A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am so beautiful. I have a really nice body and i have double D's. Flirting comes naturally to me. I can honestly say that a lot of people like me and just want to be me. I'm really popular and i have a lot of experience. All my close friends are kind of good girls and they are totally jealous of me. They always make rude remarks about how i act and the way i dress. My best friend once told me the only reason guys like me is because i'm easy. But i believe if you got it why not flaunt it.Why are my so called friends telling me these things? Is it because they are jealous of me?
View related questions:
best friend, flirt, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Rebeccaa  +, writes (9 March 2011):
 I have double D's and im a model, i dont flaunt it either. I no my friends arn't jealous of me i love my fireinds and im pretty sure they love me too
A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (9 March 2011):
I have double D's and im a model but i dont think people are jelous of me i love my friends and im pretty sure they love me.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): hah, i just read this and thought it must be a joke. I mean are you serious? Get over yourself love, if friends (so-called friends) treat you bad, how about it might be because they see you for who you are, your personality, cos they know you for more than just your looks, good for you for being so damn pretty. But get your head out of your but, and start caring a little more about the rest of the world not you and your double D's. I bet they won't even post this answer :'). You need to start seeing the world just a little bit firther than, i'm so beautiful and can have any boy i want, this isnt life mate, and you could probably be a really nice girl. So my answer is, maybe they are jealous, maybe they aren't, but why will this help? If they are jealous, doesn't that make you feel sad? that there supposed to be good friends, and they say these things? if you're such good friends they wouldn't need to be jealous to such an extreme. And if they aren't jealous, they definately aren't friends, they're expressing their opinion of you, and maybe that means you should try and change? im not saying make yourself ugly, like you say if you've got it, lucky you, but DONT flaunt it like some up themselves slag! I'm sorry but, if more than one person is saying this stuff to you, and they are meant to be your mates, you have some thinking to do babe, and you've gotta change your atitude and grow up. Because life is a lot lot more than easy catches, nice bodys and double D's. I wouldn't have replied if i wasnt genuinly trying to help/give my advice. I'm not just a bitch here to slag you off. I'm sure with a little thought you could be a great girl :)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): Saying "I'm so beautiful" and "people want to be me" is extremely unattractive. It's wonderful to feel those things about yourself, but watch how you say it, act it and flaunt it. That's what people don't like. A little humility goes a long way with any guy you'd want to spend more than one night with.
...............................
A
female
reader, MartinaA  +, writes (28 February 2011):
You might be beautiful on the outside, but I don't think it's your beauty that keeps people away!
It's your personality!
...............................
A
female
reader, yomama65 +, writes (28 February 2011):
 True beauty emanates from the inside out. Most decent people are really only interested in what's on the inside for the long-term. Outer beauty fades, but it's what's inside that really counts, not the size of your boobs. And I'm a triple D. :P
...............................
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (28 February 2011):
 hi
your friends are probably jealous of your over the top confidence! i'm kinda jealous of you myself for that ;)
seriously though they are right in what they say - certain guys will all flock to a girl (even an ugly one)who is free and easy with her 'charms' so be careful you are not being used by them. if your friends were really jealous of you i think they would just choose to not be with you so that maybe they could have more of a chance with the boys so stop being so negative about your friends coz it could be that they are just trying to give you some advice. you would be wise to come down from your high place and actually listen to them.
by the way, i have been exactly where you are at now, it is not a lifestyle that has worked for me to be honest - i am 39 now and wish wish wish i would have done things differently - so be careful
xx
...............................
