A
male
age
30-35,
*rax
writes:i don't know how to say this without sounding like a shallow a-hole...but my girlfriend and i got in a fight because i lied to her, today i bought her flowers and a card but she still hasn't forgiven me(can't say i blame her) but her friend is becoming a pain because when i told my gf i had lied to her she had said that i am no longer allowed to touch her in a sexual way or have sex with her but her friend has claimed that she "owns her boobs and vagina now" and my gf keeps rubbing it in my face but she also seems like she wants me to do something that will bring those parts back to me, i don't like my girl just for sex there's more than that, but with halloween coming up and her being a sexy nurse i really want to be able to mess around with her... any advice on how to get this to happen?
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male
reader, Trax +, writes (19 October 2007):
Trax is verified as being by the original poster of the question well i'm aware that i sould like an a-hole, and i DO want her for more than sex, the only thing that really bothers me is that her friend is chiming in
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): Yup, you sound like a shallow a-hole..why did you lie, to get into her pants? I hope she doesn't let you mess around with her & even though you say you like her for more than sex, you don't make it sound so.
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A
female
reader, lisa21  +, writes (18 October 2007):
suppose it depends how serious the lie was, probably a bad one seeing as you got flowers for her, tell her friend to get bent act like it dont bother you and she'll soon get fed up if she dont get a reaction from ya.
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A
male
reader, Trax +, writes (18 October 2007):
Trax is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI lied to her about my age, a hobby of mine and a job i never had, I really do love her and if i have to I will spend the rest of my life apologizing to her. The punishment doesn't bother me so much as her pulling her friend into it. I want her for so much more than just sex but the way her friend throws it in my face absolutely crushes me, it wouldn't bother me at all if her friend didn't say it every time i said something sweet to her. It's going to be impossible to get back on her good side with her friend always laughing at me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): What were your lies about? it sounds to me that her friend has found a weak spot in you and now she is pressing it more and more to wind you up. Just laugh at her she will soon get bored with it then. If things get so bad then move on, get rid of the pair of them. Life is much too short for all this misery. You deserve a life of fun and happiness not wind ups.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Lilli b +, writes (18 October 2007):
 Your girlfriend's friend needs to keep out of this. It is between the two of you and for the two of you, alone, to sort out.
Why did you lie? What lie did you tell? What was your motivation?
Perhaps your girlfriend cannot forgive you, or perhaps she can, perhaps she needs more time to consider whether she can forgive or more importantly trust you in the future. However with the help of her friend, she is currently punishing you and this is not healthy - it is as hurtful as the initial lie.
If she can't forgive she should move on and leave you free to move on. If she needs a little time and space to consider things, then give her that. If she is clear that she can forgive you and trust you again then build something together and learn from your mistakes but what you cannot allow is this continuation of punishment.
Talk to your girlfriend, tell her that her friend must stay out of your business, explain your motivation for lying (what you were trying to gain), accept her anger and the time it takes for her to forgive and trust you but do not accept her punishment. If this is the route she continues to take then ask yourself how much punishment are you prepared to take - is it until the party, or a year or perhaps 10 years? If you let her punish you (and guilt will sit at the core of this) then the two of you will build a relationship with no balance. She will or could always throw your lie in your face. If this is what you want, fine but if not, be prepared to offer her a solution or move on
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A
male
reader, Trax +, writes (18 October 2007):
Trax is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlila, that could just make things worse than they already are... but if she does og off and start flirting or messing around with other guys then i will know what to do...
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A
female
reader, Lila +, writes (18 October 2007):
 Maybe you could go to a Halloween party and find another sexy nurse it's a preety popular costume choice.Doesn't sound like the 2 of you are gonna be messin about by Halloween.I think she's gonna ride out a big long guilt trip and Halloween will probably be her finale,flirting with other guys or girls to make you miserable.
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A
male
reader, Trax +, writes (18 October 2007):
Trax is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know but her friend is (or at least claims to be straight) but her friend didn't just jump into the issue, my girl said it to me and now her friend is just repeatedly rubbing it in my face.. it's in a joking manner but i feel truly insulted... today i almost yelled at my girl because it got so frustrating, but i have more self control than that...
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (18 October 2007):
 Does her friend like women too now. That's the only way I could see her taking a claim.
This is an issue between you and your girlfriend, not anyone else. Her friend needs to remain out of this issue. I'd let her know, your friend wants these parts, she can have them because I want the rest of you, and that's much more than sexual parts.
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