A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 8 months now and we're talking about having sex. Its not that i dont want to do it, but he says he wants me on top. i've heard its a great turn on for guys to have thier gf's on top but the thing is its my first time. so i wont be sure what to do or how he likes it, and im worried i wont do it how he wants. ive tried talking to him but he says i'll be fine on top and still wants me there. help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): dont worry about it too much. i was exactly the same as you , when i had sex with my boyfriend for the first time i was on top also. & he led until i felt comfortable with it. maybe as your boyfriend if hes willing to do that because then your compromisin & your both gettin something out of it. if he isnt willing to do that then he isnt the one you shud be havin sex with for the first time. good luck xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): I think your bf is not being insensitive. Although you don't like the position, being on top will make it actually less painful. This is because you can control the entering of the penis so you know when to stop or slow down.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): Don't like the guy, he doesn't seem to care about your feelings at all. First time sex is sometimes painful and difficult, but he doesn't care, he just thinks about himself. Woman on top will be painful, and it will hurt even more.... But you love him, youre willing to have underage sex, youre even willing to let him hurt you, because you want him to be happy. Personally I wouldn't have sex with him, because he's too selfish.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): I'm sorry- i think he's being Really insensitive towards Your feelings here! He's lucky that you're considering letting him be your first, even when you're underage and its technically statutory rape. And in spite of all of that, he's pushing you to love your virginity in a way that you're not comfortable with! Regardless of whether you'd be okay physically, and whether it might hurt more, or be more difficult/ painful for your first time/s; he should be jumping to try and make this as comfortable and as worry-free an experience for you as possible!You've told him how you feel and he's just waved your feelings to one side- and on such a very important and sensitive issue! Are you sure he's really the one you want to lose your virginity to??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): you should be on the bottem for the first few minutes and understand what is going on but ull catch on (; no prob its easy to understand and it feels great! when im on top it feels weird.but he still likes it. (; if you think its uncomfortable don't do it but have him finger u first to who knows mayb u could get an orgasm!best of luck xoxop.s. i was 14 when i lost my virginity it felt great? (; (;
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): I agree with urbanking99. You're too young for full sex, and I'm saying this because I CARE about you. You have all these ideas, but have you really thought about all the consequences? They say if you're not ready to raise a child, or deal with a disease, then you're too young for sex.
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A
male
reader, urbanking99 +, writes (21 February 2009):
No disrespect to anyone but you shouldn't be having sex at your age. Snogging, feelin each other, mutual masturbation fine but not full on sex.
No matter what societies expectations are currently.
Have some fun yes, but sex no. Wait until you find someone you are really 'into', even it means waiting a few years.
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A
male
reader, Tomas  +, writes (20 February 2009):
I agree this should be your call, and you will enjoy it most if you do what seems most comfortable to you.
Assuming that at some point you do climb on top, here are a few tips.
First, yes most guys love this. It's a real treat. So don't be the least self-conscious. If you don't want him looking at you at first, blindfold him or something. Double-treat!
The other thing is how to move. Of course, the obvious caveats apply: no right or wrong, do what feels good. But I'd add there are two major different types of motion (in my experience). I'll call them "up-down" and "back-forward". Up-down is mainly an in-out motion, with her lifting up. I think this is more directly stimulating for the guy, less so for the girl. It's also more work for her. Back-forward (with him fully inserted) gives her more of a rubbing of her clitoris on his pubic bone, and probably is more stimulating for her than him.
Having said that, don't interpret that to mean that you should do up-down rather than back-forward.
Instead, and I can only speak for me here, I experience back-forward as her taking pleasure from me (the sexiest feeling I know), and up-down as her "doing" me. So the mix of these reflects her intention. It communicates.
I hope that makes some sense.
Finally, being on top gives you the freedom to "step back", to see and be seen, and "swoop in" to kiss his chest, neck, face. The varying of distance, giving and taking motions, gives you a lot of things to play with, and makes the whole thing fun and different every time for him.
Enjoy when you get there.
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A
female
reader, -NothingLasts4ever- +, writes (20 February 2009):
 I personally think that you shouldn't go on top first time. It's your first time and girl on top can be quite hard, I found it hard at the beginning, I wasn't sure quite what to do. I think that he sould go on top for the first few times and then maybe you go on top.
He should understand that it's what you want and then it could also make him want sex more, waiting for the day that you go on top.
Good luck xx
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A
male
reader, scifi_aaron +, writes (20 February 2009):
Firstly, if you get on top you will pick it up pretty fast, but as it's your first time, you should get to choose, after that you should experiment with girl on top and so on, but you should do the first time however you want it, even if it is his first time aswell.
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