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (28 February 2011):
 Ok, ignore all the sexual double standard talk. Ignore the word skank, slut, easy, etc.If you find someone attractive, are able to have sex legally, and do so responsibly, then do it. However, know the possible consequences of your actions. I cannot tell you that you should have a boyfriend etc., as I do not know the psychological reasons behind what you do. You sound hot, but as they said, there is more to it than that. You do have to have a good personality. Be nice to people, don't spread rumors, don't make fun of people that are not as well of as you, etc. However, you have a certain attitude toward clothes etc. If you have it, flaunt it. that is fine! Put yourself our there as much as possible, because as long as you are nice, if someone is calling you names for dressing a certain way, they are not your friends. This concept of guys will not be nice to you, because of what you are wearing is complete crap. Guys, in a country where "bros before hos" is the attitude, natrually are not nice. I have taken "skanks" out, and had a great time. They were fun, insightful, had a lot of intelligence, etc. All they did was dress in scantily clad clothing, because they were confident. Keep doing what you are doing, just be RESPONSIBLE, and know that if you have sex, that you have sex for the right reason. Do not have sex while drinking, don't drink, don't smoke, use birth control, ALWAYS use a condom, if you do not feel right about a guy, don't hang out with him, etc. The guys that call women sluts for wearing revealing outfits have no respect for women. That is the truth. I have respect for women. If they dress "slutty" that is their choice and that means nothing to me. The nicest girls i know are promiscuous freaks, well beyond anything you or anyone in your school knows. It is about intelligence, safety, and knowing that your "friends" are not your friends if they call you names. -Ihatewomanbeaters
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): It's likely your friends are trying to look out for you and protect you from guys that are going to use you and hurt you. the problem with flaunting your assets is that you will attract more attention but the wrong kind and from the wrong kinds of people. The kind of guy that would be a good boyfriend will avoid a girl who flaunts her body.
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (27 February 2011):
 OK, I'll take your assessment of your appearance at face value. So you're hot. Good for you, don't waste it.
Now, with that said, re-read these things you wrote, with my commentary:
"I can honestly say that a lot of people like me and just want to be me." Can you read their minds? Most of them probably think you're wasting your looks on being snooty. Or they're hoping to pick up the guys who you don't take.
"I'm really popular and i have a lot of experience." High school popularity is based on looks and your parents' wealth. If you're popular, it has nothing to do with you, it's all luck from your parents. And "experience," presumably meaning sex, is something that will prevent guys from *liking* you - instead, they'll act nice until you let them have their turn.
"All my close friends are ... totally jealous of me." They're jealous of your looks, not you. And jealousy is not a good thing, for you or them. Consider how you treat them, and how you think of them.
"My best friend once told me the only reason guys like me is because i'm easy." She sounds like a good friend, warning you away from wasting your looks and life on shallow things.
"But i believe if you got it why not flaunt it." Because of other people's feelings? Because flaunting it too much will make guys see you as a sex object rather than a person? Because it's a tremendous waste of good looks to use them for ego gratification rather than securing a healthy relationship with a decent guy?
"Why are my so called friends telling me these things? Is it because they are jealous of me?" Your friends are trying to get you to act like a decent human being, with consideration for other people. And as I said, maybe they're jealous of your looks, but they sure aren't jealous of *you*.
Seriously, 90% of what you wrote is incredibly conceited, narcissistic, solipsistic, and cruel. I'm surprised you have friends, unless you're nicer than this in real life.
Take some time to really think about how you treat other people, how you think about yourself, and whether the path you are taking is going to lead to fulfillment.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Oh my.
Do you have sex with a lot of guys? That's why they would call you easy.
(No offense)If all your friends are telling you that you dress like a skank, then it's probably true. There's a big difference between flaunting it with taste and flaunting it rather provocatively. Don't all high schools have dress codes? Perhaps, you should double check that you're abiding by it.
Or maybe they're jealous of your physique. If that's the case then maybe it's time to find new friends who are "confident" like you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): Maybe you should work on your personality rather than what you look like.
You well well be beautiful but that will only get you so far. Having an ugly personality makes even the most beautiful girl, ugly.
Usually people gain a reputation for a reason. You describe the size of your breasts in your post. Why is that? Why does having large breasts make you an attractive person?
I'd rather be thought of as somebody with class and morals then a girl who flaunts her body at any guy who will look.
...............................
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (27 February 2011):
I can't talk about you nor your friends because I don't really know you.
I'm twice your age so I've been there and I know what happens as time goes on. The girls I knew at 16, that match your description of yourself, are today all average women without much bright. And the girls that were more like average teen girls are now good looking and successful women. I had thought it was a Hollywood cliché. But that's what happened to my friends, pretty much.
