A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can someone get over someone when it hurts really bad? I'm in deep pain.. I hurt and I feel my life is on hold. I just miss him all the time and he doesn't want to even talk to me. He doesn't respond to my calls or texts.. He took advantage of me and fulfilled a sexual needs a while ago and now he doesn't want anything to do with me..The scary part is that I forgive him.. and I still want to be with him so bad it's eating me up inside..I don't like me anymore because I feel this way for him.. Is there anything.. ANYTHING I can do to overcome this ? Anything I can do to break free and stop thinking about him??Please.. I'm lost.. and my heart is broken... :'(
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): therea a book called its called a breakup because its broken it really helped me , i k now what your going through my partner has left me time and time again and my weakness for him and his lies robbed me of 4 years of my life and self esteme set the boundaries now and dont try and trick your heart into thinking you could have him back he will do it again you want a relationship that easy and normal some men are just scoundrels what goes round comes round and one day your rat of a man will be crying over you x
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010): You'll have to sit down with some friends and/or family and talk to them about your situation. You have to consider your priorities in life and your options, but most importantly don't do it alone.
There are three options with pregnancy: abortion, adoption and keeping the child. Personally I don't consider adoption as an option but that's just me.
Emotionally you must be all over the place at the moment, so it's time to get focused and start getting as much help and information as you can. The best thing now is to get as informed as possible and come up with a plan of action. His opinions and actions have no bearing on this at all, so only consider him as someone you will have to deal with based only on whether you want to hunt him down for maintainance or not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOne more problem... I just found out that I'm pregnant!!! I haven't been with anyone but him, so it has to be him.. Oh my I'm a mess... What should I do??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): I've been through the intense pain you are feeling. What helped me was looking at the situation as an opportunity to improve myself. You have nothing left to lose so you can find yourself again by going back to things you love and seeing friends as much as possible. Time to be brave and live your life with an open heart! This is best healing mentality that even happened to me, but it wasn't easy! Bu once I was so brokenhearted, I eventually broke free from so many fears and lived my life with a new sense of meaning because it was either sink or swim.
This can be a great opportunity for you to be "reborn" and eventually attract the kind of person you truly deserve.
Eventually my ex actually wanted me back and said he noticed a real change in me. I took him back, and months later, it's so hard to believe that the man I cried over with such intense pain and would have done anything for, was not in fact the man I wanted to be with!!
You attracted this guy who hurt you because you were not feeling totally great about yourself. Now is your opportunity to change that and learn love yourself. What you are feeling isn't abnormal so don't beat yourself up. You are totally deserving of love - especially from yourself!
It's hard to believe so much positive can come from the worst of times. Do your best to live your life. It won't be easy, but you'll be happy you tried to see this as an opportunity to live your life the way you once dreamed. The pain won't go away, but one thing I know for sure is that time heals all. Best of luck hun! Keep looking up!
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female
reader, Shan14 +, writes (4 February 2010):
 I went through sumthing similar to this and let me tell u,HE DOES NOT DESERVE U HUNNI!!! of course ur going to have days when u want to cry and want him back but u know wat,u deserve better and u kno that.So wat helped me was i texted the person and told him that i dont want to talk to him ever,lose mi number and guess wat!After i got over him,he texted me and kalled tellin me how sorry he was and i had the courage to say i dont need ur apologies because u r nuthing but a raindrop in mi window ha!lol hope this helps and this hurt feeling will pass...trust me
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reader, SillyA +, writes (4 February 2010):
 Everyone has written such great advice, I don't have much to add other than I know how bad it hurts when your heart is broken, and I'm sorry you feel this way, I wish it on nobody! You have to get rid of everything having to do with him and let time run it's course, remind yourself often of all your great qualities and what you think is pretty about yourself. When I'm feeling down, it helps me sometimes to acknowledge something I like about myslef, like my smile, eyes, or hair.. Might be silly but it helps me a little bit!
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reader, lost!!!!! +, writes (4 February 2010):
I agree with the other posters. I am going throught the same thing, the only difference is my ex still feels the need to contact me even though he doesn't want to be with me, asking me if I have started dating anyone, just stupid stuff that makes it worse for me. I even asked him to stop and he won't. Delete or remove anything you can that will remind you of him and spend as much time as possible with family and friends. I know how you are feeling as I am feeling the same thing as we speak. You will have good days and bad days. I know this sounds horrible but be glad he doesn't want contact otherwise your emotions will be like a rollercoaster, and from current experience, ITS NOT FUN. And if he tries to contact you try your best not to respond. I wish you all the best, keep your chin up and look for things to do for yourself to make YOU happy.
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reader, Canewood +, writes (3 February 2010):
Yep the way to stop it is to stop it. Your whole body and mind will say no no no no but you have to if you want to get better. Don't feed the hurt. Cut it off and replace it with something different - not something that looks just like it. Move on for real. Your to emotional to think so don't listen to your heart. Your heart will be better soon but not if you keep picking at it. Think don't feel.
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reader, zedd +, writes (3 February 2010):
Just be with your friends, go to parties, enjoy life, whatever. Try some sports, try something new and just keep yourself occupied. Your life is yours and yours only, don't let anyone ruin it, it's only a matter of decisions. He is nothing special, no one is any more special than anyone else. Go on and have fun!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): Delete his phone number, remove all pictures, remove him from your life. Don't go places that reminds you of him. Start a new life, without him. Mark this beginning of your new life by a ritual act. Like : go on vacation, get a new hairstyle, change job, move somewhere else, get a whole new wardrobe. Things like that. Change something in your life, and then change little by little everything else.
Work on YOU.
It'll be hard for a while, but with time, he will be out of your head and it wont hurt anymore! Trust me! Time heals all wounds! Just get by, a day at a time in the beginning, make the changes in your life, get him out and removed from everything, and one day you won't think of him at all but have a big smile on your face!
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reader, junebug81409 +, writes (3 February 2010):
Time is the only way to get over someone.i know how much ur in pain.it feels like ur heart really hurts and those feelings are normal. The first step is to forgive yourself.then to delete his number and get raid off his stuff and any thing that reminds u of him.and try to get out of ur house.get all dressed up and grab ur best friend and go out to eat or something.im so sorry i hope this goes faster than what u think it will.u deserve much better.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): It takes time to get over a hurt like this.
Why not take a vacation for dating/relationships for a while. Just consentrate on hanging with friends.
I promise, things do get better after a little while.
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (3 February 2010):
 Hi.
It's really hard when you feel like you do, but try to remember that your feelings will change in time and you will get over this. Try to take your mind off him to pass the time quicker. Spend time with your friends and do things you enjoy. Have some 'you' time. You deserve a man who will treat you well and not take advantage.
Good luck, and I hope you feel better about this soon :)
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reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 February 2010):
Delete his contact numbers, his emails, everything. Then focus on your own life and really throw yourself into friends, family, work and hobbies. To stop feeling this way, you must end contact first.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): Your feelings are completey normal, so it's time to stop hating yourself for it, even the illogical forgiveness of him using you. That feeling will pass, it's just your heart making excuses for him because it wants him still.
Time is the only thing that works, I know it's clichéd but there realy is no quick fix for this. Him breaking off contact is the best thing for you right now, it's way easier to get over someone when you don't have to see them often.
Start trusting your head, everything it thinks of this douche is correct, your heart will stop yearning after a while and you'll be able to despise him for the asshole that he is.
The only thing I can say to console you,is that this will pass and you'll start thinking of him less and less as time goes by, it will end, so just tough it out, talk it out with friends and shed a tear or two, everything will be fine.
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