A
female
age
36-40,
*litterbug
writes:I am a virgin at 21. Am I a freak? I read erotic fiction books, own several toys and think about sex all the time but actually doing it terrifies me!please help. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, glitterbug +, writes (19 February 2009):
glitterbug is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone it has helped me realise that i am not wierd i think the only person that is pushing me is me i thanks guys :-)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): you are not a freak. i waited to have sex til I was 22. The idea of it freaked me out, but I was curious too at the same time. When I finally met the right guy (whom I am married to now!) I was still scared. Finally one day we did but it was when I felt it was right and I was ready. You will know..believe me.
...............................
A
female
reader, Jackie63 +, writes (19 February 2009):
I'm 25 and still a virgin, and if you ask me, I'll be for a long, long time. I'm just not comfortable about having sex, and in spite of whatever stupid pressure I might experience, why would I do something I'm not comfortable with?
...............................
A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (19 February 2009):
 No you're not a freak. My sister is 23 and has only recently lost her virginity. Just wait until you have found the right guy who'll make you feel special, safe and secure.I'm sure you'll be fine when it comes to it and won't worry about it if you're with someone you feel completely comfortable with.good luck xx
...............................
A
female
reader, princessjasmine  +, writes (19 February 2009):
im like u, 22 virgin but think about sex, like watching sex but wont do it, cuz ill do it after marriage, il ike this deccision, have u had oral? or no type of sex at all? Ive done some things just not sex sex, i dont think im missing out on much, when the time comes ull b fine, go with the flow, thats wat ill do:)
...............................
A
male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (19 February 2009):
 well i was 22 when i lost my virginty so don't worry about that so much. and about being scared, i was scared too but when it came to it i was fine oddly. i guess if you're with the right person it will be ok. thinking about it too much wont help so just tell your 'first' that you haven't done it before and she'll (cant think how best to word this) take charge so to speak. honestly mate, you've got nothing to worry about.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): I am 20, a virgin, and am in the same predicament as you. For basically my entire adult life, I have had a few opportunities to hook up with guys, but would usually avoid it. I keep waiting for someone who is "Mr. Right" but am beginning to think that will not happen. But in the mean time, I'm horny and thinking about sex! I also read erotic fiction, but feel like somethings missing? Well, last weekend I ended up going home with a guy friend whom I saw at the bars. We ended up hooking up! (not sex) but we fooled around for quite some time, and that was basically my first kiss! We actually took it kinda far, I moved from no experience with guys to getting naked with him in one night. Now, I feel more confident when I meet new guys. I am still a virgin, but just that one night helped me feel better about actually being with a guy. I think it helped me get over my fear.
So basically, my advice wouldnt be to find some random guy and have sex with him, but try to change your attitude toward being physical with a guy. The only problem is, now I am more horny than ever because I keep thinking about my experience with him. But it really really helped me. It wasnt just about getting with a guy, it was about changing my attitudes and having more confidence in myself. Next time I meet a cute guy, I won't shy away so quickly. Just try to act like you know what you're doing, even if you don't! Next time you meet a guy that seems into you, just go with the flow. Don't be too conscious of what your doing, or too critical. Just try to act natural, and confident even if you aren't.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): no - not a freak , just a normal 18-21 year old. (sorry if you did want to be a freak) - despite the press not everyone is shagging before they are 25.
I am sure you will be fine just find a good man to show you the ropes (kind of a contradiction there).
The actual act isn't so spectacular as the press also makes out (lol, but still bloody fantastic) when the time come you will be fine just relax...
Hugs Star.x.
...............................
A
male
reader, aman +, writes (19 February 2009):
Are you actually scared of it, or just extremely nervous? Being nervous is perfectly normal, you may feel extra pressure since you are older than some people that are not virgins. You just need to find the right person who you can be comfortable around and the nervousness will disappear when the time comes.
If you are actually scared of it... like a legitimate fear of it, then you may want to see a psychologist.
...............................
A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (19 February 2009):
 i myself am also a 21 year old virgin, so i know how you feel. im nervouse about my first time... and im afraid of screwing it up, but because iv learned about passion and about what my girls body is like {more or less} i feel confadent that when the time comes, i will be fine. so what im trying to say is that you just need someone to be more comfortable with, take it slow, get used to a person, and then used to there body, and then sex should go fine.
...............................
|