Most these "easy" girls ended up used by the boys who dated them. And most of these boys broke up with them and moved on when they grew older. After that, almost everyone who tried to date them were there only for a physical thing.
I would recommend you to preserve yourself from this and take your life easy.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): Beauty is only skin deep.
Ugly go's all the way to the bone.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): they are not jelous' i think you are full of yourself and think your friends are jelous of you
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): Don't ever apologize for being beautiful. Your friends are jealous. No doubt about it. Unfortunately beautiful women are watched more closely than the Plain Janes and often they are judged more harshly. Remember the saying "Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful?" Most people will form an opinion of you because you are beautiful without knowing the real you. Really, beautiful people can have a hard time!! They are held to different standards.
I interact with a group of moms everyday and most of them do not talk to me because I am so much prettier than them and I am always laughing and have a personality, unlike these people. I am strong enough not to care and be myself regardless. I do not need their approval or friendship as I am already surrounded by the people who are important to me.
If an ugly girl flirts or is friendly with a guy, nobody will care, notice or say one word about it. They will find it amusing perhaps. If a beautiful girl does this, tongues will be wagging and everybody will automatically assume she is attracted to a guy and wants to go to bed with him. Wives have been very jealous of me because their husbands are talking to me and finding me attractive. As if I am interested in any of their husbands!! If I was ugly and talking to one of their husbands, nobody would get their knickers in a knot. Women are threatened by other women who are beautiful. Believe me, if I ever wanted one of these men, I could take them in a heart beat. So these women should be thankful to me that I am not that type of a person! This is the way it is and you just learn to go with it.
Beautiful women are confident and they flirt because they know they are beautiful, they like the attention (are used to it) and it empowers them. It does not mean they want to sleep with every man that crosses their path. In fact, the opposite. They can have anyone they want and they can afford to be choosy, unlike most other women.
I am beautiful and I flirt with men BUT I do not go overboard with the flirting. I would just call myself friendly and showing an interest in what they are saying. I like that they find me attractive and I enjoy watching them fall all over me and not know what to say or do or get tongue tied. It feels good. It's an ego boost. If the guys can't handle it, it is their problem.
I say enjoy it all while you can. Looks fade and you will no longer have this power. Having said that, I am fortunate to have the whole package, including personality. I owe this to being heavy for a few years so I had to develop a personality due to not having any looks at the time. But having the whole package, where beauty shines both inside and out, is what makes you the perfect woman and the perfect catch.
Don't care what others think and hold your head high. Unfortunately, they will be going through life being ugly or plain. Keep being you and keep that confidence shining and enjoy your looks while you have them. There is nothing wrong with being blessed with beauty and enjoying some of the perks that come with it. More power to you.
Dress as you wish and be exactly who you are. If that makes you happy and confident, go for it. You do not need to change for anyone, ever. Remember other people have the problem, not you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (27 February 2011):
 It's taking all of my willpower not to take you down a peg...
But if you think that people like you and want to be you- yet your "best friend" thinks you're a slut, I figure you'll get a reality check from all these people who "like" you soon enough.
Arrogance is an ugly trait.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (27 February 2011):
 They're jealous.
...............................
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 I SO have the same problem!
:-)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): Wow,you are really self centred.try caring about others for a change and doing something useful.you should be ashamed of yourself.life isnt all about looks you know.and you know what,women who dress like you to get attention from guys are usually secretly insecure.i'm the opposite of you in personality and looks and i'd much rather be how i am any day.and i dont think your friends are jealous.i think they really are disgusted by you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (27 February 2011):
So you believe, if you have got it flaunt it! Well in actual fact, true beauty doesn't have to be flaunted, it shines naturally.
I don't think your friends are jealous, perhaps they just think you are a little full of yourself. Yes confidence is a plus factor but it can also be very unattractive, and the most beautiful of people can soon look that way too if their personality stinks.
I am not suggesting you change your style of clothing, but sometimes "more is less" leave a little bit to the imagination. If you are as beautiful as you say you are, you will get just as much attention from men and probably a better class too.
...............................
