A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello please, I need help, I have a dilemma with my relationship with my boyfriend, I know he is a good guy and we share strong feelings for each other, but I am seriously thinking if I should stay in this relationship or not, I have a lot of trust issues, for me it is extremelly dificult to trust in people, and life has made me cinical. I have been with my boyfriend for the last 8 months and everything is great, except that he is very quiet and very very introverted, I am hispanic specifically I am from Cuba, and we are people that are very loud and extroverted, when I go to some place people always remembers me because I right a way start talking to everybody and making jokes, my boyfriend is the opposite in that sense( besides he is eastern european), and for him is very dificult to express his feelings, even when with his actions I know that he really have strong feelings for me.At the beginning of our relationship we was living 2 hours apart, and as we are always very bussy with our jobs we was only able to see each other once a week. But things changed 2 months ago, because I moved 30-40 minutes away from him (I made this move for job purposes), so we are now fairly close and we have been able to spend more time together, now we are seeing each other 3 times a week.At the begining of our relationship he told me that he didn't want to be in a relationship because he was afraid to lose his freedom, and I don't mean freedom of going out and messing around with other women, it is freedom of losing his individuality, he also said at that time that he didn't want to lose me because he has never felt for someone what he feels for me, keep in mind that this is not a guy that has been very lucky with women, he is not a player and he is not the kind of guy that women will think is handsome, but for me he is, and I relly love him.Over time he started changing his attitude to our relationship and now he is working more for us being successful as a couple, we normally see each other 3 times a week, because we are both very busy especially him, he works and he is going to college at the same time, I know also that he has also given up time with his friends in order to be with me (obviously he hasn't said that, but I can see it). My one problem here is that he is extremely bad at making plans, I have talk to him about this because it makes me feel bad that I am the one doing all the planning for our dates, and sometimes he tries to change it a little bit, but then he came back to his comfort zone and things get to exactly the same point. I don't know if it is worth it to continue with him or not. I am 27 years old and he is 29, I would like some masculine opinions to see if i should stay in this relationship or leave, I would like opinions to see if there is some future here or not?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): What the..... you have a dream guy in your hands. Your excuses sound extremely poor to me. If I understand you rightly you are just looking for faults in him. Forget about if he is handsome or he wanted his freedom at the beginning of the relationship. He is trying very hard to make the relationship work. I am sorry to say this dear but I don't think you are really in love with him. If you are you will realize the gem that he is and cherish him. You would like some masculine opinions? You should be taking opinions from other gals who would be facing issues of adultery, alcoholism, emotional and physical abuse etc. All he does is make bad plans and you are thinking of leaving him?.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): I don't think u should be considering leaving this guy in the first place. Yes he is an introvert unlike u and there will be many more differences but isn't it possible that u like him exactly for that? He is spending time with u, working hard for your future and you yourself accepted all these things. What more do u want?so what if he cant plan your dates?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Dear Poster
You seem to already have your doubts about the future of this relationship.
I suggest you should do a COMPATIBILITY test. It sounds as if there might be a few COMPATIBILITY ISSUES that you need to look at before you consider any long term relationship or a future with this guy.
Unfortunately love is not enough to make a relationship last or survive.
I think you know what you have to do, but if you have doubts; do a COMPATIBILITY test.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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A
female
reader, cherry123  +, writes (6 October 2008):
I would leave and move on u need someone who will show u comitment and stability and someone to spend time my partner and i are always doing things together such as holidays days out are u certain u know who hes with when hes not with u good luck
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