A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I know this isn't the usual type of question for this site, but I pray you will help me anyway.there's this guy at school, who is spreading vicious lies about me [he's telling everyone I told him i'd be happy if he killed himself] when I didn't, I would never ever say things like that to anybody! People are starting to believe him too, and when I tried to ask him why he was telling people, he said he didn't wish to discuss the matter with me whilst I was 'acting innocent'. I really don't want people thinking that I would say such a thing, and even my friends are questioning whether or not I did it because of how convincing he is being, please help.[I would once again like to say I didn't say it and would never ever say anything like that to anybody] Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): "just because someone throws you a ball; you don't have to catch it"
there is a possibility that he wants to be connected to you in some way. this rumour that he has started does exactly that. your peers are speaking of you and him in the same breath.
if you are not concerned about him, ride it out and try to laugh it off. it's not your problem and you don't need to become involved.
you have your life, he has his, but for some reason he has decided to involve you in his, do you want that?
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (28 March 2012):
 I wouldn't worry about it. think of internet trolls. They will say shit just to cause a situation to be worse. He wants your situation to be worse, for whatever reason. I think that he just wants the attention and that he is a loser.Don't let it affect you, and if it does, don't show it. See it for what it is, a way for you to find out who your real friends are, and who the fake people in your life were.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 One of the best things you can do is not lose your cool when he says anything or when other people say things. If you get mad then it tends to look like he is telling the truth. I would definitely let your friends see that you are upset over this and that you would never say something like that.
I remember dealing with people like that, they are just really low people and I don't think dealing with him will help anything. Put your efforts to the people around you and once they see that you are sincere they will tune this loser out. He'll stop when people stop beleiving him or they just get sick of hearing it.
Try not to let it get to you too much. Your friends should stick by your side if they are in fact friends.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): Thank you all for taking the time to read and answer. TasteofIndia-I had supposedly messaged him this over a social networking site, but I didn't have access to the internet at the time he's accusing me of sending it, and he refuses to produce any form of evidence of me saying it. [There is also no trace of it in my inbox on the website, and every time I send/receive a message, I get an email, and I have no email in my inbox saying that a message had been sent to him, so hacking is not a possibility] So if anybody is making it up, it is him, but I never thought of it as a cry for help.And Plexi, I did try talking to him the moment I heard him saying it, and he said that whilst I was acting all innocent and making out like I hadn't done it, he didn't want to talk to me. Once again, thanks for taking the time to answer
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A
male
reader, Masterofpuppets +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Well I feel that you might have to let this thing play itself out. If you didn't say this to him then you have nothing to worry about. I know it's tough to be at the receiving side of nasty rumors and it can be A blow to your esteem if people think badly of you but if your friends are truly your friends they would understand that it is just A rumor and nothing more be strong in your own convictions and walk proud and all this will pass in time .
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A
female
reader, Plexi +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Try talki g to him and find out if there was a misunderstanding........it is possible that he took something you said and turned it around in his head to make it sound like you did say that or maybe he is trying to hurt you be trying harder to help him or do something when he was feeling down?? Either way, you need to talk to him when he is alone and not busy so you can understand what's going on in his head and so you can have a chance to explain yourself and tell him how you feel
Hope this helps hun and that it will blow over fast!
HUGS
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A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (27 March 2012):
 I'm sorry this guy is doing this to you... My suggestion would be to just continue to deny saying this. I mean, what else can you do? People will always talk about someone or something, so all you need to do is keep telling the truth. "I didn't say that to him. I don't know why he's saying I did, but I didn't", and then move on.
If you continue to do this and the rumor won't die down (which I'm sure it will- people will find something new to gossip about), you could always go to the school counselor and request a meeting with this kid. The three of you could talk it out, and maybe then you can find out why he made up this lie in the first place.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Personally, I'd write him a letter.. since he won't listen to you when you chat, I'd write a letter saying something like...
"I'm terribly sorry that you've heard a rumor that simply isn't true. I would hate anybody thinking I wished them death, especially so vicious a statement as I wished that you would kill yourself. It is my deepest sorrow and concern that it is being said that I would wish such a horrific thing on you, and moreso that you believe that is something I have said.
If you ever feel upset, sad or are considering suicidal actions, you can always talk to me, a counselor or call 1-800-273-8255, which is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.
Please take care of yourself, and know that I apologize for this rumor going around - but there is no truth in it whatsoever.
Sincerely,
(Your name)"
After that, any time you hear the rumor, say that was never said and that they're getting bad information. As 'eyes' said, don't bring it up or pursue this any further than giving a letter and letting that sit.
I only recommend a letter, as it could be that this is a cry for help from him... and I personally would have to address concern for his well-being.
Good luck, sweet!! What a crappy situation.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 March 2012):
 If anyone asks you tell them you never said it, but don't you bring it up anymore or pursue the matter any further. Rumors and stories like this have very short shelf lives, and will fade to dust soon enough.
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