A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys,Lately, I've been feeling really lonely and depressed. I live on my own, away from my parents, because I'm studying in a university that's far from my hometown. Even though my life's supposed to be great: I'm healthy, I have a nci ehouse, a few close friends that are very dear to me, and I'm a good student, there's always something missing.I know other people have it far more worse, but I can't help but feel this way...What's missing, is a boyfriend. I've never had an actual boyfriend, just a few flings that never mattered much. All my friends are in relationships,and I'm almost 20 and can't say I've ever been in a true one...It's not that I'm desperate, it's that I'm lonely. Right now it feels like everyone's pairing up and I'm being left behind. I am not unattractive, quite the opposite actually, and I can engage in a variety of conversations, I have lots of hobbies, I write music/songs/sing, and overall I'm a sociable person. Yet, nothing good seems to come my way and I'm starting to wonder: What am I doing wrong?A few guys I've liked in the past only thought of me as a friend. The guys that did like me were the ones I didn't like. A guy I knew had an obsessive crush on me for 2 years, followed me around and stalked me continuously, so much that I was seriously thinking of calling the police on him. I've had guys ask for my number before, but I wasn't interested in them, and it seemed like they just wanted to get into my pants, anyway...I really am feeling sick of being single, and feel like I'm wasting my life away...I've just had more than enough time with just myself, but then again, I don't want to date just about anyone..Please give me some advice if you can, what am I possibly doing wrong and what could I do? :/
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crush, depressed, stalking, university Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Learner.uk +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Hi,First of all dont put your self down there are thousands of other girls and boy's feeling the same!You sound happy with the way you look so be possitive and get out and about you dont all ways have to go clubing etc to find someone, Do you have an interest in anything like dancing, running etc if so try and give some sort of club a go, where you might meet a like minded guy, Ive done it to meet girls before and It has been great.Secondly get to know the guy's you are meeting first as a friend and build on that you will soon know if he is the rite person for you and ask question's so you can work things out in your head if your likely to stay with him or he is just looking for a fling...Im a guy and I have been there, I had a real problem with the way I looked just because of my Ginger hair! lol, How stupid was I, I just told myself to get on with life feel happy and positive about your self and that you will meet the rite person...If you dont look or feel good about your self you might be sending the wrong vibes out. Im 28 now and after all the trouble and the amount of broken heart's I have been through I wished I had not rushed into things. You sound like you are a nice genuine person so do your best to feel good in life some times being single is the best thing in the world especialy at your age you have years ahead of you.Hope this help's out, all the best.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): For some, what we think is missing is something we have lost or something that may be lacking in our life. For you it is important to determine which it is. In my humble opinion, in order for dating to be successful, the other person has to really feel an attraction to you or at least see you as a friend and no other variation there of or it just won't work. I'm sorry to put it to you that way :(
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 I know when I was your age, I really felt the same way you did to. It's is extremely tough meeting people that you want to be with in your 20s.
One suggestion I have is to get yourself out there and seen. If you are sitting in your dorm room pining away, you won't find a boyfriend.
Enlist your girlfriends to help set you up. Get involved in some "fun" classes where there are interactions with other classmates (creative writing or physical education classes). Something low key. Another place to meet people is to participate in community events or by hitting the gym. If you feel so inclined, you can try a commercial dating site. Sometimes churches have social mixes.
A friend of mine used the metaphor of "The longer you hang around a bus stop, the more likely you'll find a bus". The same thing applies to finding a mate. Hit the spots where singles hang out and be social and eventually one will come around.
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A
male
reader, Akir +, writes (13 January 2011):
You sound like you want to meet someone, but your showing a negative attitude to those who are interested, it may be that others are seeing this negativity and will not even try. When you're out trying relaxing look more engaging, if you like the look of someone let them know with some quick eye to eye contact and then look away slightly shyly.
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