A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a long term bf whom I love a lot. But I am attracted to a guy who I know from the gym. It is not something I'd act on, but what does this mean? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Fabulosa  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Its normal to find other people attractive. I love my hubby with every cell in my body but god knows when I see shamar moors on tv my eyes r glued to the tv.... but it depends on your relationship with ur bf and how that's going and the level of your attraction to the other man.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): You should discuss your potential wandering eye with your boyfriend. He may pick up the pace if he thinks you might stray.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): It can also mean you've started to reach the end of your journey with your boyfriend - NO one ever wants to say that, but that is a fact of life and relationships.
At your age, yes, you can go a whole life time with one person, and yes, that is the goal for most, but it is not conclusive, nor is it healthy if you really feel that you are drawn to someone else. Wait just a minute, where you are taking the time to login to DC and ASK the question.
If it was just a passing thought, who would take the time to ask this question. It would be, hey, he's fit, attractive, a nice guy, but I'm going home to who I want to be with - end of story. We all become attracted to someone else once in a while when in a long term relationship, it's just how much thought we give to that person after the initial attraction.
You may not act on it, but if you are spending 90% of your waking time thinking about the other person, and not your partner, then may be you need to ask yourself why. Take a long hard look at your relationship, is it working, does he still make you happy. And do you go to sleep at night only wanting your partner. If not, then may be you are just ignoring signs that your current partner is not going to be the life mate you hoped for.
Sorry, but this is a logical, no frills, realistic, pragmatic reply, that doesn't tell you at 22-25 you MUST at all cost remain, or will stay happy for the rest of your natural..with your current partner.
May be it's time for a shake up, to get your relationship into gear. Only YOU know the answer to that!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): If you don't act on it it's not really a problem.
What does it mean? It means you're human.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 It means your eyes are working as they should.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 If you sincerely love you boyfriend then don't act on this, just put it down to a crush. Crushes tend to be fairly short lived, so just let it die down of its own accord. Of course we all see members of the opposite sex outside of relationships, at work, the gym, on a train, the supermarket, after all we can't go out in blinkers can we. Suppose you can call it window shopping, look but don't touch, just don't act on it.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): It isn't who you are attracted to that matters, it is who you act on it with that matters.
That acting can be all the way from flirting all the way to sex and past that to marriage and children.
But, how you ACT is what defines any relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): It just means u are human hun. When in a long term relationship sometimes we get to comfortable and well, bored. The thought of being attracted to someone else can be exciting and stimulate u in areas that have not been attended to for a while. Mystery is something that must be kept alive in a relationship or it will get boring. When this happens it leaves the door open for another to walk in. What ur feeling is perfectly normal and if u choose to act on it u may find urself alone and picking up the pieces of a good relationship. Sometimes we dk what we got till its gone. U just need to figure out whether its just a crush or if its worth risking what u already have. Sometimes what we are looking for is right in front of our noses, we're just to busy looking we don't see it. Before u go chasing this guy, stop and ask urself what it is that turns u on about him. Then take a look at ur man and decide whether or not to try and re kindle the flame with him and keep it burning!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 January 2011):
It means that like most people, you're attracted to someone other than your boyfriend. The real question is whether you're more attracted to him or your boyfriend? If you're not going to act on it, then it's more likely that this is a sign that you and your boyfriend need to kick your relationship into gear.
Having a crush on someone else is normal. It's when you act on it that it becomes a bad thing. I think you should take a look at your relationship and kick it into gear again.
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A
female
reader, Shini +, writes (12 January 2011):
 I think it's pretty natural it probably doesn't mean anything just hormones and what not.
Good luck :3
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