A
male
age
36-40,
*motionalboy49
writes:i am a 23 year old male, and i have a 14 year old friend i have meet and known for a while, we get on really well, and her parents seem to trust me and her.but i think i maybe fallin in love with her, and i think she feels the same way, im not sure what to do.can anyone offer any advise please?and i wont be tryin anything sex related till shes at least 16, prob more, even though she has already with other people. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, leana09  +, writes (30 September 2007):
hello emotionalboy49
i havent read all the answers, people had posted but it seems like they all think its ridiculous for you liking someone who is really young.
i am 16 and dating a 21 year old. its not as bad as yours tho. but i know what you are going through. you cant help liking someone. and my bf and i are not interested in sex at all, we are good freinds who care alot about each other. im in school and sometimes its hard because i see other guys who are my age and it would be alot easier to hang out with them. i only see my bf once every 2 weeks because i cant tell my mom who im going to be with. and i have temptations of dating them. but i think of my bf and how much fun we have together it makes everything worth it.
best of luck.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 September 2007):
 Look at the reality behind being with a child. Change your views. Look at it as something that can't happen, because it may cause harm to her, and if you do love her you don't want her to get hurt. And if someone doesn't approve of this sort of relationship, they may turn it over to the police there.
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male
reader, emotionalboy49 +, writes (27 September 2007):
emotionalboy49 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes that is what i want to do, and will try and just be her friend.but i find it really hard to be away from her, which sounds very bad for me, but i do know i will not do anything sex ralated with her as we both know it is wrong.I want help on how to stop myself feeling this love sick, for lack of another word, about her, im great when shes in the room, even if shes not talking to me, but when she leaves, i feel down and bored and dont know what to do with myself, can anyone offer any advise please.
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male
reader, emotionalboy49 +, writes (26 September 2007):
emotionalboy49 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know i shouldnt feel jelous or miss her but i do,
can any one offer me any advise, on how to help this, or what to do if i can do anything, without making myself feel worse.
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A
male
reader, emotionalboy49 +, writes (26 September 2007):
emotionalboy49 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know i shouldnt feel jelous or miss her but i do,
can any one offer me any advise, on how to help this, or what to do if i can do anything, without making myself feel worse.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): I do and dont agree with everyone on here, when you spend time with some one you do become close, and nothing outside of that matters ( you are in your own world together). Yes age does matter but being honest in this day and age girls mature quiet fast unless you live in the wilderness alone. Many mature beyond their ages.
I for example when i was 12 i fancied an older guy, i offered to babysit for them and became quiet close to the family, he was 38 and i basically threw myself at him. and looking back i broke him down until i got what i wanted from him. I lost my virginity to him, and i dont regret it. We are still friends. but dont have sex. I am now 18.
People you need to take a step back and see that in this world today there is change, there is no more pretty little innocent girls. Girls are becoming more forth right in what they want, and yes we tease, its human nature.
So if you want to tell her how you feel, do. If she dont feel the same way, then what have you lost?
Your not asking her for sex you are saying how you feel.
Oh and if anyone asks about my up bringing, ive had a loving family, parents are still together and are happy.
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female
reader, AylaJ +, writes (10 September 2007):
A relationship with her is inapropraite, to put it bluntly. But now that you've recognize these feelings you need to watch yourself... don't be like Michael Jackson (allegedly). You can't get your childhood back by taking away theres. Don't be romantic or sexual with this girl I agree with one of the posts, it forces her to grow too fast. Plus its illegal.
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male
reader, emotionalboy49 +, writes (9 September 2007):
emotionalboy49 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthat does actuali sound like me a little, i like to be young, and play around like a kid, as i didnt have a great child hood, and missed a lot of it cause of parental problems and i always wanted a little sister, to just talk to and have fun with, the kind of fun brother sister fun u can have.
and i guess that it what this is, and i just need to make sure it doesnt go any further and i can kind of help guide her in the right direction if u know what i mean, outright nothing to do with sex or anything.
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female
reader, bday121 +, writes (9 September 2007):
 9 years is a pretty huge age gap for how old this girl is. I don't understand how you could even like her, given how immature she must be compared to you. It's just a fact of life, 14 year old girls are silly and petty and immature. I've been there once. It's very odd for someone your age to be so interested in young teens, do you think maybe you're more on their level, mentally? That isn't meant to be insulting at all; I've known many men who didn't have a proper childhood and didn't have room to grow and mature.
