A
female
age
36-40,
*rincessjasmine
writes:I feel kinda dumb around the guy I like, he uses all these big words, I wanna open up a thesaurus and build my own vocabulary so I can sound witty and smart, is that bad? Is he right for me if he's smarter than me? It's so attractive to me and I love it, but I just don't feel like I'm smart enough. I'm getting my masters in teaching and I love to read and write, but when I talk to someone in person, I'm a bit awkward, like my words come out all wrong, they don't flow, and I sound stupid almost. What do I do? Should I not over think when I'm talking to him or what? Reply to this Question
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reader, princessjasmine +, writes (19 February 2009):
princessjasmine is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys, your right I shouldnt stress it, and yes i do want to build my vocab and know more about the world (im not street smart at all) for myself. I think that I should really go with the flow with it without thinking, "okay, what big word can i substitute in the next sentence I say to him?"which causes me to jumble up my words, which makes me look dumber! I need to really be myself, and just stop trying to seem smart when thats not who I am. I'm me, I'm smart in my own way, maybe not his way..its just that he loves smart girls and I dont know if I'm his kind of "smart," I really don't know much about the world:( I read the newspaper online sometimes, but I dont really have an opinion on many things, I can't talk politics. He's aspiring to become a lawyer who feels he's up at the columbia law level. It makes me want to apply to columbia for a second masters in something else...do i sound like i'd do anything for this guy? im infatuated I suppose.
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 You are getting a Master's degree?? Then you are probably amongst the top 10-20% of educated people in the US! LOLAnd you will be a teacher/professor??? In my book, you are already wayyyy up there on the smart department! LOLGuess what, people who use "big words" verbally do not necessarily (a) know the contextual meaning of those words ... and they do it only to impress people , and/or (b) have the same ability to fluently and coherently write a paper on the same topic that they use the big words on! LOLBut by all means, do learn more vocabs from thesaurus dictionaries, but not to impress your b/f. Do it because you are thirsty for knowledge! Besides, would you want to teach your students by using big words that they will not understand, or would you want to befriend people who feel that you are alienating them by using big words not commonly found in everyday conversations?If I were you, I would ask him to explain to you in colloquial terms what some of those big words he uses meant. If he is a smart person, he will be able to do it easily - and will be flattered that you want him to explain things. If he is a show off, you may find his explanation all gibberish .. LOL .. which may mean that he himself does not have a firm grip on the meaning of those words. (Don't do this too often though, you might already bruised his ego there).Cat
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (19 February 2009):
If he is with you for the right reasons (non materalistic reasons) then he wont care how smart or not smart you are. It is as simple as that really. Only a shallow and pretencious guy would dump you just because you dont use big words when you speak. Its the same as a guy who may date a girl because she isnt as appealing to him as a model.
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female
reader, XxAnGelXxx +, writes (19 February 2009):
 I used to speak real awkward ya know, like all my words would get tangled, but.. I began doing word exercises, like practising tongue twisters and stuff, also slowing my speech a little so the words which do come out of my mouth come out, I dunno, correctly and in the right way I guess! But yea, word exercises are very good :) and just because someone uses big words doesn't mean they're all that smart, lol trust, tis just like me xD im really quite dumb in every other aspect apart from my knowledge of words! Lol but if you wanna use some new big clever words then pick one out of a dictionary or whatever every few days, a week even, learn the meaning and try and casually work it into conversation. Also make sure it's a word that your likely to use lol like substitute it for another commen word you say, but dont say it all that often, if that makes sense? Lol hope that helps xD xXx
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male
reader, eocalla +, writes (19 February 2009):
Don't sweat it. I think a lot of people have this concern (guys and gals).
Have you considered the possibility that your insecurity is mostly in your head and that you are magnifying it?
When you're around him try to just relax and be yourself. Don't try to pretend to be smarter than you are, just be you. He will appreciate that.
Tell this guy how impressive you find his intelligence, he will love that.
Don't be intimidated by his intellect, just relax and roll with it.
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reader, jay12toes +, writes (19 February 2009):
 if it bothers you , then sure build your vocabulary. but if he likes you, then it really wont matter. everyone is smarter about something, it happens, so dont let it stop you from building a relationship.
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