A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I have a question. I have been with my husband 11 years. We have 2 kids. I just found out at the end of the year he has cheated on me twice and has two kids with two different girls. I feel betrayed and don't know what to do. I don't know if I should leave him we just had a kid last year and he swears he's not with those girls any more but I feel he still sees the most of the last baby he had. The girl came to my house and played the part that she's not with him but she's lying because I know for a fact he still calls her. I told him to leave but he doesn't want to. He claims he doesn't want to lose his family. I don't trust him and I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, hmcm  +, writes (27 June 2011):
you and your family is what counts now ! your mind will be in turmoil over this and quite rightly so, but ask yourself this, heas cheated on you twice now i know it can happen but he must have been seeing both girls more than once to get them both pregnant so heas been having an affair its not just been one night stands, and you say he still calls one of them, think about your own wellbeing and that of your children, it will be hard for a while but you will get better, or you could stay and have a lifetime of heartache liars ,cheats dont change
A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (26 June 2011):
you.ve got to get tough with him now tell him you want him to go and if he won.t you will go see a soliciter about it how can you possibly trust him again after cheating on you twice and having kids with these women you deserve so much better good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2011): this guy is a coward. He doesn't care about losing his family, if he really cared he wouldn't have cheated twice, and gotten both women pregnant. he's just afraid of divorce because he's probably now paying child support to those 2 women so he doesn't want to have to pay child support to you as well, he's scared for his personal finances and how his bank account will be hurt by divorce that's the only reason he doesn't want to leave you. especially because if you were to divorce him, with his infidelities resulting in new children the divorce court would really slam him and he could be ruined financially. He knows that, which is why he's hoping to avoid divorce. he's selfish (as are men who cheat on their wives so that's no surprise).you should leave him. your marriage can't be saved when he's still lying to you even now, and you will have a hard time ever forgiving him because those other children will be in your life forever and a constant reminder. Don't care what he says any more. You should file for divorce. when he cheated and fathered children with other women behind your back, he lost any right to have any say whatsoever in your marriage and your family!!
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A
female
reader, hopeFUL_romantic_13  +, writes (25 June 2011):
Everyone else here hit the mark. If he didn't want to lose his family, the thought of cheating wouldn't have crossed his mind. And with TWO women. He cheated on you with two women and knocked them both up. I remember reading it somewhere about a cheating husband who didn't use a condom and his wife was diagnosed with HIV. He clearly doesn't really care seeing how he has exposed you to diseases and bacteria. This man is a prime example of the ones out the who are weak and indulge themselves in that moment of pleasure. He is no longer worthy of your love and trust. When it comes to a cheating spouse, I say once and gone. If he did it once, he can do it again. It's not so much the fact that he doesn't want to lose his family as he just doesn't want to become a hermit. Knock his *** to the curb and say, "That will teach you!"
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A
female
reader, a_maldita  +, writes (25 June 2011):
 Yes for me if my husband would cheat that is unacceptable. Once done he can do it again easily... Cheating is unjustifiable but if you love him that much and you think you can still trust him then go ahead and give him a chance...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011): I'm not surprised you don't trust him. There is nothing to trust. He has lied and cheated on you with two women and made both pregnant. Exposed you to infection and disease because he did not think to use protection with either of them. He continues to lie to you by having contact with one of the women but he denies it. And by producing more children with other women, he has potentially brought you financial hardship. If these women ask for child support from him. Which they have every right to do. He could spend many years barely able to afford a bus ticket! He has brought betrayal, shame, hurt, potential hardship, even the threat of disease to your door. All in all, he sounds an appallingly selfish and silly creature.Now he surveys the wreckage of his marriage and says HE doesn't want to lose the family? He is being incredibly selfish and insults your intelligence with that argument. He knows he willing traded you and the family for sex with these women. He knew if he got caught, you would quite rightly ask him to leave. At some point he weighed up the chances of you finding out and his ability to talk his way out of any trouble. He thought he could pull it all off if need be and not suffer any consequences. And so he went ahead and slept with them. Those are not the actions of a man who loves you and wants to keep you with him.I know sometimes things can seem almost too much to cope with. And it is easy when you have been hurt to fall into a pit and feel emotionally frozen. But you really need to take control of the situation, gather your strength and throw him out. Because he is no good for you. Don't be scared about the future. You will be okay. Things will be a lot brighter once he has moved out and you are in control of your own life. Just have faith in your abilities. You might well surprise yourself x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 June 2011):
You leave him. Period.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (25 June 2011):
 He claims he doesn't want to lose his family? If he didn't want to lose his family, he wouldn't have betrayed you in the first place! Do you want to be with someone who gave two other women babies? While he supposed to be yours only? That is a huge betrayal.If he doesn't want to leave, then you leave. You can't trust him anymore.
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