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He broke it off with me and went back to his wife. Now he is trying to get back with me again!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 October 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 13 October 2009)
A female United States age , *mlynn61 writes:

My fellow left his wife x 2 months, then he went back to her didn't call me for 9 days then started calling with the excuse he wanted to check on me see if I was all right - when he left it was clear he was letting me go sat at my table and said so - i refused to answer his calls then he comes to my house - calls me everyday and wants to see me then on Saturday and Sunday doesn't call I refuse to call him - I love him deeply but feel I am wasting my time I just don't see him leaving her again he says because of his grandbabies please give some advice be assured I do love him desparately

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009):

you were having an affair with a married man. he left his wife for you. then he left you for his wife. now he wants you. he goes back and forth like a ping pong ball.

yep , he is scum and the person he gets with will be considered the same if she knowingly helps him commit adultery.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009):

Just because someone leaves their wife obviously means they just left their wife! It does not mean it is over!!! You are a fool and an adulteress. Shame on you. Marriages have ups and downs and if there were not whores like you out there who just ease the pain and therefore rob him of feeeling some pain he may need to feel to fix his marriage then you are the problem. What you think he really loves you and you desperately love him? You don't even know him you are obsessed. That is not real love. Real love is companionship, passion, and COMMITMENT. It is an action not a feeling that wanes. By going back he is demonstrating he loves his wife. You are just an option to ease his pane in case he doesn't make it. That is all you are!!!!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (11 October 2009):

Do you get the feeling that he's using you? I do. you're better than this, so forget this guy, give yourself time to heal and move on. Find a guy who will actually commit to you.

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A female reader, sarcy24 United Kingdom +, writes (11 October 2009):

sarcy24 agony auntScumbag. Don't take him back again or he will just go between the two of you boosting his ego. I feel for you and for his wife. I know you love him but he really isn't worth the love. You have to remember if he will cheat on his wife and come to you it is likely he would do the same to you as he clearly feels no guilt or remorse for his actions. Cheaters also tend to cheat again. Difficult I know but I suggest you cut all ties with him and it will make you happier in the long run.

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A female reader, smlynn61 United States +, writes (11 October 2009):

smlynn61 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks you aren't the only that thinks he's a scumbag

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A female reader, smlynn61 United States +, writes (11 October 2009):

smlynn61 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks, this helps make my decision to discontinue this relationship as it is a vicious cycle - so I'm changing the cell number

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009):

You "love him desperately"? Please, don't be so foolish. What's to love about this selfish, cheating scumbag?

Besides which, he isn't "your fellow"; he's his wife's fellow - or would be if he had even a smidgen of loyalty to her and his marriage vows!

At least you know you are wasting your time on this sorry excuse for a man........

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A female reader, sunnycomet Canada +, writes (11 October 2009):

sunnycomet agony auntI am sorry that you love him but am glad you realize you would only be wasting your time on him. I am sure that you already guessed that if he was allowed he would switch between you and his wife when it suits him.

Move on and keep your head held high. Keep on ignoring him-you deserve better then him.

Good Luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009):

Grandbabies or children are one of the factor that will hold on a family. He is the father or grandfather of those children and that can't be changed. Because of that, his x wife and family will always be part of his life.

You need to have a serious talk with him. Tell him that you are ok if he meet his x wife or family but not the no contact or anything similar.

If he cares your feeling, he will know the right things to do. If there isn't any changes, I am sorry, keep it going will only hurt you endlessly in a cycle.

Easier said than done but try to keep it in mind, the pain will grow if you prolong a relationship that will never work.

Best of luck.

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