A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i invited this guy from my college round for a party, by the end of the night it was just me and him, we spoke for ages and felt closer to him, which later led on to the most amazing sex i've ever had. a couple of nights after i went to talk to him, i mean why not we'd been good friends before. Anyway i went to speak to him when he told me out straight, i need to forget about this the girl im seeing wouldnt be too happy etc. I never knew he was seeing anyone and i couldnt believe how he could do that to someone. Even though he lied and im so angry i cant get stop thinking about that night, i need some ideas on helping me get over him. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, vamp-gal +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Sucks what happened, if it were me I'd be sharpening the pitchforks right about now.
Ok maybe not that extreme ...
So, in life we live and we learn, in this case you've learnt that not everyone is what they seem to be, you said you were sort of friends before that so it was probably a facade.
Basically, you just need to stay with your friends, hang out and have fun and when you meet a guy next, make sure he's really worth it, just remember not all guys are like that, so don't give up completely :)
Hope this helps x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Yes, find out who his gf is and tell her what he did.
That will help both of you get over him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Shit happens :( Let it go, he is just not worth the hassle.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (18 October 2010):
 You think women get used like this? Men do to.
Bottom line here is, you didn't know he was "seeing" someone. More to the point, he may not be seeing anyone in particular.
It sounds to me like you got a nice hookup, but that's all it was.
People get confused. "Seeing" someone does not equate to a sexually exclusive, monogamous relationship. For all you know, the guy's girlfriend could be hooking up with other guys too.
Rather than focus on how terrible you feel about this, just look at it this way. He's not going to have another chance with you, right?
So someone else will. Only next time, take the time to know who you're going to get intimate with. That's all. Or, not.
But random hookups, honestly, are just that. The sex may be amazing, but do you honestly think in that moment you were going to settle down with that guy? Raise a family? Whatever? No. Of course not!
So why are you furious with him? It took two people to have sex. That's what it was. Just sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): This is the problem when people sleep together before they've even had a cup of coffee. YOu got played, sister, and that can really hurt, but see this as a lesson you have to learn, not so much as a reflection on him. You keep your fabulousness to yourself next time, and find out exactly who you are sleeping with. Chances are, he will then see you as more than a one-night stand.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): This is why I stopped sleeping with guys before knowing them well. I think you should start doing the same.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 In only partial disagreement with "confusoholic " .
that you are angry, I understand it. In fact, you are nice to be only angry, if it were me I'd probably be out-of-my-mind furios.
As for "having the right " to be angry....I don't know .
It's "buyer beware ".
If the world were a better place than it is, if it where a place of loyalty and kindness, we could safely assume that anyone who approaches us for sex is single, has honest intentions and wants more than 10 minutes of casual fun. But- the world is not perfect and also contains quite a few people who will act in a questionable way.
It's up to us to find out what is what BEFORE something happens- since lust at first sight can reserve unpleasant surprises.
Don't feel too bad about this episode, though. Just live and learn.
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A
female
reader, absynthe +, writes (18 October 2010):
 chin up chick, men can be like that, you cant dwell your thoughts on him he is not worth your tears or energy, there are some good guys out there, there isnt many but there is one for you,
somebody for someone
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A
female
reader, confusoholic  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 I'm really sorry that this happened to you...he should have told you and never let things get so far.How mean and unkind...and think about the fact that he's cheated on his gf...he's so not worth it.
You have a right to be angry; but do realise its not your fault ... there was no way you could have known, right?
Anyhow, forget him...Just stay busy...you know what they say about an idle mind.
Hang out with friends, think happy thoughts...once you are better, start dating again...and be careful...always get to know the person before you sleep with him :)
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