A
female
age
30-35,
*majayne
writes:Hey its me again, about the should I chuck him or wait for a miracle. I've got another question, my boyfriend wants to do more pot which is completely against my morals. He has plans to do it this weekend. I want to use the old "three strikes your out" thing... but I can't help but feel like I'm controlling his life. He says "your my girlfriend, not my mother". Should I be so concerned with his life choices? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emajayne +, writes (3 October 2007):
Emajayne is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you for all the responces. it doesnt hurt so much now. we are tryign to be civil no matter all the arguments we've had. we are tryign really really hard to make things work as friends. we both know that a relationship can never happen again. it just wont work. we hurt eachother deeply and there is just soo much stuff within the relationship that will never heal. I know there are other fish in the sea that i wont want to change, that i will love for who they are. Im just a teenager, and the whole relationship thing is a viscious cycle that is nesessary to learn things.
A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 IT probably hurts more because he did the breaking up. I don't know where you are at with it today, but there are about 40 million men in the UK alone. That's was one, and from the concerns you had, probably not the best one. You have good moral value, and don't accept anything less than what you want in a partner ... ever.
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A
female
reader, Emajayne +, writes (21 September 2007):
Emajayne is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe broke up. he did it. and its killing me.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (15 September 2007):
 Well let him be his own guy. It his mistake. You should proberl leave him if it goes agaisnt your morales.
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (15 September 2007):
At this point the only 2 options you have are 1. accept it and compromise your morals or 2. reject it and tell him to leave. You can't control his behavior through any means, he has to want to change of his own "free will". Do you love him enough to compromise yourself by accepting his drug abuse and stay in the relationship? If you do, then you have to let it go as an issue. If you can't let the issue go, then let him go.
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A
male
reader, Hk45cal +, writes (15 September 2007):
Relationships are about respect and compromise. If he doesnt respect you or your opinions then you need to re evaluate just why you are in this. Compromising is not something learned early on in life as that if he is between the ages of 17-21 he has so many big stages of his life and life he feels he needs to live and be free. More or less there is experiences out there he need to see and do. You should be doing the same, but on the other hand not compromising your integrity. If you dont want to do pot, speak up and say so. Standing up for yourself in the long run will gain the respect you deserve. Cowing down and doing whatever, whenever will just set you up to be stepped on, over and over.Lastly, if illicit drugs are against your morals why are you settling for someone is not on the same page. Would you not be better off to be with someone that is of better moral standing, like yourself.....Think about that. I know its hard to leave when your in it, but in essense you are just prolonging the inevitable
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A
female
reader, L.O.S.E.R.  +, writes (15 September 2007):
 Well I actually don't see weed as dangerous and necessarily bad "mean green plant"...but if you do theres no reason to stay with him...so I advice dumping too:( Hope he doesn't mean too much to you but even if he does better stick to your beliefs.xo
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A
female
reader, Emajayne +, writes (15 September 2007):
Emajayne is verified as being by the original poster of the questionu are thinking just like everyone else. i feel like im being so mean to him because im being miserable all the time even when he isnt having a bad day. thats what my major concern is. thanks for ur lovely reply though. its short, sweet, and to the point.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (15 September 2007):
 For certain things, he needs to be his own man...but Drugs is NOT one of those things.For *%#$#@ sake, dump him.-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, youcant loose what you never had! +, writes (15 September 2007):
my advice(dont take it if you dont want to)you no its against your morals no three strikes kick him out now.hes no good by the sound of things hes not the right person for you.ditch him and get a new man in your life who goes by the same rules as you therefor you wont need to think whether your interfering in his life choices.xxx hope i helped xxx
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