A
male
age
36-40,
*estWishes
writes:Hello cupid readers.... I once came upon this site about 3 months ago, when I had just found out that I got a 15 year old pregnant. I decided to delete my old account becuse of the rude things I was told. Now I have come back for advice, but not for lectures.I'm aware she is underage, but it was a HUGE mistake I had gotten drunk. I was over her house spending the night doing some college project with her older brother and we were drinking some. Everyone was asleep except her, she asked me to help her with somethng and I guess there was when I was stupid enough to have sex with her. I guess I had forgotten her age at the moment or something. I don't know what got into me. I feel very ashamed of myself I let everyone down. I wasent even excepting children untill I was married, but I guess now is the time I shall be a father.Well the case now is that she is 5 months pregnant going onto 6 months. I had considered abortion when she first anncounced she was pregnant, but her parents are against it and don't believe that a life of a human being should be taken away becuase they are consisered some mistake. So now 'Jamie' is haveing second thoughts not about haveing an abortion but giving the baby up for adoption. I don't want that. I totally disagree with this, but nothing seems to change her mind. How can I convince her to keep our un-born child? And any names for a male baby?
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female
reader, kody08 +, writes (17 October 2008):
Well all you can do is talk to her, i know it is scary i am 18 bout to have my baby ne time now and it is just overwhelming for a girl trust me you just have to talk to her but you also need to realize that this your child also and you do have a say it what happens so let you voice be heard.....And i really like the names AYDEN-BRAYDEN-BRYCE
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): Call me crazy, but it seems to me the answer to this is simple... why don't you just take full custody of your own child?
I guess I'm a little confused because it sees like you're asking this question with the automatic assumption that because she's the female she should or would have full custody. You're the father, you want to keep the child from being adopted, then you take full custody of your child.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): You have rights as the father.
She also can't give the baby up for adoption without your consent, the baby will be legally yours if she doesn't want it.
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A
female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (7 October 2008):
 if she decides to adopt the child out, then why dont u take charge and go ahead and adopt the child urself. and if she wants nothing to do with the child, well, so be it. u got what u wanted and she can move on with her life and not look back. this is what i would do. its not impossible for u to do so, but u will need to get a lawyer and some major legal advice. and talk to her parents about u adopting the child and all and go from there. good luck sir.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): as a father, I think you have the rights to take the baby in and raise it yourself. You do not, however, have the right to force her to keep it if you aren't going to fully adopt it. If she doesn't want to keep it, then she can give the baby and all of the parental rights to you. If you really do want it, just tell her that you'll be the one to raise it in your home and such.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (6 October 2008):
 You have rights as a father too. The decision is in fact hers, right now, but you have the right to say, "no, I want custody of this baby." Are the pair of you a couple now? Look on line about a fathers rights to yur unborn child. Of course, making a baby with a child is never a good thing, mistake or no, and this poor girl is probably aware that when the baby is born, her life is over. I can fully understand her decision.
I am pregnant too, and already have a boy and a girl. They both have Hawaiian names, and the new one will too (as that is where we reside) but I always feel like giving your child a name that has meaning behind it that they can grow up to be proud of;)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Don't let her give the baby up for adoption. I was adopted and it sucks. But if you do decide to give him up, make sure he is adopted out ASAP. If he isn't taken care of properly, he could develope an attatchment disorder. :(
g o o d l u c k
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Dear Poster
I totally agree with Michelle; If you want her to keep the baby and not give it up for adoption, you will have to proof that you are prepared to be more then just a "distance" daddy paying maintenance. You will have to assure her and probably her family that you can face up to the reality of taking care of this child.
I suggest you consult a lawyer and get legal advice as to what your rights are and how you can prevent her to give the baby up for adoption. Do this a.s.a.p. before she enters some adoption arrangement or agreement. Unfortunately the laws differ from country to country so I would not want to give my opinion on it BUT I URGE you to get LEGAL ADVICE.
Once you are well informed about your rights; I suggest you talk to her and her parents and try and find an amicable solution; if that is not possible, well at least you will know what you can and what you cannot do;
I hope all works out well for you and that you will have a lovely healthy little baby. Children are precious so do appreciate this little baby.
Best wishes and remember to keep SMILING.
Please keep us posted.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Hopeful Romantic +, writes (6 October 2008):
 The only way I can see you talking her into keeping the child is if you were to get into a relationship with her. Are you two together? Or are you still just her brothers friend? I think you should consider her being your girlfriend, ask her if this is okay with her and the two of you raise the baby together.
If you do not want to do this, then I would understand why she might want to give the baby up for adoption because she wouldn't have you to be there with her and for her when she is so young.
You two just need to be together - is that an option?
As for a baby boys name... I like Dominique, Zack, Harrison, Josiah (Joe-siaH), Levi, and Edward (only ones I can think of right now).
Good luck and remember, if you don't want to be with the girl, or if that just isn't a possibility, then you're really going to have to sit down with her and promise her how much you'll be there for her and the baby and tell her of the contributions you are willing to make. :)
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A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (6 October 2008):
 First things first, do a little research. If you are the father, I'm sure you have to be willing to give that child up for adoption for her to do so. I mean it's not like you don't want the child, regardless of your mistake.
Tell her that you will take care of the baby. That is the very first thing you do, but obviously she thinks it's the best thing for the baby and that she's not able to take care of a child as well.
So if you are ready to accept the fact that you are a father and step up to the plate, get your ass in gear and have this taken care of.
Don't think talking her into keeping the baby and you being able to see it ever so often will be the way to go, because YOU need to be "THE RESPONSIBLE" one here if you want your child in your life.
I hope this helps,
Michelle
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