A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 11 months. He is great, he has never cheated on me and I'm positive he never will because he has such good morals and high standards with how to treat women. Knowing this I do not understand why I am such a jealous girlfriend. He doesn't mind when I go hang out with guy friends or whatever but when he spends time with other girls even if it is just at his work I feel so jealous and angry. I don't know why, giving that I totally trust him. I think the one thing that could ruin our relationship would be him getting sick of me being overly jealous and obsessive. So how do I overcome jealousy? And why am I such a jealous girlfriend?
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His best friend is a girl and I'm so jealous. How can I overcome this jealousy? My girlfriend is jealous of my female friend. How can i deal with this? How do I conquer my jealousy? How can I stop being so jealous? |
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): jealousy is normal mental state function of the brain, which is trigger when you are compromise by a situation you are in. Which brings up jealousy, dont be afraid or mad, its better to be jealouse if the guy is cheating its better to breakup. Anyways every girl is pretty, cute, sexy, everything about a girl is something magical no matter your appearance or thoughts alll its matters is u, think about yourself 1st. its better to make friends with other girls then a guy who will bring u down.
A
female
reader, MeowMix86 +, writes (30 August 2007):
 The fact that you want to overcome it rather than lose him shows that you are already on the right track. You've got a good head on your shoulders and honey, we are all jealous at some point in our lives...I'm dealing with some jealously issues right now in my relationship. Its alot to handle isn't it? You just get so angry and want to say things that could be potentially harmful to the relationship. You can't take back words. Keep that in mind.
I can't tell you why your jealous exactly, you have to figure that out on your own but perhaps I can help provide some kind of hint. When you know he is with another girl, perhaps at work like you described, how does that make you feel? Does it make you feel like "why is he talking to them when he has me?" That could translate to you feeling like "Why am I not enough for him." Or do you feel like, "Are they doing somthing I don't want them to do?" This could translate to, "Is he lying to me. What is he hiding?!" Do you feel you are being naive in trusting him?
For whatever reason you feel jealous, one thing remains clear. You doubt him and that probably hurts him. Men need to feel they are trusted, loved and accepted just the way they are. There is a number of ways to approach your jealously.
1.)You can deal with it when it comes:
This guy sounds like a good guy. If he truly emits the morals you say he does, then why would you doubt him. Men are going to have women friends and women are going to have men friends. That is the way things are. So try to accept that as an unchanging fact. Even if you told him not to hang out with them anymore, would that make him suddenly not want to hang out with them? Of course not. So there is not need to change how he acts naturally when you aren't around. Remember, accept him just the way he is!
He holds you in much higher regard then he holds them. You are his girlfriend. You are special and receive attention from him that they won't! So try not to stress so much. I know its easier said than done, but it will benefit you and him. When you feel jealously rearing it's ugly head, try talking to a friend rather than bringing it up to him. If they are a good friend, they will give you the sense you need by telling you that you are paranoid and you don't have anything to worry about. That always helps. Or write down everything you feel and relieve your obsessed mind of some of the tension. When you see him or talk to him later, DO NOT OBSESS OVER DETAILS. If he says they went to a movie, then accecpt it. Leave it at that.
2.)You can try to meet him half-way:
Try hanging out with him and his friends. If they meet you and think your totally cool, then you will allow him to realize that you trust him and are confident in yourself. Plus, you will have them on your side if he wants some girlfriend advice.
3.)You can tell him upfront:
Try to put names on the feelings you feel when he is with some female friends. Not just jealously, but what else? Anger, confusion, perhaps anxiety. Figure it out and once your sure (as sure as you can be) go ahead and have a talk with him. Make sure it is in a calm setting. Sit side by side with him and in a very calm manner, try to explain to him how you feel. Don't be afraid to be completely honest. As much as he doesn't like argueing, neither do you! Ask him for help. Maybe he can provide some suggestions and he will be happy that you trust in him enough to ask for his advice.
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