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age
36-40,
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writes: i need some advice and no judgement please, my problem is, my boyfriend is taking care of me,very good care. what ever i neeed he provide, he's on the wealthy side, but i need a job, but i don't want to work because he giving me every thing i need already i am confused on what to do and where to begin, be honest, should i seek a job or what. i really don't have to work. i use to work but it seems like its more months and less money. help me out i'm comfuse.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): depends if you are long term future w BF - big problem for you if you break up or he loses his job. find a job you enjoy.
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male
reader, unclezak  +, writes (2 May 2009):
Pick up experience in fields that take your interest with voluntary work, having a little dab at a few things and then maybe consider training in somethign that really takes your fancy and try and get in to something you would enjoy
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2009): Yes, get a job... first of all, is there ever such a thing as too much money? You could *always* use more money. And working for your own money (even if it amounts to pocket change) makes you feel good about yourself, like you contributed something to the world instead of being a useless sponger.
Not to mention, you have a boyfriend whose providing everything. A boyfriend, not a husband. At least with a husband, if the worst happens, you can go to court for alimony. With a boyfriend, not so much. If he decides to leave, you're pretty much assed out, broke and homeless. If, however, you're providing for yourself, then if the worst happens (God forbid) you always know you can take care of yourself. Your whole life is not depending on whether this guy loves you or will find the nice trophy girlfriend to replace you with.
And to your question as to why we're being negative... its because we live in the real world where bad shit happens all the time. We don't want it to happen, but it does. Its why lawyers make their money: they exist to try to prevent the "what if" sceanrios via contracts that cover every conceivable contigency. Its just the real world. The older you get, the more you know that life is not just a fairy tale where Prince Charming will take care of you forever and ever.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): If you both have an agreement that you need not work, then you're under no obligation to gain employment. If it is understood you are to be employed and financially contribute to the relationship, then it is important to spend eight hours a day looking for work. My confusion is from the two opposing statements: 1. "I need a job..." 2. Your wealthy boyfriend provides everything you need. Perhaps you can explain why you say you need a job.
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male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (1 May 2009):
 You said you need a job, we're just agreeing with you.
Don't get a job I'm sure he won't resent you, and you don't need the social interaction of the real world.
If you want to been seen as some one like Paris Hilton carry on.
At the end of the day I suppose you are just doing what thousands of girls have done before you, it is the oldest profession in the world after all.
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female
reader, pebble +, writes (1 May 2009):
 It seems you just want people to say "yes carry on sponging off your boyfriend - that's a great thing to do".I have one question: Do you have a young child or is there something physically wrong that makes you not able to work? If not, the jobcentre should be chasing your a*s into a job because you're not married to this guy.Living off your boyfriend is not good. Look around at all the stuff that he has paid for. You haven't earned any of it, you don't deserve any of it because you haven't worked for it. No one wants to have to work. But it's life, you don't have a choice. At some point he's gonna decide that you cannot put up with you doing nothing to help him financially. At some point, he WILL start to resent you. You're contrubuting nothing. And if you got married, you'd be contributing nothing to the family home. No one would be happy doing that unless there was an actual reason why the other person couldn't work.You can carry on with this lifestyle if you want but at some point he will get sick of it and leave. Then where will you end up? With nothing.I'm sorry, but in this situation, people are not going to tell you what you want to hear.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhy can't people be positive, fill me with some positivity. what if this and what if that. why there has to be nagetive things.
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female
reader, kaylagal  +, writes (1 May 2009):
 Why depend on a man like that, and he's not even your husband, just a boyfriend.Don't just get a job but get a vocation (a job that you love) Find out what you like and what makes you happy and find something in that area. Even if it's just part timeI believe every woman should have some self-dependency, and I think a man will respect you more for it.
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male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (1 May 2009):
Try doing some voluntary work, if you don't need the money there are so many charities that require volunteers. That way you put something back and you conscience is clear about mooching off your boyfriend.
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (1 May 2009):
 i'd definately get a job i mean what happens if you guys split?
what if he gets fed up of providing for you?
what if he feels you're not making your own money and feels you're just using him for his money.
get a job for now even if it's working in your local shop it's still some money for you.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 May 2009):
 Get a job. Since you wouldn't really need the money, you're free to find a job that suits you, not anything that comes your way. But, by all means, get a job. You'll live a more productive life, you'll have your independence, and you'll have the experience and the means necessary to support yourself if he should leave you.
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