A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy who told me he was 18 going on 19..things developed fast and I think I've fallen for him, only for him to tell me he's 16. I'm 22. I'm confused and told him I need time to think. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMaddierose, I know wot you mean, and the last thing I want to is patronize him, cos at 16/17 I fell in-love wit a guy for 5yrs, so I know that age has nothing to do wit love. I'm doing this for me as I'm experiencing a cognitive dissonance bout staying wit him. He deserve to be wit someone who will freely love him and not hold back. Same way as I deserve to be wit someone without the feeling guilt.
We're still in contact wit each other, that's the best I can do for now. I never want to give anyone a chance to disrespect me or perceive me to be a cradle snatcher, plus I wouldn't feel gud about myself.
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male
reader, adamskidude  +, writes (9 October 2009):
 I agree with your decision, correct choice. Kudos
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): Hey, I met my man at 16 and I was 21, he told me that he was 17-still not much differnce,but my feelings were so strong that I couldn't let him go. We ended up having a child and we after alot of ups and downs we are still together. He is 20 now and I am 25. People still say I am a paedo and all that jazz! but I can't see myself with anybody else. He is able to satisfy me in evey way possible, even at 16, better then the older guys.. Age has nothing to do with it.
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male
reader, Confuzzled012  +, writes (5 October 2009):
 I think that's a fine dicision. You should keep in touch with him though. Who knows... maybe you can have a beautiful relationship one day.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your inputs.
He told me that he thought I was 15/16 so he wanted to appear older and mature by saying he's 18. I don't think he lied to me to betray me in any way. I do however wish I'd known the truth from the get go cos like some of you have worked out, I wouldn't have given him a chance. I have no interest in sleeping with him as I'm traumatized by the age difference. I'm grateful to him for telling me the truth before things escalated. I do agree that it's probably best to end things. While he's in the legal age, and he looks older than I am, I'd feel morally wrong if I proceed with things. Maybe when he's 20 and we're both single, but for now, I'd have to bow out. Let me know what you think of my decision.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): I don't think it's a good idea. I know where I'm from thier is laws about such things. If you really like him ask if he can wait till he's 18 or of legal age in your country.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): Hey, I was in that exact same situation a few years ago. It's a difficult thing to find out someone lied to you about something like that. You get your feelings and emotions involved only to find out the person lied to you. The guy that lied to me about his age was also lying about a bunch of other stupid stuff, like having a job (which he didn't), so be careful. If he's lied about one thing he might be lying about another. Also after lying about something like this the trust in your relationship will be damaged. Will you ever fully be able to trust him again?
Legally I'm not sure if it's a problem I don't know the laws where you are but where I am it is illegal if one person is under 18 and one is over.
That is a pretty big age gap which if you were both older wouldn't be such an issue but during that phase of your life that age gap is going to cause problems. He's still got what another 2 years of highschool left and you're probably in college right? I think the best idea would be to just end things now, he lied to you, and remain friends if you want, then when he's a little more grown up and mature you can see if it's something you want to pursue.
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reader, adamskidude +, writes (5 October 2009):
leave him ASAP, a relationship built on a lie is not a relationship at all/ :) xx
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male
reader, Confuzzled012 +, writes (5 October 2009):
People lie, not typically to hurt others but to keep themselves safe. He was scared that if you knew his age you wouldn't give him a chance. Well would you have? He felt he needed to do it for some reason, either because he's been judged for his age in the past, or he knows that you have limits on younger men. Try to understand that the lie didn't come from a need to betray you and your trust, but to get the chance he needed from you. Sort of how a person who is bipolar might not tell their partner until he/she gets to know him/her and is willing to look past the bipolar. He is a little young. You might want to put the relationship on hold until is he 18 and legal. But if you like him for him, age shouldn't be a huge ordeal.
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male
reader, vampiric_nikolas  +, writes (5 October 2009):
if your relationahip isn`t sexual and your able to restrain from having sex with the lad then i suppose it will be fine to remain in contact. however if things progress to were it shouldn`t then cut off contact. he is a minor your an adult its your choice to corrupt him or separate. good luck seems he was afraid you would be disinterested if you knew his true age but don`t let things esclate out of control.
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female
reader, Summer1951 +, writes (5 October 2009):
If you fell for this lad when you thought he was older, whats changed other than you now know the truth about his age. What does age have to do with anything if you are happy and get on really well.
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