A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey....ive recently just told my parents i am bisexual, and that i have a boy friend. and i think it is best to say all was n ot taken very well!! im 16 and live in the uk, my b/f is 15 buh turns 16 in february, i no the age of consent over here is 16 but we are not sexually active. is there any harm in me seeing him?? but my parents are saying im not bi, im just confused and that it is my boy friends fault because he is an influence on me and im not allowed to see him or have any contact with him what so ever. but i know ive been bi for about 3 to 4 years now, long before i met my boyfriend, i just feel they are using it as an excuse rather then facing the truth. i just wondered if you have any suggestions, its making me extremely depressed, and i havent seen my boyfriend for nearly a month now and i love him so much.yours sincerely
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): I think that if you haven't you should tell your parents that you have known that you were bi before you met your now boyfriend. Try to explain to them that it is not a phase and continue to date your boyfriend. I also that think that they would't want something this small that doesn't change who you are to make your relationship with them bad.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (28 September 2007):
 So what they are saying is your boyfriend makes your decisions for you? It can't happen. You have a mind of your own to think, say, and do what you choose to. You do, and you're the only one who has the power to do so. That's like saying he's able to say "come here, you're now bi sexual" the magic cloud consumes you and boom, there you go, new identity.
You're parents are trying to protect you, but sometimes instead of protecting out children, it's better to listen to them and understand them. Their afraid and in denial.
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A
male
reader, lboy +, writes (5 September 2007):
 dear reader,i think you have the right idea about your parents not wanting to face the truth. i think you should just sit down with your parents and give them a wake up call, tell then your bi, you have been for years and will be for many years to come and t6hat if they cannot accept them then they are practically disowning you. this should be the wake up that they need, tell them you are going to continue seeing your bopyfriend and that they acnnot stop you no matter what they say or try to do. i would suggest telling your boyfrined why you haven't seen him ands let him now how you feel about him and let him know that you are not going to give up on you and him that way he will make sure you get the support that you need if it comes to desperate measures and your parents refuse to let you leave the house and keep you locked in your room then i suggest you call the police. THAT should give your parents a definate wake up call, trust me that all they need for now.good lucklboyxxx
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (4 September 2007):
 You're right, they are using it as an excuse rather than facing the truth. You know who you are.
You might point out to them that this is about who you fall in love with, not what gender you want to have sex with.
At this age you can't really see someone if your parents are so dead set against it. But here's what you do: be calm and reasoned. Keep up with the same message, and don't loose your cool. (It's really hard to argue with someone who's not getting emotional, believe me. They just seem like they know what they want.) If you're yelling "that's not fair!" they'll just go into parent I-know-what's-best mode and stop listening to you. Remind them that eventually you will be able to date whomever you want.
Get your parents some materials from PFLAG ( http://www.pflag.org/International_PFLAG_Groups.international.0.html ) so that they know a little more about what's going on. And continue to be who you are without pushing it in their faces, so that they don't have to resist accepting it.
If it's meant to be you and your bf will be together when you're either old enough or your parents finally come to their senses. If not, then your parents will still have to deal with the next bf...
Good luck.
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