A
male
age
41-50,
*hilManco
writes:This is a very general question, based on the numerous questions that I see posted about couples dealing with one partner's sexual past.How many sexual partners have YOU had? Do you regret the number, be it big or small? How many "one-night-stand" sexual encounters have you had?If you're posting anonymously, please post your gender. I'm curious to see how the sexes differ in their answers.Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2011): 37 yr old male. 2 partners- long-term gf and my wife. I regret the girl before my wife. I was lied to and made to feel special. Later, I find out that I was one of 3 dozen penises she'd had inserted into her. The only good thing of being with my first is that I don't have the question of what it would be like to be with another woman compared to my wife.
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (16 May 2008):
 Not at all, no regrets, in fact I think I could have had more. Only 6: 3 one night stands, 2 partners and my husband.
I was instantly turned off by a guy who claimed he loved me on the 2nd date just to do the obvious. I had more respect for a guy who was obvious about it, and didn't make it out to be more than it was.
I have to say, that I think you feel happy if you are with somebody with a similar number of partners (or so they say) rather than somebody who has had 20. Unless of course you are in the same situation, you would relate to eachother a bit.
It all depends on your age and when you meet that Mr or Mrs right. Perhaps we all have different experiences, in common with perhaps we have all had different numbers of jobs, and some people move house more than others.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): 33yr old male. 6 partners, 2 of them were one nighters.
In my experience, the larger the number of partners someone has, the more apt they are to think that "numbers don't really matter." Men and woman with fewer partners rarely feel like it's "just sex," so numbers hold much more of a significance to them. That's part of the reason why their numbers are lower!
It also seems like, the more partners you've had, the less you begin to regret them.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): i'm 19, female and i have had 9 partners. None of them were just one night stands. I regret some of them because I was lead to believe I was really liked, when in reality I was just a game to these men. In my opinion numbers don't really matter though.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): Im 22 years old
I have had 2 partners and 2 one night stands
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): 22 yrs old female, virgin, but I have been active by means of oral sex with 2 partners. obviously, 0 one night stands.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): age 27 - 4 girlfriends, 2 friends and 1 one night stand.
I only regret one of the friends and that's because she was quite ugly. good shag, but ugly nonetheless.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): I hate to keeping agreeing with Oblivia :) , but I think that she is entirely correct. I think I see that from my own life and the questions and answers that many people post here.
I also wonder something else. My wife regretted the partners that were 1 night stands and the ones that she knew at the time would go nowhere. She regretted this before she met me but finally realized that she could not admit that because that would mean that she would have to admit to herself that she was cheap. I wonder if other men and women regret parts of their sexual history for that reason, but cannot admit that.
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female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (31 October 2007):
 35 yrs. 9 partners 0 one-night stands. I don't regret them, I had honest intentions in all cases :)
It would be interesting to see an update from you with the calculated results. I have a hypothesis: Will the results reflect the inequality of the societal norms which in most places say that women should have few partners to be a good woman and men should have many to be an experienced stable guy when he settles, and that this leads to women with many partners and men with few partners, feel that they have an issue and hence look for advice columns like dearcupid?
Just a hypothesis, that is :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): Im 26 Female and I have had 12 partners 0 one night stands.
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male
reader, PhilManco +, writes (31 October 2007):
PhilManco is verified as being by the original poster of the question To be fair, I'll answer my own question. I'm 28 and I've had three sexual partners. The first was my first "real" girlfriend (we met in college), who I was with for over 5 years. Knowing how the relationship eventually ended, I regret staying with her for so long.
After that relationship ended, I had a single "one-night-stand" with a fellow MBA student while finishing up grad school. It involved plenty of alcohol and I was embarassed about it afterwards, but at the time I wasn't having much luck dating and I just needed to feel sexually attractive. I felt like a heel afterwards. I don't regret it, but I'm not proud of it.
Third is my current g/f, who I've been with for one year now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): Male 30y. 3 partners, 0 O.N.S Havent been single since 17. A lot of good sex and growing together with my partners
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (31 October 2007):
 Male, 34. 15 total, 2(ish) of which were one-night stands.
My experience has been that this amount is pretty average (perhaps on the high side), but then about one it ten people have MUCH higher numbers. I have several friends who number over 100, and a few who are at the 30 to 50 level. ie, there is a small minority who are very active, and then the rest of us.
I have regrets about some, but in general not. I mainly regret the one night stands, which were very un-fulfilling.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): Im a female of 23
I have had 3 sexual relationships and 1 night stand
I do not regret the number nor the encounters. I feel i gained experience and can now perform great in bed. Im now engaged and am not wishing for more sexual partners.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): I'm Female and 21
I've had 3 partners and 0 one night stands.
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female
reader, Seratuki +, writes (31 October 2007):
 I'm 27, and I've had 3 sexual partners and 3 one night stands...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): 30 yr old male here,
21 partners and 9 of them were one nighters.
do i regret it, no because it was fun and i didnt know my wife at the time. i think once you are past 5 or so and you are comfortable with being a sexual person, go for it! live it up! but i did have to lie to my wife about the numbers. i believe that telling her the truth would hurt her more, possibly ending the marriage. i am comfortable knowing that it is best this way, i love her and the women of my past are exactly that.
on the plus side, being with more partners makes you be in tune with the wide variety of sexual behaviors of different people. perhaps making you a better lover as well.
best wishes and don't worry about it, you can live happy with either decision. my advice...be carefree. best of luck.
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male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (31 October 2007):
I am 43 and have had 12 steady sexual relationships and seven one night stands.
I don't consider this large or small and do certainly not regret it.
It has never bothered me how many parners any partner of mine has had and have not expected my past to have bothered them in any way either.
Hope this helps with your survey - let us know what conclusions you arrive of through it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): Me, male, 5 partners, including 1 one night stand.
My wife, 12 partners, including 2 or 3 one night stands.
These include each other.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): I'm 24 and a virgin. I don't regret it. Waiting for marriage will be worth it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): I'm 21 and I've had 1 partner and 0 one night stands
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): 41, lucky to not catch anything, not too many one-nighters, mostly just in and out of relationships.
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male
reader, Dextro69 +, writes (30 October 2007):
 im 30 and and 1 partner and 0 one night stands (not for the want of trying) before i met my current partner i did regret it but now i dont. ive learnd not to regret anything you do as you cant change the past.
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female
reader, superdopah +, writes (30 October 2007):
im 19 and had 1 partner 0 one nighters
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