A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this is the first time I have posted on here, but I have been hanging around for a while now and I like the advice and help given.I'm 14 years old and when ever I'm doing anything, or even just doing nothing for that matter I don't care about what I look like, I hardly use make up unless I'm going some where really good, mainly because I can't be bothered, but as soon as someone says something about my appearance (be it good or bad) or I see my self in a mirror and I start thinking that I'm ugly and I get quite down, I've also never had a boyfriend, which I don't care so much about as I wouldn't really want one at the moment but none seem interested in me anyway which also makes me feel ugly and as if there's something wrong with me.
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female
reader, vamp-gal +, writes (8 March 2009):
 Hey,
I know you posted this a while ago, but I'll post an answer anyway :)..
Anyway, I used to be EXACTLY the same. I'm 15 and have never had a boyfriend and I don't really care about what others think of me. When I started wearing make-up and stuff like that, it was unusual for me, but now it's just normal.
I still don't care what others think of me, but it's what I think of myself, which is probably what you're going through, maybe.
Don't think of it as weird or anything, it's just you changing.
Anyway, even though this was a long time ago, I hope it helps :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2009): Im 14 years old too.and that happen to me a lot too. But i don't know what you look like but from what i seen in your letter, youre not ugly.its just your emotions taking over you.and for some advice you don't need a boyfriend for you [yourself] to not be ugly.what is a boyfriend going to do? Whats good is that yourd not getting tied up in all that boyfriend drama. But you need to be happy of who you are and not what you look like.
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A
female
reader, Lauren.. +, writes (27 January 2009):
 Also, if people are saying good things about you, then I think that they mean it in a good way. I think you should just take on board what they say, as just what it is, and thats a compliment. Generally the people that say bad things about people, are the ones who are actually really insecure and they either pick on the things on other people that they wish they could change themselves, or just to make themselves feel better about whatever there problems are. So to hell with those people basically. (:There probably are guys that are interested in you but because of their age, they are too shy and maybe inexperienced to know what to do about their feelings. It used to get me down when i didn't feel like guys were interested in me, so i know how you feeling. Just relax, and be yourself.Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Lauren.. +, writes (27 January 2009):
Hiyathere is definitely not anything wrong with you. For a start, guys prefer little makeup to people who cake themselves in makeup, because they look over-done and it hides their natural beauty. So i wouldn't worry about that.
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A
female
reader, Jmo  +, writes (26 January 2009):
 I don't know what you look like and quite honestly it doesn't matter. All girls get self-conscious from time to time but the more you start to think about it, the more down on yourself you will become. When I was little (like too young to even really be thinking about these things) I was down right obsessed with the fact that I hated how I looked and wanted plastic surgery (yes, @ like 6 or 7). This continued for years. When I was about 13 I saw this brief paragraph in some chick magazine that said to stop looking in the mirror for awhile. If you catch a glimpse of yourself resist the urge to stare at yourself. If you stop thinking about it so much it'll become less of an issue and in a short period of time you you'll feel more confident and actually in turn feel more attractive. I know it sounds kinda cheesy but it works. (on a side note I commend you for not going ape-shit with the make-up, I went through a phase where I really caked that shit on and in retrospect I looked like a child prostitute.) I'm 25 now and realize that a spent so many years wasted on the idea that I didn't look like I felt I should. I now recognized that I was attractive all along and that it was a mind thing and not a physical thing. While I sometime still feel slightly self-conscious and change the subject when someone compliments my physical attributes (I've never been good at taking compliments) I know that when you feel good, you feel that you look good. I hope this helps and if it doesn't, maybe you can take some solace in the fact that every girl goes through this in one way or another. We girls can be our own worst enemies sometimes and you are not alone.
-Jmo
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A
female
reader, :)31215 +, writes (26 January 2009):
 I only wear eye-liner anywhere, maybe some eyeshadow and mascara every once in a while, [especially if i'm going out nice] so it's nice to find someone who takes [sorta] the same attitude as i do :)
Everyone looks in the mirror and sees flaws. It's just a human reaction.
At your/our age, most people are just out to annoy you anyway, however, guys do get better xD
I liked Cerberus' ending so i am gonna write it again
good words :)
"when you look in the mirror you are not looking at a true image of yourself, because everything is backwards in a mirror, just like writing is"
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A
female
reader, shiraz +, writes (26 January 2009):
i dont know any body that looks in the mirror and adores what stares back. everybody is different, the way we look, our personality, our feelings and the people we really are. its normal to feel how your feeling. life gets that way sometimes but you have to remind youself and i dont want to sound patronising but your young! you have a future, your going to become your own person one day. you have so much time for change and becoming what you really want. your unhappy now, i understand that but nobody is perfect in this world. people try to be but not one person actually really knows what perfect is and if we did would we like it? would others like it? would we be happy?
be happy with who you are. you seem like a genuine person and things get better as you get older.just because people arent showing an interest at the moment does not mean your ugly, you may already have somebody but are missing the signals as your worried to much about the imperfections.
its not about who and what were not, too many people live like that. be happy in yourself, as a person. xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): No there's nothing wrong with you at all, they're natural feelings, only the most deluded, arrogant people love everything about their appearance.
Personally when I look in the mirror all I see is flaws, but I also know for certain most people that look at me see something completely different and I do know, that there are people out there that consider me attractive, the same applies to you.
I like your attitude to make-up by the way, a lot of girls that feel the same as you, plaster it on and won't leave the house without full make-up on.
Remember too, that when you look in the mirror you are not looking at a true image of yourself, because everything is backwards in a mirror, just like writing is.
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