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writes: My girlfriend and I used to argue a lot but we decided we were gonna work on it and we did. It went perfectly well till last Friday. We started to argue again about petty stuff. We sensed the bad ol times were reoccuring so she asked me to evaluate our relationship and what we were going to do to make it better. She said she only saw 2 options as far as she was concerned, the first to work things out and me having to change and be more affectionate towards her (which was her choice by the way) and the other to break up. She also mentioned during the discussion that someone had told her that I was being horrible to her(which is bizarre cause most of her friends think Im nice to her), and when I asked her who it was, she said it wasnt important and that she will not ever tell me who it was despite the fact that I desperately wanted to know!! I dont recall being nasty to her except for ignoring her when things get out of hand when we argue, which she does as well. Im thinking the reason that person said I was horrible to her was probably because she was only hearing one side of the story which was from her. Anyway, I was angry at the fact that she laid an option of breaking up(even when she doesnt want it and only wanted to give me an option, and also despite the fact that we promised never to take break ups lightly), so I chose it(despite really wanting it...but also thought we really needed a short break) and told her we should call it a day. She was heartbroken.I left things to cool for the day and the next day, I approached her and said I was rash in making that choice and wanted to give it another go(I did not beg her in any way, although I so wanted to). I told her although I had the gut feeling she would say no, I would still ask her one last time. And true enough, she said no. She said it was too late. She said we cant keep breaking up and getting back together, which is our 4th time doing this (twice her call and twice mine). She also said if I were to ask her the night before, Id have stood a better chance. When she declined my offer, I just said, well, dont worry about it...we could still be housemates, and I just left the room. Inside I was dying.I'm so devastated inside and I know she is as well but we're both acting like nothings happened when we see each other in the house. I know that my call for breaking up hurt her badly but is it a reason enough for her not to find herself to give us another go even if she wanted to? You guys might probably tell me to move on but is there no other way in rectifying this?? Did I do the right or wrong thing??
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (9 June 2005):
 You are both doing the wrong thing. You are both acting with pride in your hearts. Neither one of you will bite the bullet and take one for the sake of the relationship. Why don't you just open your heart and listen to what she's saying? She accused you of not giving her enough affection. That's not bad. But you made it so with your stubborn pride. If you only swallowed your pride and showed her the affection she's aching to receive from you, you'd been by her side tonight. Ask her to give you one last chance to give your side of it. Tell her you let your pride get the best of you and from now on, you will let your heart take the best of you.
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