A
female
age
36-40,
*ianne.rachelm
writes:I need a lot of help with something. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and we have lived together for most of that time. 2 months into the relationship he started calling me curse names and yelling at me constantly. When he got mad for any little thing he would go on and on about how horrible I am and he would bring up horrible things that has happened in my life to use against me. I always ended up crying and going up to our room. I would have to hide my crying because he even got mad when I would cry. He is always so angry and yells at me. Right now I dont work because i am going to college online. He comes home from work and starts yelling at me and assuming that I sat on my butt all day and did nothing around the house or anything. He expects me to clean up after him all the time. When I clean house he will dirty it up so fast and he then expects me to clean it. I always feel unhappy and sad. I am neglected and angry. He can't even please me sexually. Its always what he wants, and he gets. He is NEVER romantic. he never does little cute things for me or even plans date night. he never plans anything romantic and it always hurts. He is never romantic in bed, and he never just caresses me like I need to be. I have always from the start told him the kind of things that I want and its like he completely ignores me. He never even spends time with me. Its at the point that I always feel sad, unhappy, neglected and even angry all the time. I want to leave him so bad. But I love him so much. I dont know what to do. Everytime I say that I am going to leave, he always stops me and promises that things will get better. But it never does. Its also getting to that point that I hate him. Please someone give me advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2010): Gosh, I just had ANOTHER issue with my boyfriend, where I am the one left crying, alone and he makes me feel bad over it and tries to act like the whole thing is my fault. You are in EXACTLY the same situation as me. I get so sick and tired of his shit, and want to leave but then I think.. "well it could be better, it's getting better" but then something happens like this and it really, really bothers me when he won't even hold me or speak to me when I cry, and reminds me of what a d**k he really is. I know there is someone out there that would be so much better about my feelings than this.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (25 August 2010):
 The solution is really simple: if you hate him, leave him! Sweetie, you don't live in Afghanistan. You live in the U.S. and you don't have to put up with any man's abuse. Pack your shit and roll out!
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A
female
reader, lostlove1 +, writes (25 August 2010):
No matter how much you love him, you can't let ANYONE talk to you the way he does! I had an ex that would make fights my fault and like I was the one that was wrong all the time. I loved him and I still do, but the way he talks to me is not acceptable. You should seriously talk to him and if he doesn't change this then make sure you tell him your leaving. Don't let a man walk all over you, have some self respect, and if he doesn't change then i'm positive that some man will treat you the way you deserve.
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A
female
reader, VikkiDec1 +, writes (25 August 2010):
 Do not put up with abuse of any kind. Love is supposed to make you feel happy and you will not be happy with him. Please move on as soon as you can, you are better than this.
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A
female
reader, Eskim0  +, writes (25 August 2010):
Hun, no matter how much you think you love him. You have to get out of that relationship.
What you're in at the moment is an emotionally abusive relationship.
You deserve to be with someone who doesn't use you like a whore, and actually cares about you.
Have a little self respect, leave him and do it with dignity.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): You know what you want to do, you've pointed out the fact hes abusive towards you, he treats you like a slave rather than a equal lover. I know its hard to see beyond what you have now, but he will never see the error of his ways. there are so many better men out there who would treat you like a queen. This is not how relationships work, find the courage to just walk away it will be painful but time will heal I promise you.
Update with the news hun
xxxxxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 August 2010):
No matter how much you love this man, your life will be totally mired by him and his behaviour. You need to get away. Love isn't enough to keep this going. The abuse you're suffering will only get worse.
Check this site out and read the articles about abuse against women in the USA,
http://www.thehotline.org/
Your life will be wrecked by this dreadful boyfriend of yours. I think your head is telling you to leave. Listen to your head, not your heart. Your heart is wrong this time around. You must leave this man before you wind up as another statistic.
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A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (25 August 2010):
 You are in a very difficult situation. It is called the cycle of violence.
1. Tension building - that's where the abuse happens. Whether it's physical or verbal, it is still considered abuse.
2. Making up - the abuser asks for forgiveness, makes it seem it's not as bad as the victim may think, promises to never repeat the abuse again.
2. Calm - everything is nice and dandy as if nothing ever happened.
Then the whole thing starts all over again.
I don't think you should tell him anything, communication with a person like this is impossible. Just leave. Preferable when he is not home. Don't leave your numbers. Let your friends and family know that you don't want to have anything to do with him.
What you feel for him is not LOVE. It is a mix of emotions but in no way is it love.
I think that deep in your heart you know that you must leave him. that you do not deserve to be treated like this and that it's not normal for you to be unhappy with sex, feel neglected or angry.
Don't say you are going to leave, just leave.
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