A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a bi male. I have a friend who I believe is "straight" but have doubts. Now ordinarily I wouldn't care about another persons sexual preference. But I have feelings for him. He knows that I am bisexual and has known since the beginning of our friendship. One night some months ago he came over to my home and we had a few drinks and talked like men do. We were watching porn and having sexual talk in general (not about us with each other). Eventually the conversation came down to falactio's. He began to get excited just as I did. He then stood up and blurted out that he just wanted to" @#$% my mouth". This totally took me by surprise. He then suddenly said "I can't do this" and left. He came over the next morning and apologized for leading me on and claiming the mixture of the drinks and the porn had him feeling horny....Now fast forward a few months to the present. My "straight" friend has now asked if can stay with me for a while. He was going through somethings with his children's mother (not wife). I allowed him, now the chemistry between us is a little weird. He does handle me in a way like a man would a woman. I have to admit I do play the submissive role to him sometimes; example. I love to cook. But since he has been here I find myself cooking more often. He allows me to feed food off a fork or spoon to him. We watch movies together in my bed. We talk about everything including sex, I mean we talk about it all. From the size even pics of each other body parts. He tells me all the time he straight and he would never be with a man ever. Yet from the outside looking in a person would think he and I were in a relationship. Just on how he handles me and touch me. He is very doting. I am falling for him. He is such a man. He takes trash out and cleans the home. Very clean and respectful. But I am confused. There is so many things that happen. I just don't know what to think. And I know for sure that how we are with each other alone. Is definitely different then when others are around. Well it's still the same just somewhat subtle. Please Help! Am I reading too much into his kind heart and ways misinterpreting them into something more geared towards my own feelings and desires.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): Giving him oral?He is into you! Congrats.. you are half way there.I mean that in no way disrespectfully, I promise. Give him time, but not too long.He owes you the truth of how he feels.
A
male
reader, latinomusicus +, writes (3 October 2011):
I think he's bi, and I'm sure he remembers what happened, but I think he's struggling to accept himself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk. This is getting crazy. Last night my "straight" friend gets drunk. He is laying in my bed and asks me if he ask me something can i promise not to say anything. I said sure. He asked if I could rub and pinch his nipples. I started sucking on them after about 10 min of play. He played like he was sleep but I can tell he was aware of what was happening. I ended up giving him a foot massage as well as oral. Yes! The this is he wakes up this morning and claim he doesn't remember anything much past him asking me to play with his nipples. Is is possible that he don't remember everything else that happened. Or is he just trying to continue to play this game?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to say thank you for all the responses. Here are some additional information that I left out about our situation. One of you said that there were no definite signs that he interested. I have to say at one point I thought that myself. He has admitted to me that he has been fondled by a male family friend when he was younger. He also admitted to me that about a few years ago he was at a party where there were women and "gay" men at this party. He said that he got intoxicated and then the party turned into a sexcapade. He said that the lights were very dim and he could feel more than one persons hands and mouth on him. He said he felt two people sucking on his chest and rubbing his chest. As well as two people below the belt. He said "I knew it was probably the gay dudes too". I asked did he stop he said NO. He admitted it all felt very good.."Damn good!" But that when he realized what had happened the next day he said he would never do it again. Far as him getting close to me. When we drink and have a few friend over. All assuming to be straight. I have NO gay or bisexual friends at this present time that I keep in contact with. He always takes off his shirt and dances but when he starts to sing he reaches for my hand and has sang in my ear so close that his lips definitely touched my ear. This has happened several times. I was crying the other day about something I was going thru. He wiped the tears from my eyes.
I agree this isn't normal "heterosexual" behavior. So what is it? Is he just being him, or his he in denial and fighting his feelings? He is a LEO if that makes any difference. Should I let him come on to me if that is what he is feeling? Then what if it is and he just don't want to make the first move? Or should I make the first move and take a chance of ruining a friendship?
CONFUSED!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2011): I have a feeling he loves you...deeply...but he is not attracted to you sexually. If he was, he would have assumed the traditionally 'male' role in the bedroom and he would have made a move.
You two need to talk openly an candidly about the elephant in the room. If you make a move on him, don't be surprised if he feels you've overstepped his boundaries.
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A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (29 September 2011):
If he has already told you he is straight then that's what you'll have to believe. Do not try to interpret what his idea of straight means, just respect his no. You could very well lose a friend over this. Allow him if he so chooses to tell you his feelings of u. If you two openly talk about anything then it would come out at some point if he has a romantic interest in u. A lot of straight people love to tease n flirt with gays n bisexuals. So my advice, dismiss all thoughts of romance n consider it a uncensored friendship. I do believe u are thinking too much into this. A sign would be if he talked about his gay fanasty with a guy n he wouldn't mind living it out with u, or if he takes u out n pays a lot, or if he tries to get close to u body wise, or if he gets jealous when u speak of ur lovers or ex, or if he chased u. There seems to be no concrete signs that contradict him when he tells u he's straight. Sorry
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A
female
reader, HoneyComb +, writes (29 September 2011):
I'm not a guy, but I've been married to one for 30 years and I'm here to tell you that two guys watching porn together, movies in bed, spoon feeding, and deep talks about sex is NOT normal heterosexual behavior ... golf, baseball, and dirt bikes are.
Your friend may struggling with his sexuality and obviously troubled about crossing over, but he's not running from you. Maybe it's time to share how you feel and ask if he has feelings, too ... then talk about where to go from there. If he maintains he's straight, respect that and make yourself an example by modifying your behavior...invite a couple of ladies to hang out with.
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A
female
reader, Juliet  +, writes (29 September 2011):
Hi,Okay... thats interesting. I can understand why you would be confused. He may have just been particularly horny when he made that comment and then rushed out. I have a straight friend who fooled around with my lesbian friend purely because she was horny and knew the girl (in being gay) may be interested. (turns out she was interested!)Anyway, by the sounds of it, he is interested! (Which is good news!)As you probably know, sometimes when people like someone they will try slot themselves into the person's world... that is to say...they will try be close to the person they fancy! Moving in is a terrific way to spend copious amounts of time with a person!And... it guarantees privacy!Why not try make a move?I know you said he has outlined that he is straight... but..Its not like he hasnt been giving you mixed signals... which could be your way of justifying why you came on to him...but I think it should work out well for you.I hardly doubt he is going to reject you considering how he is acting. A straight man just doesnt eat food off another mans fork, or lie in bed with him! Just take it slow, consider asking him first why he acts like he does, or try make a move, but just do it respectfully and in a nice way. And don't get mad if he says no. Its so easy (as I know) to get annoyed at someone because you've just realised they've been sending you mixed signals and you've disappointed!(Only makes you human to be upset)Perhaps even give him time to come around to the idea by just being a little bit more 'hands on' one day at a time. Let him ease into his new reality so to speak because for some it can sadly be hard to accept who they are.Peace and Love!
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