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anonymous
writes: I am a 31 year old good looking woman (quite a lot of people have adivsed I go for modelling), intelligent, fun and so forth.I orgasm with men I either don't love, quite below my standards or men I don't care for but not with men I find attractive or love. I masturbate almost every day, fantasising about a security guard (at my work), gardenboy etc taking advantage of me. This excites me and I orgasm fast. I have been to pschycologists, nothing helps. Why is it the other way round for me?
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (8 June 2005):
 It's part psychological. You do not desire a man up to your mental, social, physical standards because you are afraid that you will not measure up to him. So you have totally blocked it out of your mind. Just playing with the idea of hooking up with an ideal man (looks, smart, rich) is frightening to you because you know you will have to compete. You will be expected to keep up with all the same things just as he does. So it is easier to date below your "standards" because you are not expected to be witty or competitive. You use your pretty looks to nab those poor men who don't know any better. You know most men of these "lower standards" don't care whether or not you graduated from college with a 4.0 and you use that to your sexual advantage. You've done it so long that you have forgotten all about true love and romance. All you care about is sex. And maybe sex is supplying you with what you need in the insecurities department. Yes, deep deep down you are afraid to fall in love. Afraid to get hurt. Afraid of looking like a fool. Afraid of the thought that a man could have power of your heart. Well, let me tell you something sugar, I was there. I thought I had beaten love. I was never going to allow a man to hurt me. So I did what you're doing now. But take a long look around you, in the end, you're still alone. I had to take that leap of faith and you will have to too.
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