make sure he didn't give you something from his cheating. Sorry again for being harsh... x
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 October 2011):
 ..The real question is, what were you still doing with a guy who had cheated on you 5 times?? You should not have taken him to a clinic, but directly to the garbage dumpster.
Anyway, yes, you were wrong for " kidnapping " and taking him to the clinic without him knowing, nobody likes to be ambushed , nobody likes to be tricked and treated like a 3 years old. Anybody would have got mad, I think. That he did you wrong before it does not particularly matter, two wrongs don't make a right.
Regardless of that, hallelujah. You can't see it this way right now, but that's great news, if that trip to the clinic was what it took to rid you off of this douchebag,
hooray for the trip to the clinic.
You can do MUCH better than a serial cheater who was potentially very dangerous for your health ( never mind your self esteem ).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): yes it's wrong to just spring something like that on someone. it's disrespectful. you basically lied to him by not telling him where you were taking him.
but he's treated you badly too, a lot. so here you have this very unhealthy relationship where you're both treating each other badly, him more so towards you.
you say you don't trust him and rightly so. Yet you say you still "manage to be with him." OK this is wrong thinking. what do you mean 'manage' to be with someone, as if it's a chore that you have no choice about like paying bills? if you hate being with him so much , and I don't blame you for that after all he's done to you, then you should leave him. it makes no sense to hate someone and yet force yourself to be with them.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 October 2011):
Hi there. It would be better to have no-one at all, than have someone whom you do not trust, and who has also cheated on you a few times in the past, don't you think?Don't you believe you deserve better than this? Of course you do.You keep taking him back, and he keeps doing the wrong thing by you.You are worthy of a lot more than this, surely.You deserve to be with someone who loves only you, who treats you with respect and dignity - every day of your life.You can do much better than being with this man.If you stay with him, all you are doing is settling.Don't settle for second best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): Ok he put you through hell and that is somthing he shouldn't have done, but that does not give you a right to force him to go to a clinic at all, he is not a child and his ego has been bruised.If my boyfriend tried to force me to go to a clinic or doctor about something so personal before I was ready I would dump him too. He is probably very worried and embarrassed and although he does need to get it checked he has to do it in his own time and on his terms. This is not about what he has done to you in the past, it's about his health and he is the only onw who has the right to decide when and if anyone checks out whatever health issues he has. You were wrong, you had NO right to try to force him to go to the clinic. I understand that you don't trust him, so don't be with him, you do deserve better than to be treated the way he has treated you in the past, but this isn't about that, it's about health, and only he can decide when to get it checked out. I am sorry if this seems harsh, but I say things how I see them. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, misztoria +, writes (27 October 2011):
 You should have told him that you were taking him to the clinic. I think anyone would react the way he did in that situation.
On the other hand, he did cheat on you 5 times and if that were me I'd leave. My son's father cheated on me once and that's all it took for me to leave him, and we have a beautiful child together, but there's no excuse for cheating.
You CAN find someone better. I told myself for four years that I wouldn't be able to find anyone better and I have so you should move on from him. Move on by talking to new people, find hobbies, anything but go back out with him because he's obviously not worth it and I don't know one person who would say he was worth it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): I don't want to appear harsh here but what I have just got to say it. You gotta "grow" some ovaries and leave that guy. He cheats on you several times, has strange bumps appear on his penis, freaks out at the very mention of a sexual health check up...are warning bells not ringing in your head right now!? To top it all off you mention you've broken up with him several times before. Newsflash baby, people in love don't break up with each other. Happy couples don't break up - period. It's called a break-up because it's broken and I think you know that.You are being walked over by an absolute bastard - you don't love him, you just want him because you know deep down inside that he doesn't want you, and that pisses you off. Now get away from this loser before you catch something permanent (such as a child) and are permanently stuck with him. Ya see the woman on shows like Jerry Springer etc? you'll end up on a show like that if you continue seeing this absolute waste of space.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): ( my opinion) He does sound like he is cheating on you with another woman. If you think logically, the reason he wouldn't want to go to the clinic could be because he has slept with another girl and if he did get some kind of STD you don't have, that's proof right there that he cheated on you because like you said, he did not that "bump" on his thing before. Also the way he just broke up with you because you took him to the clinic is not justifying at all! He might of wanted to dump you from the beginning and used the "clinic" as a reason to do it. You mentioned he cheated on you, disrespects you, and lies to you, so why are you still with him? You deserve someone better than this ^^^hole! A guy who hurts his girlfriend is not worth sh*t. If I were you I would tell him goodbye, he isn't worth it, any of it in fact, and you deserve a way better man who doesn't hurt or lie to you. (This is just my opinion.) I have been through this before and whatever you decide to do is your decision. Good Luck (:
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