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I don't know if I made the right decision!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have have been together for nearly a year, the other night something happen that scared me. We were lying in bed and I accidentally hit him in his, er, area, it was a complete accident and I apologized straight away, but he turned over and punched me in the ribs twice. He didn't hit me very hard and he didn't really hurt me. It was the shock that he actually punched me was what scared me. I never in a million years thought he would do that..

He got out of bed and walked around the house for a while before returning back. He asked me why I hit him, but I had already explained it was and accident and I just repeated it again.. I was clearly upset, and asked him why he had punched me. He said he didnt even punch me that hard, and apologized but still seemed very annoyed at me. I said that that wasn't the point and told him that I thought he would never hit me in a million years.

I turned over and ignored him and when he realized that I was crying he started to sound really apologetic and comforting. I froze him out for a while and he started to get upset asking was I going to break up with him over this. To be honest I thought I was going to do it but he managed to talk me around and I gave in.

He has very low self esteem and he is still very shy, I am on the other end of the scale being fairly talkative and fairly regular self esteem... I think he needs me more than I need him, but I still do love him and I love spending time with him. But I keep thinking there is something missing. He is my first proper long term boyfriend, so I don't have much experience. I just don't know if I have made the right decision.

Please help me..

Thank you!

View related questions: self esteem, shy

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A female reader, Alittlebroken United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2010):

Alittlebroken agony auntYou need to break up with him. First of all, he hit you, when he knew that you had hit him accidentally; and secondly you feel like something is missing in your relationship anyway. Get rid of him before he really hurts you.

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A female reader, VikkiDec1 United States +, writes (26 August 2010):

VikkiDec1 agony auntBe careful with this guy and if he physically abuses you in any way again, definately break it off. It sounds like maybe he was just having a bad day or it probably really hurt. If he does anything like this again, don't expect that it was an accident and realize that it can happen again. just because a guy has low self esteem, doesnt mean he can punch you and get away with it. Theres so many guys out there, I know it sounds cliche, but there is. If he's abusive then consider yourself lucky to get out of it.

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A male reader, RIKI93dw United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2010):

Ok with you hitting him accidentally and him hitting you in the ribs I think that what he did may had been just a reflex after being hit in such a sensitive area. You were in shock that he hit you but he may have been in shock aswell considering you hit him first but as you said accidentally. if you feel that he may hurt you again then maybe you should talk to him about it dont argue tell him you dont want to argue just talk calmly about it maybe both of you should apologise to eachother again and put this behind both of you. You say you don't know if you made the right choice but don't believe this unless the talk does not work but don't worry if both of you can sit down and talk like I said then I have full faith in this to work. I hope this can help you

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (26 August 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntHim hitting you in the ribs twice is a red flag..What you did was an accident and you apologized, he however hit you on purpose..He sounds like he has built up anger and maybe a little emotions. Also, when you say he needs you more than you need him..are you really that into him anymore? If you have to question your decision then you have your answer right there. Personally I wouldn't be comfortable around him anymore..What if it happens again, is he still going to retaliate even though it was accident? Something is off about him, I would back out of this before you really get hurt.

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A male reader, $izZle India +, writes (26 August 2010):

$izZle agony aunthello! decisions are never right or wrong according to me the best decision you can make is what makes you happy ... at the end of the day it doesn't matter what decision you made because you have to live with it your whole life and if you are not happy with what you decide to do I don't think it would be the right decision...

the right decision would be to do what makes you happy coz if you are not happy with what you decide how do you think you can live with it ? how do you expect to make some1 happy when you are not happy ... I hope you understand what i'm trying to say here :P

hope for the best have some fun have some laughs .... but never cheat or lie ...

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A female reader, Rmonroe United States +, writes (26 August 2010):

It sounds like He knewit was a joke, But took it too far.

So he then decided to blame you.

Dump him. No man should hit a woman.

He was completely wrong for that.

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