A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am 34year old married man and she is 22 yrs god knows how but 3 years ago i very deeply fell in love with this girl and she was the one who proposed me that time even after knowing that i was married. i agreed and we were deeply involved, used to spend time every day even helped her in getting into medical college, we were so close that she even she slept with me, i looked after her every need be it money or anything else, the problem was this girl was also in love with other guy of her age, she intended to marry him in the near future after completeion of medical course, but at the same time she also wanted me to be in her life hidden from everybody. i was objecting for this, but i wanted her crazily hence i agreed, as for the guy i was jealous and i was not liking him and always had a feeling that this guy was not right for her, finally my fear came true it came in open that the guy whom she loved was already involved with other girl and even had made her pregnant, when my girl came to know about this she was shattered and asked me to intervene being possesive about her i intervened and warned that guy to get out of her life which he did but within say 15 - 20 days my girl started blaming me for the seperation and started distancing from me and finally left me for 2 years even she went to the extent of changing her mobile number, those two years were were very tough on me, i suffered a lot mentally and physicaly.it was a curse to see her carrying on the afair with the same guy, she was literally mad after him, and i use to see her going out with him even on holidays by lying to her parents that she has extra classes in her college, by the way she stays in front of my house, after almost 2 years she again started contacting me and wanted to come back in my life but with a baggage i.e i should't object or interfere in her relationship with that guy whenever she is with that guy i shouldn't call and first priority will be given to him as she doesn't want to loose him, even giving up my ego i agreed as i wanted her back in my life very badly, this time again she came very close to me even slept with me she also told that she wants a kid from me after she marrying him.sometimes even after controlling my jealousy i object when she does something wrong, if i do this she threatens me that she will leave me and recently she stopped all contact for 1 month in this period i started suffering from Blood pressure and even had to contact psychatrist as i was not stable couldn't concentrate on anything, now she has started meeting me less and wants me to agree upon that she will meet me when she wants and for 1 or 2 hours only, but with that guys she goes out for the full day even keeps her cell switched off, she like expensive thing which i dont mind in providing as i want her to be happy and to be with me at any cost, i also try everything to forget her but couldn't take her out of my mind.luckily for me in this whole scenario my family doesn't know this as so far i have suceeded in avoiding or exposing the suffering im going through, i want her very badly but i know she knows my weakness for her and she is using me, she keeps on telling me that she wont leave me ever and she needs me in her life but the priority of her life is him and if he leaves her then i will be the most luckiest person and she will be with me.In this whole case i would like to tell you my relation with my wife is very very good but i dont know why destiny has involved two females in my life. please advice and give some solution.
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fell in love, has a boyfriend, jealous, married man, money, on holiday, period Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): OP personallybelieve that u made your bed and now u should pay the price.
Your situation is as follows: in exchange for sex u need to pay her. Basically it means that u have your own prostitute. Lucky u!
Where /how does your wife feature in this tri relationship.
U have not heard anything the Aunts have advised and u basically do as u oplease. No amount of advice will work for u because u have no sense of right or wrong.
LoveGirl
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi ! I would like to inform that after 3 months of avoiding me she on her own came back at first i was not responding later on i agreed as i was feeling miserable without her and spoke and later on starterd meeting her, we began to meet as before, and she slept with me, now recently in one of good moods she insisted on me to confirm that i liked to sleep with her and it was pure lust from my side and not love, which i objected as i love her very much otherwise if i was intersted only in her body then why would i object if she is having an affair with the other guy. but she kept on insisting and later on i told i like to sleep with very much and also that i love her, she also confirmed that she love making love to me and she likes it, and she gave me an offer that she will allow me to have sex regularly in return i should fulfill her every wish, mainly monetary thing, and i should not object her seeing that guy.i agreed,and she told every time i sleep with her i should offer money, which i gave even if she didn't sleep,i have an intention of fulfilling her every requirement, but in fighting mood she taunts that even after she gining me so much sex i don't give her money, i dont understand how can one do this in the name of love.when she knows that i will do everything for her as i like her very very much, but my consice keeps on pricking me that this is not right, that when i have the intention fulffiling her wish, even then she shows this kind of attitude, now also she have started ignoring me and stopped contancting saying that we will only meet for sex and i should depoist her money in the bank, now what should one say about this.
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A
male
reader, krit  +, writes (16 April 2011):
 wow man!!!!you are the ultimate desperate creature alive on this planet earth. What you just wrote down clearly states that you have NO self-respect for yourself. WOMEN DONT LOVE OR RESPECT MAN WHO DOESNT RESPECT HIMSELF FIRST. she doesnt loves you and im pretty much sure that she doesnt even think of you. Dont believe on what she says as she got the trick to manipulate you.YOU are like father figure for her. you take of her,fulfill her all needs, pays for her tution,etcshe slept with you just to kind of repay for your this affection. i guess that shes doesnt belong to a financially sound family so shes using you.In anycase DONT take her BACK. YOU are ,for her a PROVIDER not a LOVER.
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A
male
reader, macdubh712  +, writes (15 April 2011):
Son, you need to do two things: re-discover your morals and have your testicles re-attached. When you do these two things this situation will fix itself.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (15 April 2011):
 PLEASE get out of this quagmire. That is the only solution. You, your lover and her partner are all caught up in a vicious circle, each cheating on the other...and there is no solution to this except breaking this chain once and for all.What solution do you want for this? You are happily fooling your wife with absolutely no regard for her, you want the other woman and that would apparently make you the "luckiest person"...i mean, where is all this going?? If you cant leave this lover of yours, then at least do the decent thing to tell your wife the truth, get a divorce and then carry on with your affair. You know it as well as we all do,this cannot go on for ever.Someday you will get busted, your wife will leave you and walk away, your lover will carry on with her own life, and you will be all alone. The sensible thing is to obviously leave this lover of yours and make work on your marriage. If your relationship with your wife was as good as you say, none of this would have happened. You're just fooling her to believe that its all good. Someday you will trip on your own foot if you dont mend your ways. Dont blame destiny for all this. You had the choice between right and wrong, you still do. If you still decide to be blind, no one can help you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2011): Use condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2011): Oh dear, there's a lot of going behind peoples back isn't there.I'm glad you're actually aware this girl is using you, because she is, and that's not all of it. You're far too 'love blind' to see this girl's true colours. Seems to me she doesn't want a relationship with you at all, looks like she actually gets off on the fact it's all hidden, and this boy of her own age certainly comes before you.You need to do your self a massive favour and drop this girl. She's clearly not right for you, she's too young for a start, too immature, she's using you and the list goes on. I think your wife deserves to know the truth. If you really want to wait for this 22 year old girl and you can actually picture yourself having a future with her, leave your wife, it's not fair on her.
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A
male
reader, welsh +, writes (15 April 2011):
All this and not a word for your wife. Who probably is paying the most for no mistake of hers.
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888  +, writes (15 April 2011):
 I really hate to break it to you my friend, but believe me, your relationship with your wife is far from good. You're just a good enough liar to create the illusion it is, so much so you begin to believe it yourself.As for your side girlfriend, she's using you. She's destroying your life and going to medical college whilst doing so.We can't blame destiny for this though.You are involved with two women because you chose to be-BUT, you can redeem; leave your mistress...make your own destiny if you will.
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