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female
reader, Gemini1506 +, writes (8 September 2007):
I think you should see less of her gradually before you totally ignore her. Explain to her why you have to do it so she can undserstand
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female
reader, lisa21 +, writes (8 September 2007):
when i was sixteen i met a 22year old man, i loved the attention {i did not have sex with him, i was a virgin til i was 18.} before we were going out it was great, he bought me presents and i thought it was the best thing to happen to me, when we started going out it didnt last very long, he was fed up with me messing round with kids my age,and thought id get a boyfriend closer to my own age,and i hated it when he went to the pub, obviously i was too young to drink or even get into a pub, and thought he'd meet someone, i was right, but im glad i didn't stay with him because the age gap meant we didn't have much in common and i think he wanted me to grow up too fast to be at his level. i'm now 21 and my fiance is 20 and im glad to be with someone closer to my age.
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female
reader, lisa21 +, writes (8 September 2007):
when i was sixteen i met a 22year old man, i loved the attention {i did not have sex with him, i was a virgin til i was 18.} before we were going out it was great, he bought me presents and i thought it was the best thing to happen to me, when we started going out it didnt last very long, he was fed up with me messing round with kids my age,and thought id get a boyfriend closer to my own age,and i hated it when he went to the pub, obviously i was too young to drink or even get into a pub, and thought he'd meet someone, i was right, but im glad i didn't stay with him because the age gap meant we didn't have much in common and i think he wanted me to grow up too fast to be at his level. i'm now 21 and my fiance is 20 and im glad to be with someone closer to my age.
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (8 September 2007):
Hmmm...you might have the best of intentions by staying friends with her. However, many mistakes were created by having good intentions. Considering how you feel about her, I'd say that there might be a chance that a mistake could happen here.Yet, I don't think you should cut her out of your life completely if you think you can handle it. Limit your contact with her, and try not to do anything alone with her. That would keep any potential awkward situations away.
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reader, emotionalboy49 +, writes (7 September 2007):
emotionalboy49 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes i totaly understand what u r saying, and that is what i am going to do, im not going to do anything wrong or in any way unethical.does anyone thing it would be wrong if i stayed friend with her, or should i break all contact respecfully.thanks for comments.
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male
reader, emotionalboy49 +, writes (7 September 2007):
emotionalboy49 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes i totally understand what u r saying, and that is what i am going to do, im not going to do anything wrong or in any way unethical.does anyone thing it would be wrong if i stayed friend with her, or should i break all contact respecfully.thanks for comments.
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female
reader, Gemini1506 +, writes (6 September 2007):
dont go there. no matter what she says she is naive and she's inexperianced. your probably the first person that has shined to her so of course she's gonna be convinced that its more than a friendship. trust me i know i was 14 not that long ago.Let her have her childhood at least give her that before she resents you... and she will. why dnt u leave her only until she is at a suitable agei know we cant help who we fall in love with but you have to understand when somethings wrong
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reader, Jamer70 +, writes (4 September 2007):
 i think you should proberly adviod her for a little while as its not right for a 23 year old to like a 14 year old.
Hang around mates closer to your age and if you still have feelings for her in 4 years go for it.
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (4 September 2007):
Maybe you're also too close to her. Do you hang out with many other females? If not, you should start. It might take your attention off of her and you may start feeling the same way for one of them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): I think there is something seriously wrong with a 23 year old liking a 14 year old pubescent girl in this way, it is considered pedophilia in my country....are you very immature for your age? Do you fear intimacy and responsibility in relationships with women who are actually women and more your equal?
I would be very careful if I were you with this young girl, she doesn't need to be groomed for sex or a relationship of any kind with you, she is still a girl, I know that some girls her age are 14 going on 21, but it is an act, they are acting as if they know what being a cool adult is all about, and you will find that out if you start thinking straight....please find someone your own age, and don't touch her inappropriately.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): well, I know that if she's had sex eith other men, there's not much of a chance that you'll be able to wait 2 long years to have sex with her. She'll probabaly pressure you to, and tell you she's ready, etc. if you are dating her before she's 16. I wouldn't advise you dating a 14 y/o. I couldn't imagine wanting to date someone that young & inexperienced (with life) Are you mentally on a 14 year old's level? I just can't comprehend why you'd even think twice..or even be interested in having a close friendship with a 14 year old. I could never do it, to me that is a child still & you're a grown man. But you'll do whatever you want, so I'd just advise to stay away until she's legal.
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female
reader, 88jane +, writes (4 September 2007):
 If you really like this girl then i would suggest not talking your relationship further until she is 16-like the other agony aunt said--see how the friendship progresses because when she is so young the age gap really does make a difference. If you like her then wait for her to be a bit older! she needs a little more time to mature and focus on her education!
take care, i hope it goes well!
xxxx
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female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (4 September 2007):
 give your friendship time and when shes 16 then see how it goes and take it from there you both are in too differnt age groups when she is 18 youll be 27 and itsnt as bad with the 9 year gap as it is now so dont try anything
im sure you both want differnt things
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