A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, im so fed up latley i just cant meet the right boy. i know everyone says there is someone out there for them but how come i cant find mr right ?? every boy i go for just wants sex. im fed up of it and latley when i go out im stoping myself giving boy a chance, how can i change and meet the right man ?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): Try hanging out at bookstores and libraries. The well-read types seem to usually have higher IQ and better-developed personalities, which is what you want. On the contrary, avoid bars as Mr. Average Joe gets drunk there. Good luck!
A
female
reader, AgonyAuntJ +, writes (22 August 2010):
 You have to remember that certain guys will think a certain way about certain people. This is all very.. well.. certain. What kind of impression are you giving to these men who use you for sex? If youre looking for mister right, then thats fine. But you wont find him if you act like mrs wrong, if you know what i mean? Im not saying youre do act that way, so i apologise if thats how its coming across! But as i dont know you, im just trying to cover all the areas, and one may be that you give the impression that you are up for sex yourself.
If thats wrong and thats totally not you, then heres my other point. Some guys like i said will just want sex. And thats fine, let them have their fun, but just not with you. Dont give it away easily. Get to know a guy first, and as "Alwayswondering" said, if it happens, it happens. Remember also that you are only betwen 18 and 21 years old! I know that at the moment it might not seem like much to be told, but at this point in your life, you should just enjoy being you! If someone comes along then great, but if they dont, it isnt the end of the world! You have your whole life to find mister right. For now just focus on friends and college/work, focus on the things that truely matter. Then when you find "the one" you can say you did everything the way you wanted to do it, and now youre ready to be with someone. Just stay patient! Nobody knows what the future has planned for you! :)
- AAJ.
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A
male
reader, smile(:  +, writes (22 August 2010):
This is a backwards approach but it works for me. Change how you appear and act so that you attract people who want the right things and discourage people who want the wrong things. Like don't be as sexy, yes you will get less attention in all but it will be less bad attention which will give room to good attention. Also watch how you approach boys, how a relationship develops depends on many things, make sure you do not put the focus on sex. If boys are just going for sex, I would recommend not having sex for a while and watch who drops out of your life, let them go, slumbags that they are. It is going to be an uphill battle, the media oversexualizes everything, but it is possible.
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A
male
reader, Alwayswondering  +, writes (22 August 2010):
Hello there:
I am a man, always wondering the same thing. 20 yearsold, one girlfriend... My advice, don't change. I look at it like this. If I change myself, then I'm not me, but rather what this person wants in me. My last girlfriend could not fathom this. But that's beside the point. It seems it is based on chance. Either it happens or it does not. I want to meet "mrs. right". But it's all chance. If it does not happen, I can therefore say, I tried my best, and I did not conform to someone else's wish with regards to changing who I am. That in itself is a great thing. With the media these days you have to be "perfect", you have to be "beautiful". Oh how much I hate that word. If you change yourself, then you are being someone else. If these guys are interested in you, (I hope not all for sex) then there is something about you that is good. May be it's something about who you are right now, that attracts these people?
In short, don't change. Be yourself and if it happens, it happens. Would you rather be with someone who you can't fully express yourself? Or "alone" and are yourself. I think the latter is more appetizing. Did this help at all?
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (22 August 2010):
 Go to different places where those kinds of guys wouldn't be around. You also have to think about what kind of a vibe you're giving off, some guys might take things the wrong way.
I hope that helps.
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