A
female
age
36-40,
*U(wo)MAN
writes:My boyfriend of about a year wants a threesome. (If you have read my other post, you might laugh and think it is a crazy idea.) Last week he said he would like to have a threesome. Since we do not know anyone to do it with it is mostly all fantasy at this point. Initially I said "NO WAY!" as that has always been my main thought on the subject. I can be jealous and possessive, and I am afraid that I would absolutely HATE to see him with another woman. But to be fair, I can also see how it could be an exciting experience to share. I would be willing to experiment to keep my man happy (I think I could enjoy it too), but I am afraid that we are not strong enough right now. I love my boyfriend, but we have our share of problems. We talk about having a future together and I think this thought of "settling" worries him (even though there is no real pressure at this point). Having been with a lot of women in the past, he puts SO much emphasis on the importance of sex (which btw is the best I've ever had). He makes me feel sometimes that I, being only ONE woman, cannot properly satisfy him. But that is only sometimes, I need to clarify that our sex life together is quite breathtaking. He is damn sexy and I can imagine it to be hot seeing his body move from a different perspective, as a fantasy it kind of turns me on. But then my brain and heart take over and I get this gut-wrenching, nauseating ANGER and SADNESS. He and I make LOVE, it is emotional and unique between us. I don't know if I want to share something so special. Maybe just once.. Will it be forever changed?Our relationship isn't in the best place right now. We have talked about breaking up, but he seems to think this could HELP. Is that completely crazy? I feel that we need to be really SOLID for this to not destroy me (or us). He says that he wants to be with someone who will make him happy and satisfy his fantasies, he even said maybe just the possibility is good enough (like it is a test of sorts). Do you think he will lose respect for me as a woman he would marry? Has anyone gone into this similarly and enjoyed it??
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jealous, sex life, threesome Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (26 July 2009):
if you want to end the relationship, bring a third in to your bed, and it will HELP speed up the breakup... from what I've read it sounds like the two of you need to go your seperate ways... sad sometimes, but you need to re-read your post... objectivly, and see what you'd recommend to the gal who wrote it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): In answer to the question, I think that a threesome would definitely NOT help your relationship. Personally, I am a very anti-threesome person, so that might bias my answer, however, the fact that your relationship IS already on the rocks doesn't make the best excuse for it. It certainly doesn't seem like it would HELP your relationship - it's something that involves a lot of trust I would think.
How do you feel about having a threesome? If you are not into it at all, then maybe he should be considerate of that. If you are, but would feel more comfortable with another man, maybe you should tell him that too and see how he feels.
Tbh he sounds like an ass for making you feel like you don't satisfy him in bed - not everyone has the kind of mileage that is necessary to be Casanova and he should be sensitive to that.
Seems like a really lame excuse to do something he wants to do. I don't recommend going thru with it.
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A
female
reader, HU(wo)MAN +, writes (7 July 2009):
HU(wo)MAN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your responses. Keep in mind, I am NOT MARRIED, and I am not asking for a moral criticism! This is not an area meant for moral debate. Thanks you to those who answered my question!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): Moralcrusader, I would be surprised to find out that marital infidelity (not that the original poster is married) is any more prevalent in America than it is in England.
In fact, given that England is entirely secular/Godless/evolved (depending on your point of view) and America still has pockets of Puritan fundamentalistism, vast areas where Christianity actually seems to influence the way people live their lives, I'd hazard a guess that it's the other way round.
Totally irrelevant to the question, I know. Sorry.
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A
male
reader, pyan  +, writes (3 July 2009):
Hi
it a very good question you have. for years in our early life i always wanted and 3 some with my ife and another woman. we would talk about it but it was a fantasy.one day when we were much older my wife said she would try it but also wanted to try another guy. at first i was unsure but we did, we tried the guy first. it was a great experance and for us both. we have made it a specail treat once in a while and we have had both woman and men. now a day i think we botlike the 2 guy as she enjoys it more. pm me if you want more info. but its got to be somthing you want to do.
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A
male
reader, citic101  +, writes (2 July 2009):
 If you would accept a threesome with a women would he also accept a threesome with a guy ?
As you say you dont know anyone to have the threesome with and might be hard to find , so for now why not play along and say maybe that should hold him for a while
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A
female
reader, unionoflove +, writes (2 July 2009):
yes, he will. he is using you, not loving you. you will probably regret it if you do it.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (2 July 2009):
 Most likely he already lost respect. Trying to go out with a bang. You guys been together for only a year. A bit to early to have to spice things up. What will be needed on your 10th anniversary at this rate?
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A
female
reader, lovnlife +, writes (2 July 2009):
you guys have not been togethere long enough to bring someone into your relationship i mean i think it is every guys fantacy but is that where it would stop or is that something he wpuld want all the time and you never know he might get a little to into the other chick how would that make you feel the whole thing is to worry some because you are dealing with another woman
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): 'Has anyone gone into this similarly and enjoyed it?' Definitely yes. Which doesn't mean you will, or that you should even consider it if it doesn't feel right. Are you completely certain he wants this threesome to involvce another woman, rather than a man? q105's point is pretty funny, but overlooks the possibility that maybe you could share a man - him watching the man doing you, you watching the man do him - perhaps even with a rule that he (your boyfriend) has to keep his hands off you while it's going on. Just an idea. But seriously, don't do anything that doesn't come naturally. You mention gut-wrenching anger, sadness and love. Taking that into account, my strong instinct (though not my definite conclusion) is that a threesome would be a bad idea in your case. But fantasising about it is fine, if you both find it a real turn-on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): What about if you wanted a threesome with another man? would he say yes?
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A
female
reader, Beau_Gallante +, writes (2 July 2009):
 No, I think he just wants to get a threesome before you guys decide to break up. If you really do not want to do it, do not do it!!!
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A
female
reader, jade0357  +, writes (2 July 2009):
Well the only answer that i can give you may not sound like much, but most boys like the sound of threesomes so that they can have two girls all over them. but if you wanted a threesome with another boy then he would say no, so just sit down and tell him how you feel and if he really loves you then he wont talk about it again. if you have any more problems then just ask!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): Personally, I think if the relationship is already questionable that you should not go through with it. It seems that he just wants to get a threesome before you two decide to break-up...I think it is B.S. when he says that it will save the relationship. If you really do not want to go through with a threesome I say NO!!! Do NOT do it!
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