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male
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*immy
writes: Needing to find a way to redeem myselfI work with a girl who I developed a strong liking for. Despite several opportunities to ask her out I kept clamming up because I kept thinking that she may not feel the same way and didn’t want to spoil the friendship I’d struck up with her. Now she is with someone else who also works at my place. I’m finding her very unapproachable now and feel that I’ve really hurt her. I’m devastated because I feel that she thinks I was messing her about. What could I do to at least win back her friendship? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): try taking out to lunch and eplain how you feel about the whole situation. make her have a understanding of how your really feel about everything
A
female
reader, xixi +, writes (3 October 2005):
Perhaps all is not lost yet! The fact that she’s upset at you probably means that she still likes you and she felt hurt that you didn’t ask her out. If it’s at all possible, you could try to approach her and ask if you could talk to her in private for just a moment. I don’t think she’ll say no to that. Find a nice, quiet and private area where you can talk, like maybe step outside the workplace. Then you could tell her the truth, and tell her that you really like her and you meant to ask her out, but you just couldn’t get up the courage to ask her before. Then say that you realize that she’s going out with someone else now and you wish her all the best, but would like to still be friends with her. Tell her you noticed that she’s been giving you the cold shoulder lately, and that it hurts you, because you really would like to at least be friends. If she has a heart at all, I don’t think she could possibly stay mad at you after having a talk like that. If she’s still rude to you after that, then she’s not worth the effort. Best of luck!
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female
reader, cheeky_minx1987 +, writes (3 October 2005):
ok as a girl i think it is fair to say that she wants the attention from you... she obviously isnt hurt if she is so suddenly with another guy or maybe she is trying to make you jealous which wouldn maker her a very nice person to use another guy to do that. anyways just send her a txt saying you never meant to hurt her and so many times you wanted to tell her how you felt but got a lil shy, say u hope she will understand and let her no that u wudn try and jeopardize her relationship with this new guy
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female
reader, AuntieChrissy +, writes (3 October 2005):
Maybe you should just talk to her. Write her a letter, if you can't face telling her face to face. That way she knows how you really feel. Honesty is always the best policy. Good Luck!
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reader, helpfull girl +, writes (3 October 2005):
well first ask her what her problem is then once she answers you, your know what to say back. explain to her you wasnt messing her about you did really like her but you didnt want to say because you didnt want to lose her friendship as it means so much to you! tell her if you lost her friendship like you think you have you wont know what to do, if she does not want to continue the friendship order a big bunch of flowers or a sorry card and say i dont know exactly what im sorry for but i geuss id say it any way and just hope i gain our friendship again as i miss speaking to you, your soon gain her friendship back how ever if you dont the girls a loser try getting a new job if you want or stay at ya job but avoid her dont pay no attention to her what so ever!
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reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (3 October 2005):
Be honest!
Telling your feelings: Its the hardest thing in the world to do!
tell her your feelings and be understandable, ok, you dont want this, but say you now have someone else who should treat you better and emphasize the fact and say that "I know we cant be anything more now but can we at least be friends?" and remember to state that you would hate to be anything else as you thought your friendship was special and your friendship means more then anything in the world to you.
Might not be what you want BUT you have moved up on the ladder so-2-speak, now be a very good friend (but dnt seem to be more then a good friend) then you will move up the ladder again, when shes down and upset or have split up or fallen out (temporary or otherwise) with that bloke be a shoulder to cry on, but DONT take advantage of the situation, she should realise what a man you are and if they stay broken up for a while and nothing has advanced between you two, ask her out!!
I know it isn't easy, she probably playing a stuck up cow and wont let you get a word in edgeways, you may have to stick a spanner in the works, i cant advise you as you need to know the person first.
I mean, you need to get her to listen, and there are many ways (including but not limited to):
* Throw a drink over her - This may not be a good idea as many would call the police as it can be seen as an assault
* Pretend to trip over and spill drink over her or knock something out of her hands, then assist her - some woman would think what a loser...if so you are wasting your time
* Pass the word on that the manager wants to see her (and take her over to the place - make sure the manager isn't actually there) and then speak to her
* If its an office based environment type out a message and give it to her
* Play mind games with her
Well i guess you can think of some other ways...
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