A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I slept with my friend because he was dying and because I felt guilty for leading him on. Each time after having sex he would cry and hug me and profess his love for me. He had a crush on me for years. During his last days I lied to him that I loved him too.He died of cancer recently. Now I feel even more guilty because I lied to my dying friend. My best friend.He left me his car and everything he owned. In his will he professed his love again, saying I was the only girl he ever loved. I was feel sick of myself upon hearing this. I don't deserve any of this. I hate myself. I don't know what to do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2016): I had tears in my eyes when I read this and I am a man. That was a very noble deed you did. I wish there were more people like you in this world. Take care, you have a full live ahead of you. Be happy :-)
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 January 2016):
 No, heaven is a peaceful place with unlimited love. There are no greedy, jealous or miserable souls up there. He would be very happy that you make his transition a beautiful one. There are testimonials every day about how departed ones still communicate with their alive relatives. There could be signs like butterflies, birds, coins, paper notes or even human angels that assure you that they still care about you.
Telling people that they matter, they are loved on their death beds is the greatest gift you can give. I am sure if you want to find a boyfriend again, your best friend would approve and he wants you to be happy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2016): Is there life after death? I feel that I have just taken the easy way out and deceived him instead of confronting my own mistakes as I have caused him a lot of pain in the past. I am sure he would be looking down from the heavens now and be greatly saddened that I lied about my love for him.I just wish I could turn back time, so I could tell him the truth. But it would have hurt him to know that I didn't reciprocate his love.Better still, I wish I could turn back time further back. I was young, childish and selfish. If I didn't do what I did he wouldn't have been obsessed with me his whole life. He might even have found a more deserving partner instead of obsessing about me. I made him miserable his whole life and tricked him into believing a few moments of fake happiness at the end. He was always honest with me. I think he hates me now, wherever he is.(OP)
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (17 January 2016):
It looks like you gave him the more valuable gift ever. You made his dream come true. And he passed away happy about this. Who cares if your love for him wasn't exactly as he thought? You did this out of love anyway. If you don't want the things he left for your, donate those. There is always people needing stuff. That will make you feel better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2016): I too feel that you did love him. There are different types of love. You made his final days happy- why are you feeling guilty? I think your guilt is the fact that he has lost his life and you still have yours. You would not have done what you did if you did not feel strongly about him as a friend. It would take some doing for me to do that to someone I was not close too. You will be blessed with happiness.
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A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (16 January 2016):
Your friend died thinking the person he loved loved him back. Trust me, not many people get to have that when they go.
You did love him, or you wouldn't have done it. You just don't love him in the same way he loved you. You can't help how you feel, so stop beating yourself up for it. You gave him what he wanted and it cost you. But that doesn't mean it wasn't kind or that you did him a disservice. You made his passing easier for him and that's something I think we all would want for our best friend. If I was his family member and I knew how you really felt, I wouldn't judge you or think less of you.
If one of your friends had been in this situation instead of you, would you judge them for it? Treat yourself like a friend. You've got to live with yourself your entire life. Might as well treat yourself nicely.
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (16 January 2016):
 Sorry for the loss of your friend. What you did, in my opinion, was to show great love for your friend, just a different love. Be kind to yourself. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2016): Don't taint your final gift to him and like the other's say, Love has different meanings to everyone. He never died lonely and you gave him this gift of humanity friendship and warmth thinking of his feelings rather than your own.
If you feel uncomfortable about him leaving you things in his will ( which you should not feel guilty about, he wanted too) why not sell the car and donate the money to cancer charities or use the car as a volunteer service to give cancer patients day's out...you could start a new charity in your friends name.
Many people do go through cancer alone and die alone...some gifts are priceless.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (15 January 2016):
In Greek there are a number of different words for love. In English, we’re just stuck with the one word. Each of the Greek words describes a different kind of love: the erotic and romantic, the platonic (the deep love between friends), the love of parent and child, love for other people that inspires kindness (we used to call it charity). What you did was, without doubt, an act of profound love. Maybe you weren’t attracted to this person, but you cared enough for his happiness to give of yourself so generously. You must have loved him to do that. That does not mean it was a lie, or that it was a deception. By all means, give the things to his family or donate them, as others have suggested, if you don’t feel you can keep them. In my opinion there is no reason why you shouldn’t keep them, since this was not your motive at all. You aren’t a cheat, you aren’t a fake, you’re a wonderful person who did an incredible thing.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 January 2016):
 I too think you did a kind kind act. You didn't say it to get his stuff or make yourself look better, but to make his last moment happy. And that you did.
If you don't feel like you deserve the car and his stuff, give it to his family. Don't tell them why, just let them know that you don't feel you deserve it.
And don't forget there are different levels of love. Maybe yours for him was the grand romantic one, but the love of friendship. So in essence, you DID love him.
It was a kind act. You did good.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (15 January 2016):
 Please do not be so hard on yourself! You cared for your friend, you comforted him and made his final days on earth more comfortable. I'm sure you made him happy. I don't know anyone with a heart that would fault you for your actions. He died knowing that you cared and wasn't alone. You gave of yourself and whether it was love, or friendship..you made him feel that someone cared. Isn't that all we want in life when you get down to it? Forgive yourself and keep all the happy memories of him. And I am sorry for your loss. Its really hard to lose a good friend/companion and I'm sure you are grieving. Stop kicking yourself.
If you feel uncomfortable about what was given to you, please consider what SVC suggested..return them to the family or if they don't want things, perhaps you could ask if they would mind if you donated things?
Be good to yourself sweetie. You're a good person..don't think anything else.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 January 2016):
 Sounds exactly like the Downton Abbey Storyline where Daisy married William before he went to war to make him happy and when he died his father made sure she got his things and treated her like the loving daughter and she had such guilt since she did NOT love William.
She grew to understand that he died he died happy and believing that she loved him. He had peace.
You gave your friend peace at the end. You were kind. IF you don't think you deserve these things then you can return them to his family or donate them to others less fortunate than yourself.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (15 January 2016):
Think how he would have felt had he not had a love in his life before dying. All of us would rather feel loved than alone in our final days. Having lied in order to give him that feeling is certainly a valiant act. You did right. Thanks for giving him a great gift.
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male
reader, Denizen +, writes (15 January 2016):
 I think your gift to him was beautiful. You did love him as a dear friend and you gave in the most generous way. I am touched by your love and kindness. It isn't wrong to do what you did. Quite the opposite. You reached out to him in what can be a lonely and sorrowful time and gave of yourself to comfort him. On behalf of humanity I thank you.
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female
reader, suzzzque269 +, writes (15 January 2016):
 dont feel guilty...he died happy thinking that you loved him. i think its better than him being unhappy because he didnt think you dont/didnt love him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2016): You were a good friend to him, you may not have loved him like that but it is clear you cared deeply, give yourself some credit.
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