A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of three months, whom I've known for six years, chose to have a two day fling with her ex while he was in town. We have talked about what happened and I don't feel I got a strait answer of why this occurred. She has told me they are finished and she never wants to see him again, but in our conversations it is clear they are still communicating. I still love her and really want to be with her. How can I trust her? I don't know how to explain what I feel, but it's making me sick. I need some advice please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): trust her...........no way. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN AWAY FROM HER. trust me on this.
A
female
reader, ms.rafaeli +, writes (9 January 2010):
 Is it the first time she did this to you? If it is, then give her another chance. Every body deserves a second chance. If she does it again, well you know what to do.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 January 2010):
Seriously, three months into it and she's already had a fling with her ex. That says it all. You can do better.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): I wouldn't trust her.
Screwing up is bad. Screwing up and not convincing me that you are even sorry and and changed and learned from it? That's a deal breaker.
If you take her back now, she will probably break up with you again and go screw someone else the next time she starts feeling a little bored with you or someone else attracts her. I think she is taking you for granted.
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A
female
reader, LaPointe  +, writes (7 January 2010):
Although I wouldn't put her in the Ted Bundy category, I do agree that if she's cheat on you and she's still in contact with the person she cheat on you with, you need to walk away. She broke your trust and she's obviously continuing to be elusive. I could understand trying to work it out with just the cheating, but the cheating plus continued inconsistencies in her story is troubling. There are women out there who can be faithful and honest, and that's what you deserve.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): Hi. In answer to your question, you cant trust her. She has shown you that, by going back for fun with her ex partner! The fact that you have known her 6 years and been dating her for 3 months and yet she could do that, proves she has many issues with her ex. She is probably having rebound relationships at present and anyone dating someone like that is going to get hurt. Put simply, untill she is over her ex, you cant trust her.
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A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (7 January 2010):
 Is there a chance your relationship could evolve into something lasting and desirable? Of course there is but your looking at somewhere between 4 and 15 percent odds that it will work out for you. It`s your choice to make and not one that I envy. Maybe try just being friends with her instead of being in a serious relationship. She is not very committed to you so don`t put all your stock in a failing Enterprise.
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A
female
reader, LustyMisa +, writes (7 January 2010):
 my dad used to say everyone should be allowed one really big f*** up in life. Sometimes thats what it takes to realize what you got going on and get you back on track (i'm a perfect example of that but thats another story lol) If you think she's being genuine and you love her, give her a chance. It will take time to rebuild the trust, but for six years it sounds like its worth it. Tell her you need a straight answer, get everything in the open, and start over. It may not work out, such is life, but its easier to regret giving her a second chance than none at all.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (7 January 2010):
 Of course you cant get a straight answer!!! She just wants to screw this guy while you put up with it!
Sorry but she is lying to you. And NO YOU CANT TRUST HER!!!!
If she was done with him she would be No Contact. The fact is that you CANT trust her. Only 3 months and this happened...she is not over this guy and she wont be.
She tells you she is still in contact, what the hell are you waiting for? She isn't going to come around..plus its only been three months. what will happen if you two move in together or have a kid and you find this stuff out..
If you were smart you'd dump her now like she is a yesterdays garbage. 3 months is not a lot of time invested and she has already shown you how much she cares for you by screwing her ex over the course of 2 days.
where were you? did she just blow you off while she was doing it?
Dude, she is about as trust worthy as Ted Bundy. My advice is as straight forward and honest without any sugarcoating as you will find here...blow it off at your own peril.
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A
male
reader, redsox29 +, writes (7 January 2010):
Hey, I'm sorry. I know that it hurts and what she did isn't fair to you. You probably won't ever get a straight answer from her. The tough part is, I don't think you can ever trust her. I wouldn't. Once a cheater, always a cheater. She needs to figure out what her deal is and why she chose to have a fling. I don't think she respects you if she would do that to you. Ok, you've only been dating for 3 months but if you and her have known each other for 6 years, you do know each other pretty well. Why did her and the ex break up? Maybe they have some unresolved issues. Best thing for you is to end it. Sorry if that seems harsh but sticking with her makes it seem like she can disrespect you and you'll just take it. You need to decide what's best for you. If it was me, I'd be done. I'd tell her that if she can disrespect our relationship by doing that and disrespect me by cheating, she doesn't DESERVE my love. Good luck.
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