A
female
reader, adamantine +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Beauty isn't everything. If you go around thinking everyone is jealous of you, its going to make you look conceited (if you aren't, already).Maybe they're jealous of your physical beauty, but I don't think they're jealous of who you are as a person. No one really wants to be the town whore, per se.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): I think it's great to show off your beauty and to be happy about it, but you seem to be a little over the top. There are plenty of beautiful women everywhere, of all shapes and sizes, and they don't all want to be you or to look like you.I would be careful at your age to dress provocatively, stylishly would be better as the former can attract the wrong type of attention. I'm not sure if by easy you mean you're having lots of sexual partners, or if you're a flirt. It's not a good idea to have too many partners, especially at your age.As for your friends, it's hard to say if their comments are due only to envy of the attention you're getting or due also to concern. If your sexual appeal is the only thing you can use to attract attention, there is something unhealthy about that which you need to try to change. It seems like maybe you're using your sexuality to make up for something lacking.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): OK you obviously believe that you are very atractive and you probably are, you come across very sure about yourself but I also think you are insecure cause you shouldnt care what your friends think. I agree that you perhaps shouldnt flaunt it, surely wouldnt it feel better to be a little more mysterious about whats under your clothes. Yep men are atracted to flirty sexy girls but they will only want one thing from you, surely it would be great to have a relationship not have easy as your name. Its never to late to change your tactics with men, but if your happy with the way you portray yourself to others then go ahead, but I think you must be worried about getting a bad reputation. If your beautiful be beautiful on the inside as well and be beautiful to yourself.
...............................
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (27 February 2011):
 it might be because they are jealous, BUT if people tell you that you are very flirty and you dress provocatively and that men like you because you are seen as easy then maybe they are on to something.
men DO like girls who are easy, and just because you get a lot of attention doesn't necessarily mean its all desirable attention.
you sound a bit full of yourself- confidence is positive BUT if anytime some tells you something you dont want to hear you see them as jealous then that is more arrogance than confidence. if you were really confident you wouldn't be so offeneded by these comments which of course you are otherwise you wouldn't have asked this question.
maybe dress a bit more stylish, and see what reaction you get from guys then. lots of men are interested in sex but that does not always lead to a relationship. it all depends on what you want from men...
...............................
A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (27 February 2011):
 I don't think your friends are jealous. I think it's because you dress in provacative clothing and put out.
You know the old saying right?
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
...............................
A
female
reader, Noczy  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Hello Dear,
Girls in our ages are stupid. (even maybe we are too)... I was trying to make friends 3 times but nothing happened. These girls are not good friends. I will talk in my name, cuz I dont know your friends. But with my fist "best friend" I started a relation with a boy... despite she would be happy, she tried to break my relation... And I was so blind. Even she told me those things that "This guy likes you only bcz he got you easily!" and so on... But I chosed the guy, and i forget the girl.
Next good friends. There were two girls I really loved! We were partying together, having a lot fun... Even I believed thats true and best friends... The only problem was that I had a bf they ddnt. I broke up with that guy, and soon another came. And they started those things what you wrote. Whatever I did they irritated me. Even they said that Im fat I should go and gym more (I was 58 kg, they were 62!)... One day that guy kicked me out... He cheated on me. The girls were so fucking happy, that You cant imagine! From that day always they mentioned that "Oo poor girl... Your bf cheated you!" ... It hurted me badly. Now im not talking to them. I changed school (not bcz of them) but we promised we will talk... and Im not searching their company!
And now... In the new school... There are 2 girls... Both of them acted that they like me. And now one told me that "If you again talk to that boy I ll never again talk to you"... so I forget that girl. And the other girl is always talking about herself that she bought lots of expensive clothes, she made love with hundred guys... (she thinks in that way I will be jealous).. She doesnt understand that this behaving make me run away... (even now I have a boyfriend from India, Im from Hungary... Should I mention how the girls react??? I think you can imagine!)
So I guess its better if you dont have any friends, than have bad friends... Be with them, party with them, but never say that they are your friends... cuz friends can hurt you the more! Ignore them, do whatever you want, and wait for the really best friend!
Hope I could help a little...
...............................
|
