A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im finding it really hard to get over my first ever bf of only 6 weeks, i still really like him even tho ive not spoken to me since and what makes it harder is ive seen him but hes just never consederd talking to me, he was the one who finished with me saying he did not feel the same, im very unexperienced when coming to these things, where he has 3 children from 2 past relationships so much more advanced then me plus we never had sex when he tried to do things i said i was not ready where he would then say i was making him feel dirty was i doing wrong?
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He said I made him feel dirty because I wasn't ready for sex! Does this mean I'm ready for sex? Is he just being nice because he wants sex. I am ready to have sex with him, but I am worried about my friends. Ready to have sex but too embarrssed! How do we know if we are ready for sex and in love?? How can I get my girlfriend ready for sex? I want to have sex but my gf is never ready. Are there ways to make a girl ready? Do you think we are ready for sex yet? |
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): You did nothing wrong. You were only dating this man for 6 weeks. Alot of couples hold off on sex until much longer. Some couples, do it the first night and then come on this site feeling used and despondent, complaining how having sex too soon, has messed with their heads. You made a good choice..believe that.
This guy has stated 'you' made 'him' feel dirty for wanting to have sex with you. This guy made himself feel dirty...you had nothing to do with that. It seems he couldn't handle having a nice, caring, decent woman in his life. Oh, I am so glad you didn't just give it up to him. I really respect that, hun. This man was after sex and he did a good job on your head and now---you have allowed the guilt to eat away at you. Guilt tends to make a woman feel less than worthy because she devalues herself and thinks if only she had done what he wanted, she'd be happy. Happy with what? A man who uses manipulations into getting you to have sex with him. Basically, he made you feel bad and punished you for your 'morals/principles' and self-respect...so what does that say about him?
If this man was a person of generosity, goodness and integrity with respect for himself to begin with...he would've totally respected that you were not ready and accepted that. He would have seen your value and how you respected the act of making love, as being special. He didn't do that, did he? His urges got the better of him. Try hard to heal and recover from what this ass did to you and work on getting your confidence back again. . Don't allow anyone to ever treat you like this again. Take care my dear...and keep valuing yourself.
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