A
female
age
30-35,
*arawr
writes:I've been with this guy since October 28th, 2007. Our 2 year anniversary is coming up here shortly, but I find myself not being in love with him anymore.I'll try to make this as short as I can.He was in the Army when I met him, but he hadn't finished AIT. He was only supposed to be there for about 3 months, but it ended up being 6 because he was trying to get discharged by failing his physical test. He decided that he was tired of me crying about him being gone, and tired of the whole military scene.He ended up going AWOL. He stayed at a friends house for a few days, but he refused to tell me where he was for a while, and he wouldn't answer his phone most of the time. I was scared and could do nothing but cry.He went back to his base, and finally got discharged after a while. Thing is, I didn't know about him being home until 2 days later. All of our friends knew before me, and they ended up having a party at his house. I was calling his mom, having a nervous breakdown because I missed him, but he told her that he didn't want me knowing that he was home, as a "surprise," even though he knew that I was very sad.Needless to say, that upset me greatly.I noticed a change in him when we finally were reunited. He was bossy, and only seemed to be thinking of himself. He was telling me that he was going to move to a different state with his buddy, and that I had to stay behind for about a year, for example. I fought him on that. I told him that he was treating my like a child by not letting me choose what I do.I think it's either the distance, the military or something else that made him different. Here's a list of things he's done in the past 2 years...Told a girl via text that he wanted to have sex with her. Told a girl on his Yahoo that he wanted to take a shower with her. Told a girl that if I made him mad once more, he would dump me and go be with her. Made out with his guy friend, even though he knew I wasn't okay with him kissing anyone besides me. Joined pretty much every dating site out there. Exchanged naked pictures with girls. Purposely looked for girls to flirt with online. Lied to me about not smoking for a year.He's done more, but this is all I can think of right now.I've never cheated on him. The only bad thing I've done to him was be pretty strict. I would throw a fit if he didn't call me every night. I made him stop smoking. I would kind of keep him to myself. But it was only after I stopped being like this did he start acting like a jerk.I moved in with him November of last year. My parents have no problem taking me back in, as long as I'm positive about not being with him.He hasn't done anything bad to me in the past 4 months or so. He may have really changed this time. But I find myself unable to trust him. What should I do? How should I break up with him? Give me as much advice as you can.
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anniversary, discharge, flirt, kissing, military, moved in, nude pictures, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tarawr +, writes (1 August 2011):
Tarawr is verified as being by the original poster of the question Alrighty, guys. I dumped him! I left him May 31st, because he thought I was cheating on him. Funny, right? Anyway, I'm with a really great guy who treats me well, and never does any of that sneaky, underhanded stuff that I had become so very accustomed to. Things are a little rocky at the moment, but nothing within our relationship is bad. We're just going through a bad situation.
A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (13 October 2009):
 Good Luck and let us know how it went!
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A
female
reader, Tarawr +, writes (12 October 2009):
Tarawr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help, everyone, even if your advice was a bit harsh. I talked to my family, and my brother said that if I want him to, he'll come over Tuesday or Wednesday to get me. I know it won't be too easy on me, but I'll try to be strong.
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (11 October 2009):
 He sounds like a total jerk and you would either be stupid or just determined to make it work to stay with him through all that. I would dump him as quickly as possible...tuesday, trash day and your ass is dumped! You sound like a good person so you shouldnt put up with that! If you let them get away with it once theyll do it again and again! You give them an inch and they go a mile! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (11 October 2009):
 Pack your bags, tell him you're gone, walk out the door and NEVER let a man treat you like he did.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009): He may have really changed this time? Ha! Since when did pigs grow wings and learn to fly?
The fact that he has behaved himself for the last 4 months is nothing. He has done ten times more than was necessary to earn the status of "dumped."
Do him a favor and give him the old heave-ho, aka "there's the door, walk through it and never come back" award.
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A
female
reader, dididoo +, writes (11 October 2009):
leave the jerk!
you know he is one, now have the courage to do something about it!
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet +, writes (11 October 2009):
How to break up with a Jerk:
Step One: Arrange to meet him at a public place where you can have some privacy. For example a restaurant.
Step Two: Tell him that he has cheating on you and that is unacceptable. You dislike his lack of care and respect to you. Add anything else you want to say. Then end with I think it is time to end things and move on. (Or something similar to that effect.)
Step Three: Leave where ever you are at and go to a friend, parent, or family's home.
Step Four: Do not contact him and move on.
Good Luck!
Just a bit of advice, try not to be so strict in the next relationship and don't throw a fit if the guy doesn't call you. Being strict will only cause the other person to get stressed out and will resent you for it.
Feel free to message me if you want to talk and please update!
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A
male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (11 October 2009):
 He is a complete toolbag. Please, please dump him. You can do so much better!
As to how, just straight up call him, ask him if you can meet up with him somewhere, see him, tell him how you feel, and say goodbye.
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A
female
reader, BehindThese HazelEyes +, writes (11 October 2009):
 honey he sounds like a complete jerk, dump him, believe me you deserve so much better...if hes already done all that stuff u said, who says he wont do it again? find a guy who loves you and only you...good luck!
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